Multi Rant
It's a multi-rant. Kind of like a multi-pass but not as cool.
I think too much while driving and realize that is stuff that bothers me that I will never tell anyone, even teh girlfriend. There is just stuff in regards to the miltary that many won't understand. People might, but I still won't talk about it. Not everybody understands the miltary. I see this all the itme with spouses. It takes a certain person to marry someone in the military. I grew up miltary, served, and even have an odd feeling like I was kicked out of my family now that I was medically discharged. I still have that draw to it though. I am workign on getting a gov't civilian job which will allow me to get as close to being back in military without being in.
I don't know where I am going with this anymore. Too much shit going through my mind today. My weird guilty for being alive (and no I will never explain this to anyone). My fear of my own mortality. How most of this drives an already strong need to have kids (I know that is odd for a guy, but with my and family medical isses I will be happy to make it to 50, expencting to maybe hit 60, and would probably die of shock if I live to 70).
I don't know what I was going to say here anymore.
I think too much while driving and realize that is stuff that bothers me that I will never tell anyone, even teh girlfriend. There is just stuff in regards to the miltary that many won't understand. People might, but I still won't talk about it. Not everybody understands the miltary. I see this all the itme with spouses. It takes a certain person to marry someone in the military. I grew up miltary, served, and even have an odd feeling like I was kicked out of my family now that I was medically discharged. I still have that draw to it though. I am workign on getting a gov't civilian job which will allow me to get as close to being back in military without being in.
I don't know where I am going with this anymore. Too much shit going through my mind today. My weird guilty for being alive (and no I will never explain this to anyone). My fear of my own mortality. How most of this drives an already strong need to have kids (I know that is odd for a guy, but with my and family medical isses I will be happy to make it to 50, expencting to maybe hit 60, and would probably die of shock if I live to 70).
I don't know what I was going to say here anymore.