Ultimate GRB
While Ninja Gaiden kicked my ass, and I wasn't nearly stealthy enough for Splinter Cell, and I often resort to blowing up my own marines, there's another impossible game that I feel merits mentioning here. This game is one you play in real life, and I have personally broken bones doing it. It's called Advanced Penetration Calculus: Apocalyptic Buttrape (AP Calculus AB for short). This is the most horrible game ever concieved, originally created by the Buttsex Necromancer Archimedes. This guy invented four thousand individual formulas for Gut Reaming Buttsex (GRB) before I ever installed it in my car. Once you start playing this game, you can't just stop. You have to keep playing for nine months straight, or until you die. At no point is the game amusing or fun, and you can't even win. It just releases you after the Calculus has had its way with your rectum for 6,576 hours, and that's only if it isn't a leap year. The Calculus never leaves you either, it just sits there pumping your ass all the time. You can't get away, no one can! Sometimes it posesses gamers and makes them force its dark lessons upon minors when they could have real jobs or a loving family instead. The final boss fight isn't even rewarding. It just rapes you really hard in the ass, shits on your face, beats you violently about the head and neck with its giant dong, and then throws you naked into the street. This is GRB. This is truely pain. This game should be illegal.