Fuck my life
Maybe I should have waited until after graduation...then I would have had an excuse not to have done this in person. If I don't keep myself distracted with something (ILU webcomics and PuppyCam) my mind starts to drift off into not happy territory and I start to break down again.
I want to appologize to him, I want to make it up to him, but I know that's pretty much impossible at this point, especialy since I'm the one who sort of just stopped talking in the end. Planning on sending him a letter over with the things I need to give back to him via Syl, just to clear a few things up (mainly the fact that our two years together DID mean something to me, and that he really was the nicest, sweetest person I could ask for in the first boyfriend I really had...hell, even just thinking about it makes me wish I didn't have to do this, but it's just not what I want right now and it just genuinely didn't feel fair to him, especialy since it was very blatant his feelings were stronger than mine). If he trashes the letter, so be it, and if he reads it he's a heck of a better person than I am who hasn't even been able to bring myself to read those last messages he sent me on AIM after Kit came over.
Crap...I hate hurting people...I just want to erase that image of his face from my mind when I last saw him...
I want to appologize to him, I want to make it up to him, but I know that's pretty much impossible at this point, especialy since I'm the one who sort of just stopped talking in the end. Planning on sending him a letter over with the things I need to give back to him via Syl, just to clear a few things up (mainly the fact that our two years together DID mean something to me, and that he really was the nicest, sweetest person I could ask for in the first boyfriend I really had...hell, even just thinking about it makes me wish I didn't have to do this, but it's just not what I want right now and it just genuinely didn't feel fair to him, especialy since it was very blatant his feelings were stronger than mine). If he trashes the letter, so be it, and if he reads it he's a heck of a better person than I am who hasn't even been able to bring myself to read those last messages he sent me on AIM after Kit came over.
Crap...I hate hurting people...I just want to erase that image of his face from my mind when I last saw him...