No sleep...
I can't fucking sleep. It happens every night, and I hate it. But some of my best moments, my most creative ones, have been late at night.
I wish I could change everything. Sometimes I even wish I could be "normal". No, I'm not normal. I'm one of the 2% of people that doesn't think like everyone else. They call it gifted, some even call it genius. I don't know about that, Einstein was a genius and came up with some shit I could never think of. But I know I'm smart, and my dad says I'm too smart for my own good. He's right.
I think what pains me the most is that I know I'm creative, I know I'm sharp as a tack, but I don't know how to use that to it's full potential. Everyone in my life from kindergarten on has said "Chris, you have great potential, you just need to apply yourself". Apply myself. Isn't that something you do with a sticker? Apply it somewhere? All cuteness aside, I don't know what the hell to do with myself. I know what I want to do in life, I know how I theoretically need to get there... I just don't know how to do it. How to get it done. School is obvious... but what everything else?
I think I need to stop thinking so much about it, leave it up to the big man upstairs, and just let things happen. I'm a big believer in Fate, I should let it happen.
I wish I could change everything. Sometimes I even wish I could be "normal". No, I'm not normal. I'm one of the 2% of people that doesn't think like everyone else. They call it gifted, some even call it genius. I don't know about that, Einstein was a genius and came up with some shit I could never think of. But I know I'm smart, and my dad says I'm too smart for my own good. He's right.
I think what pains me the most is that I know I'm creative, I know I'm sharp as a tack, but I don't know how to use that to it's full potential. Everyone in my life from kindergarten on has said "Chris, you have great potential, you just need to apply yourself". Apply myself. Isn't that something you do with a sticker? Apply it somewhere? All cuteness aside, I don't know what the hell to do with myself. I know what I want to do in life, I know how I theoretically need to get there... I just don't know how to do it. How to get it done. School is obvious... but what everything else?
I think I need to stop thinking so much about it, leave it up to the big man upstairs, and just let things happen. I'm a big believer in Fate, I should let it happen.