"Dude, you're in a malaise"
Back around the time of my last posting in October, I found myself in a funk. I was on vacation for a week and as the week wore on I found myself just not giving a shit about anything. I had things I had planned on doing that week and just couldn't be bothered to do them. It's not that I was doing anything else. I just couldn't get it up to do anything. Not because I was sick. I just wasn't giving a fuck. As my buddy Chuck said, "Dude, you're in a malaise".
Still in this "malaise" at the end of October, I went back to the doctor to check up on how the new blood pressure meds were doing (they are doing the job). I was disgusted to find out I had gained 6 pounds since my previous visit. This didn't help my state of mind. Six pounds on my body is only a smidge percentage-wise but I didn't feel like I had been overdoing it to gain anything although I knew that my belt and pants were getting tight lately. My doc gave me a referral to the weight loss surgeon he had spoken to on my behalf. He thinks that maybe due to my conditions, this doc might be able to convince my insurance company to ok weight loss surgery for me. Not that I am guaranteed anything, I started giving this option some thought as to whether it is the right thing to do. Food & Drink are my one true pleasure in this world. If I have surgery I lose weight but I also lose my enjoyment of eating and there would be a good chance I wouldn't be able to tolerate alcohol anymore. It's not like I am an alcoholic or anything, but as you know I homebrew and enjoy a few pints every week. If I was one to drink for the effect I would certainly be brewing something a lot stronger than the usual Milds & Bitters I do, but I digress... So, do I go for surgery and lose weight and deal with the issues presented with such surgery?
I seriously thought about it and came to the realization that surgery is merely treating a symptom, and not the cause. If I had the weight loss surgery, I would still have to control my over-eating which is the root of the problem. I have seen people who have had the surgery and did not change their eating habits and eventually the small pouch of a stomach that the surgery left them with begins to grow and they gain back weight. What it comes down to regardless of the type of diet you have is calories in vs. calories burned. Yes, staying away from too many carbs and fats is important as they are more susceptible to turning into fat in the body, but these items are higher in calories to begin with so by limiting the number of calories you intake everyday, eliminates many of these foods.
Therefore, I have made the decision to try and go this route by reducing my intake. I am keeping my appointment with the weight loss doc which isn't until January 19th and challenging myself to see how much I can lose prior to that appointment. If I can prove to myself I can do it, I can keep it going after that. Who knows, maybe the doc will have additional help for me outside of surgical options. Currently, I am trying to keep it to around 1000 calories a day. Some days it is a little more and I have also fasted on the occasional day as well. Mixing it up keeps the body from getting used to a certain level of food and setting the metabolism to that. I wasn't eating a lot of bad foods before, just too much of what I did have. Now I definitely make sure what I am eating counts towards nutritional content. I'm eating a lot of veggie stir-frys and salads which I have always liked anyway. I'm trying to get more fish in to my diet too. Since I'm the only one in the house who likes fish, it can be tough, but I'm getting it done. I've been on this new way of life for around 4 weeks and have gone from busting out of my belt to dropping a notch on the belt. It's always easy at the beginning of course. I dealt with the holiday fairly well, and even went to a beer fest on Friday night. As long as I manage my intake around these things, I can still lose weight and have the occasional pure pleasure of food & drink. My back and my knees are already feeling the effects, although right now my back is a bit tweaked from moving some furniture around last week. That will go away and perhaps I will >gasp!< start exercising on a regular basis.
Making these change has helped me come out of my "malaise". I'm not sure that this was the cause of my crap attitude or not. I know that my blood sugar had been out of whack so perhaps it was. I was off from work all of last week and actually got some things accomplished. It was a good feeling.
I was back at work today although the Motrin and muscle relaxants for my back had me a bit dopey. It's not so much my back anymore as it is the muscles that connect to the back and run through the left side of my ass and connect down into my leg being knotted up and un-flexable.
You can't keep a big dog down for long though. Expect more frequent updates to avoid these long, boring, tales of the minutia of my life.