(no subject)
Someone I love dearly is gay, and that bothers me. And that bothers me that it bothers me. But it should, shouldn't it? I "dealt with" this a long time ago... I cried for him, cried myself to sleep... But the more I think about it, and the more I talk to the person that I once thought I might marry, the more depressed and sorrowful for him I get. Combine that to the fact that he's been in a relationship with one of my other good male friends from church camp..... It just seems unreal. Like he should be smarter than that. Like it should be an instinct that such behavior is disgusting and wrong, and that even if you have a tendency toward it, you should be able to overcome it. But instead, he embraces it... And makes me ask myself why. He's so smart.. So sweet.. So bright. It's really sad. *sigh* I don't know. I don't want to be the gone-to-church-all-my-life-and-someone-told-me-it-was-bad kind of person. I want to search these things and figure it out on my own. And I've looked.. I looked for hours. And at first, he really had me convinced there was no biblical basis for it being wrong. But starting in Romans 1:26 it sounds like there's proof after all. Though I must admit some other passages that are often quoted are a bit of a stretch. Anyway, it's very sad and depressing... Because I don't think he'll ever see it as anything but good. And y'know, not only is it wrong, but it's just plain gross to think about! Alright, well, I have the feeling that if I don't get up and move soon, I'll have a pressure ulcer on my butt. Goodnight...