I wanted to write a poem today
I wanted to write a poem today
But I laughed with friends this morning instead
Back home -
I napped for 4 hours
I am devoid of the ability to "drive" myself anymore
I have felt like a robot for days and days - I order the robot what to do and it does it
The robot leaks out tears but keeps shuffling on
I found out I forgot my daughter's dentist appointment today
I want to sit and read a book with a cool drink by my side
I want to sit on the porch and relax with a breeze blowing
I want to write in my journal
I want to sleep some more
I want to have no obligations
No decisions, no jobs to do, no appointments to make, no phone calls to make, no forms to fill out
No junk to sort though, no smelly dust to breathe, no decisions to be made about where something belongs
More than anything though I want to sleep some more and have more dreams, sleep till I'm dreamed out.
~
I dreamed just now there was a little innocent squirrel being chased by evil foxes. It went out on a telephone wire thinking it would lose them but they followed it hanging by their front feet from the wire. They were biting the legs of the squirrel and had it trapped by it's toes. I was on a bridge watching all this at the same level as the wire. I threw a football sized piece of hardened shit at the foxes and the next thing I knew they all fell down about 40 feet to the ruins of a old city. I couldn't see them to see if the squirrel had escaped or survived the fall. I took out my camera and was zooming in to see if I could see better through the camera. It was like the insides of the camera were loose and clunking around inside when I zoomed or when I took a picture. I was worried about the camera that it was ruined somehow and I would have to return it. I could barely see the squirrel and foxes but I did see their shadowy gray forms in the dusty ruins limping off in different directions so I knew they had survived. I was alone with my camera now and taking lots of pictures of nothing in particular to see if it could still work even though the insides were loose now. It seemed to still work but I worried it may quit soon and then what?
~
The repair man was here and said he fixed the phone line (he said he couldn't find anything to fix) but the computer internet still is messed up and barely working. It's hopeless.