Life, death and the Holidays
Another Holiday season is upon us and, like moths to a flame, millions of people flock to the malls to consume. The American National Pastime; consumption. Spending money they don't have on things they don't need. And like many a good and decent folk, I have been wrapped up in Corporate Retail hell. It wasn't so bad at the beginning, but then again, no retail job is. It doesn't help, working for a store that really does sell nothing but shit that people don't really need. A high end novelty store. A jokeshop for people with way too much money. Items that people will pay for, just on the basis of the packaging. The advertising and neat little boxes these items come in, make the consumer feel that the NEED these items, all the while, neglecting the things that they really do need in their lives. The basics. Sure, it's fine to spend a little money on luxuries now and again, but in this world if economic blunders, I think people should start to wake up and realize that their money isn't exactly safe in any institution run by the corporate man. Be it banks or the stock market, your money isn't safe. The only way your money will be insured and safe, is if you insure it and save it yourself. I no longer trust a bank or any of the fine government financial institutions.
That being said, I wondered to myself, why I was forced into a retail position once again. Well, for one, it was the option available to me and I couldn't turn it down. I needed the money, no matter how little it was. Sometimes, I can barely afford to pay car insurance. I had posted my resume to several different positions and only one bit at it. I went into Balchem Corporation on Halloween, and had an interview. From there, a couple of days later, I was asked to come in and take their preliminary tests, which meant I passed the first interview. I passed the tests, and the next part was an interview/tour of the plant I would have been working at. The tour was simple, and the job at hand seemed like it was easy enough. Well, someone must have been better at it, because I didn't get the job. So now, I sit an ponder my current situation once again. It means I'm stuck in retail until the season ends, then I have no job. I plan on going down to the shop on Monday and seeing if I can get my job back. I had determined that after the last few turbulent months, I need that job. I need it because it's what I liked to do and I was happy there. I have come to the conclusion that I will go to one of two places on Monday. To the shop(to get my job back) or to the recruiters office, as I have nothing else I can do. And who knows what will happen if I go with Plan B. Surely they'd tell me that I have to loose a hundred pounds or more, sure they might not even let me in with the medical conditions I have. And if that doesn't pan out, then what? Have I just wasted my entire life? Waiting for that medical treatment that isn't going to come, due to lack of money, and just waiting to die? Well goddammit, it's going to take a lot for this to kill me.
Although, to be perfectly honest, I have come to terms with death. Is it selfish to think this way, though? Selfish to think that upon my own death, the world would have gotten rid of me? A chud of a loser, with ambitions in life, but not the financial means to achieve those goals? Just a floater, going through life, sometimes not eating for days, just to keep his car on the road, so he can get to his shit job?
I never wanted to be that person. That person who was stuck in a job he hates, and forced to make money, just to be able to do the things you want to do, in the allotted time that THEY allow you. Sure, you have to make money, but for what means? So you can afford to buy those luxury items? New cars, fancy clothes and high tech electronics? Why do we need this stuff? Is it a matter of Keeping up with the Joneses? We think this was in a Capitalist country, because we ARE a capitalist country. I have determined that we are no longer a democracy. No democratic government, and it's officials, would be swayed by money or corporate interests. They would be swayed by the people. The people that they are meant to serve. A Capitalism does none of this. They keep the rich richer, and the poor poorer. They fuck the common man, by having him work menial jobs, for shit pay and reduced benefits. But of course, they advertise out the ass, so that the common man spends his hard earned money on indulgences, instead of needs. Everything is an industry now. Everything is seen with dollar signs. This country puts more effort into value rather than values. And for what? So that the rich can have all the money they want, to be involved in their own interests? These people think that they have the will of a god. Throwing money at their problems and, like most humans, their problems accept this generous offer with open arms. This is the time that something has to be done. We need to have a radical change in the way that we live. Our lives must not be dictated by Capitalist regimes anymore. We need to shed this shell of advertising and big business and start focusing on the things that everyone needs in this country. Every single person.
-That is all
That being said, I wondered to myself, why I was forced into a retail position once again. Well, for one, it was the option available to me and I couldn't turn it down. I needed the money, no matter how little it was. Sometimes, I can barely afford to pay car insurance. I had posted my resume to several different positions and only one bit at it. I went into Balchem Corporation on Halloween, and had an interview. From there, a couple of days later, I was asked to come in and take their preliminary tests, which meant I passed the first interview. I passed the tests, and the next part was an interview/tour of the plant I would have been working at. The tour was simple, and the job at hand seemed like it was easy enough. Well, someone must have been better at it, because I didn't get the job. So now, I sit an ponder my current situation once again. It means I'm stuck in retail until the season ends, then I have no job. I plan on going down to the shop on Monday and seeing if I can get my job back. I had determined that after the last few turbulent months, I need that job. I need it because it's what I liked to do and I was happy there. I have come to the conclusion that I will go to one of two places on Monday. To the shop(to get my job back) or to the recruiters office, as I have nothing else I can do. And who knows what will happen if I go with Plan B. Surely they'd tell me that I have to loose a hundred pounds or more, sure they might not even let me in with the medical conditions I have. And if that doesn't pan out, then what? Have I just wasted my entire life? Waiting for that medical treatment that isn't going to come, due to lack of money, and just waiting to die? Well goddammit, it's going to take a lot for this to kill me.
Although, to be perfectly honest, I have come to terms with death. Is it selfish to think this way, though? Selfish to think that upon my own death, the world would have gotten rid of me? A chud of a loser, with ambitions in life, but not the financial means to achieve those goals? Just a floater, going through life, sometimes not eating for days, just to keep his car on the road, so he can get to his shit job?
I never wanted to be that person. That person who was stuck in a job he hates, and forced to make money, just to be able to do the things you want to do, in the allotted time that THEY allow you. Sure, you have to make money, but for what means? So you can afford to buy those luxury items? New cars, fancy clothes and high tech electronics? Why do we need this stuff? Is it a matter of Keeping up with the Joneses? We think this was in a Capitalist country, because we ARE a capitalist country. I have determined that we are no longer a democracy. No democratic government, and it's officials, would be swayed by money or corporate interests. They would be swayed by the people. The people that they are meant to serve. A Capitalism does none of this. They keep the rich richer, and the poor poorer. They fuck the common man, by having him work menial jobs, for shit pay and reduced benefits. But of course, they advertise out the ass, so that the common man spends his hard earned money on indulgences, instead of needs. Everything is an industry now. Everything is seen with dollar signs. This country puts more effort into value rather than values. And for what? So that the rich can have all the money they want, to be involved in their own interests? These people think that they have the will of a god. Throwing money at their problems and, like most humans, their problems accept this generous offer with open arms. This is the time that something has to be done. We need to have a radical change in the way that we live. Our lives must not be dictated by Capitalist regimes anymore. We need to shed this shell of advertising and big business and start focusing on the things that everyone needs in this country. Every single person.
-That is all