nice dream
i had a really good dream. but first, i must explain a couple of things, neither of which ive ever explained in full, at least here.
one, ive come to realize that i idealize people i like or who i am dating into more than they really are, trying to make them into my "Mr. Right" or the perfect person for me. i dont do it all the time, but over time i have become aware of this not so good habit. it is a fun thing to do, but not so good for me, i dont think.
two, i dont know how many people know this, but in middle school i had a MAJOR crush on this boy named mike gadel. he was shorter than i was at the time, but i think over time he grew taller than i. many girls are taller than the boys in middle school anyways. so, i had this crush on him for a really long time, over a year, even though he would always tease me. this was confusing, because i had rather inexperienced social skills coming from just being homeschooled, so i was kind of an outcast, and he was definately one of the most 'popular' boys, though i try to stay away from the word popular. anyways, it caused a lot of confusion and grief, but i eventually got over it and moved my crushed on to another boy. but mike was in this dream.
i know i really liked the setting, like it was a manifestation of the kind of place that could be ideal for me to be in, but only one of many places that would be pleasing to me. there was a lot of water, and i was riding in a really nice boat. it was like a float boat, or a sail boat, nothing with a motor. maybe it one of those big river boats with a round paddle at the end, like the one they have at disneyland. but it was quiet, and we saw along the shore where the water met the land, rivulets and rivers and rock waterslides, and people having fun in the water. i couldnt tell the time period, it was like one that hadnt ever happened, or wasnt ever going to happen, but everyone dressed different, more elegantly, everything about life and social interactions and learning seemed smoother, more enthusiastic, more beautiful, and calm, all at once. girls always wore skirts and dresses, unless an activity they were doing required pants. it seemed as if all expectations of everyone, every sort of expectation you can think of, dropped away. in that sense, the simplicity of it, it seemed before our time, but then everyone in the dream, or maybe just the ambiance, seemed more knowledgeable, heavier, more somber, like it was at a later point in time than now, people had learned more about living.
the part that is most vivid still (though i wish i remembered other parts that i knew existed and i grasp the general feeling of them) is a part where i am in a resturant/bar, that was built of really greyed/old wood, the kind of wood that turns ash grey when it is aged. the inside was not lit up, but there was plenty of light filtering in from outside, where the water made everything really bright.
i was waiting for someone to meet me at a table, and while i was waiting the place got really crowded. i finally gave up waiting, and pushed my way through the 'dance floor' area, and the places that were most crowded.
outside the floating resturant/club there was a run around 'porch', if you could call it that, for on the long sides of the building the porch was only wide enough for a single person to pass. i had in mind to run around the the front of the building to look for the person i was meeting.
as i was going out of the back door it got especially crowded, so that i couldnt move in any direction for a logn while, and i was trapped pressed up against someone else who was walking in the door, facing me standing behind me. i couldnt see who it was, but in the dream it didnt seem alarming that he spoke to me, or alarming what he said, or that he put his hand lightly on my waist. he was wearing a crisp white collared shirt, with khakis. he told me i felt good, but in a way that denoted that i felt good being close to him, being able to smell my hair, the presence of me felt good, not that he was aroused by my being pressed into him. it was more sweet, and romantic, but not so romantic that privacy was needed. (this is the manifestation of my ideal, me looking for my "mr. right")
when the room cleared enough to be able to walk again, he used the hand on my waist to guide me back towards the front of the place. i still hadnt seen who he was, me walking in the dream, but the me observing the dream saw that it was my crush from forever ago, mike gadel. he even acted as if i were the someone he were genuinely interested in, the person he knew he wanted to marry, though when i knew him we never knew each other more than being able to have an 'acquaintence' conversation or a conversation in class, if we were forced to talk (after i got over my childish crush on him).
after this guiding period in the dream i dont remember anything more that happened. i remember seeing the brightness of outside, as he guided me.
one, ive come to realize that i idealize people i like or who i am dating into more than they really are, trying to make them into my "Mr. Right" or the perfect person for me. i dont do it all the time, but over time i have become aware of this not so good habit. it is a fun thing to do, but not so good for me, i dont think.
two, i dont know how many people know this, but in middle school i had a MAJOR crush on this boy named mike gadel. he was shorter than i was at the time, but i think over time he grew taller than i. many girls are taller than the boys in middle school anyways. so, i had this crush on him for a really long time, over a year, even though he would always tease me. this was confusing, because i had rather inexperienced social skills coming from just being homeschooled, so i was kind of an outcast, and he was definately one of the most 'popular' boys, though i try to stay away from the word popular. anyways, it caused a lot of confusion and grief, but i eventually got over it and moved my crushed on to another boy. but mike was in this dream.
i know i really liked the setting, like it was a manifestation of the kind of place that could be ideal for me to be in, but only one of many places that would be pleasing to me. there was a lot of water, and i was riding in a really nice boat. it was like a float boat, or a sail boat, nothing with a motor. maybe it one of those big river boats with a round paddle at the end, like the one they have at disneyland. but it was quiet, and we saw along the shore where the water met the land, rivulets and rivers and rock waterslides, and people having fun in the water. i couldnt tell the time period, it was like one that hadnt ever happened, or wasnt ever going to happen, but everyone dressed different, more elegantly, everything about life and social interactions and learning seemed smoother, more enthusiastic, more beautiful, and calm, all at once. girls always wore skirts and dresses, unless an activity they were doing required pants. it seemed as if all expectations of everyone, every sort of expectation you can think of, dropped away. in that sense, the simplicity of it, it seemed before our time, but then everyone in the dream, or maybe just the ambiance, seemed more knowledgeable, heavier, more somber, like it was at a later point in time than now, people had learned more about living.
the part that is most vivid still (though i wish i remembered other parts that i knew existed and i grasp the general feeling of them) is a part where i am in a resturant/bar, that was built of really greyed/old wood, the kind of wood that turns ash grey when it is aged. the inside was not lit up, but there was plenty of light filtering in from outside, where the water made everything really bright.
i was waiting for someone to meet me at a table, and while i was waiting the place got really crowded. i finally gave up waiting, and pushed my way through the 'dance floor' area, and the places that were most crowded.
outside the floating resturant/club there was a run around 'porch', if you could call it that, for on the long sides of the building the porch was only wide enough for a single person to pass. i had in mind to run around the the front of the building to look for the person i was meeting.
as i was going out of the back door it got especially crowded, so that i couldnt move in any direction for a logn while, and i was trapped pressed up against someone else who was walking in the door, facing me standing behind me. i couldnt see who it was, but in the dream it didnt seem alarming that he spoke to me, or alarming what he said, or that he put his hand lightly on my waist. he was wearing a crisp white collared shirt, with khakis. he told me i felt good, but in a way that denoted that i felt good being close to him, being able to smell my hair, the presence of me felt good, not that he was aroused by my being pressed into him. it was more sweet, and romantic, but not so romantic that privacy was needed. (this is the manifestation of my ideal, me looking for my "mr. right")
when the room cleared enough to be able to walk again, he used the hand on my waist to guide me back towards the front of the place. i still hadnt seen who he was, me walking in the dream, but the me observing the dream saw that it was my crush from forever ago, mike gadel. he even acted as if i were the someone he were genuinely interested in, the person he knew he wanted to marry, though when i knew him we never knew each other more than being able to have an 'acquaintence' conversation or a conversation in class, if we were forced to talk (after i got over my childish crush on him).
after this guiding period in the dream i dont remember anything more that happened. i remember seeing the brightness of outside, as he guided me.