sn fic:"what a difference a day makes" PG
The world series
Title "What a difference a day makes" 10/10
Disclaimer: Aaron Sorkin is the luckiest man in the world
Warning: PG
Pairing: Casey/Dan
You had to learn the hard way, that the process of falling in love with your best friend, is a bit like grieving your friendship.
Denial
"We kissed" you can hear a voice beside you say.
You try your hardest to fall asleep, but instead you find yourself nodding.
"It was awkward"
You nod again.
"But you still liked it"
"I almost got a nose bleed" you turn to face his imaginary complexion.
"But you liked it."
You turn back your head and shut your eyes. Maybe if you'll ignore him he'll go away.
"You really liked it"
You nod again.
"But you left"
"I had to"
"While you were still straight?"
"While I still could"
Anger
You want to call him. You want to pick up the phone and call him.
"Call me"
NO. You scold yourself.
"Call me" The voice insists.
NO. You know things will look totally different in the morning.
Tomorrow you'll regret having made that call.
Tomorrow you'll remember he's your best friend. You'll remember just what that means.
Right now, though, you can't look past the gut- tearing need, to hear him, to shout at him.
"What did you do to me?"
Bargaining
You make an agreement with yourself, that if you end up talking to him today, you'll tell him.
He calls. It doesn't seem like he regrets kissing you last night.
"If he calls me again", you tell yourself after hanging up, "I will tell him."
Charlie is a good distraction.
He does call again, and you say to yourself,
"If I see him today I'll tell him".
Then you are with him on that roof,
and you tell yourself,
"If only Charlie wasn't around."
And suddenly he isn't, and your hand is pressed roughly against his heart.
And you know that if you push any less, your hand will be shaking.
If only he'll tell you what those words mean...
But then you are home again, watching him doing your show.
"You love me" the voice says as you lay down to sleep.
You look at him and nod.
You will tell him tomorrow.
Depression
You want to stop him. But you don't know what to say.
You have no shirt on, and she has no pants.
And he fled out so fast, he didn't even let you explain.
You pace around the office like a lunatic.
driving everybody crazy.
"where is Danny?"
why isn't he back yet?
And Isaac understands.
So does Jeremy.
What if he doesn't?
He comes back, two hours too late, from his interview,
wearing the face of sadness.
Acceptance
"Danny" he's sitting in editing watching his interview with Bobby Valentine,
pausing on a close- up of Valentine's face.
Bobby Valentine's dead expression is echoed in Danny's face.
You call out his name again. He doesn't acknowledge you.
You close the door and sit down.
"Danny" you reach out and touch him. He doesn't back away.
It's worse, he disregards your touch.
"There's no hope Casey." he lowers his gaze.
"Yes there is" you tell him.
"They're going to lose. I could see it in his eyes"
"what?" you're confuzed.
"Bobby Valentine's eyes, he knows."
"Danny, look..." You try to move closer still.
He shifts his face to look at you.
"You know sleeping with Sally Sasser, the very masculine Sally Sasser, is the worst thing you could do, if you're trying to prove you're not gay."
"I didn't" You tell him "I didn't sleep with Sally".
He looks back down, shaking his head.
"You don't have to lie to me, you don't have to answer to me." .
You strengthen your grip on his wrist. "Sally showed up about ten minutes before you got there, in nothing but my shirt under her coat, she left ten minutes after you did, I didn't sleep with her."
"But you wanted to" he almost whispers.
"Yes I did" he pulls his wrist away from your hold.
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because I wanted to sleep with Sally, and I couldn't"
"You know, your impotence is really none of my business."
"I couldn't sleep with her because of you." You try to explain.
You try to make him look at you.
"I didn't mean to get in your way." He says flatly.
"That's not what I meant"
suddenly he swivels in his chair towards you.
"What are you so afraid of? Is it being called gay? Do you think you're less of a man if you sleep with other men?" He stares at you accusingly.
At least now you can see his eyes.
"No, Danny..." You want to make him understand. He always got you, why can't he now?
"As long as I'm straight I have every excuse to go on seeing the Sallys and the Pixlys and the Lisas of the world. but If I'm gay, I don't have any excuse to see anyone else but you."
"So you're not gay because you don't want to sleep with me?" he's baffled
Why is it so hard? Why aren't the words coming out right?
"Yes.No. Wait Danny listen!"
You inhale deeply. And start again.
" I miss you... all the time. Jeremy didn't get it wrong, I imagine talking to you when you're not there, doing things..."
Are you really blushing?
"with you.It never happened to me before. You're my best friend. You mean too much. This means too much. I want you too much. "
And Danny doesn't say a word, but there's comprehension in his eyes.
He knows you. He knows what you're trying to say.
" Danny I need you to tell me, what you said yesterday on the roof"
He smiles, Grabbing your collar leaning forward. He takes a deep breath, and there's a long silent intermission before he opens his mouth again to speak.
" Ani O'hev otcha- I love you." another long breath "tamid ahavti- I always have. Ani tamid o'hav...."
"you always will." you complete
You stop him mid-nod with your lips. In between kisses you menage to say,
"I love you too Danny" . You really want to say 'My Danny', but then you remember you're still men.
Go on- Read the HAPPYLOGUE