FIC: Miscellaneous Sam Drabbles
1. Question
There’s a moment when Daniel’s going to ask. He really is. He’s going to ask Jack about his dreams and about the future and about what he wants from the rest of his life. He’s going to ask about that twinkle Jack gets in his eye when he looks at a certain someone they both know. He’s going to ask about that ring that Jack’s had for so long it should be rusted, but that he cares for as meticulously as he does his personal sidearm. He’s going to ask about kids or a dog, and if those are things Jack still wants. He’s going to ask what happens if they run out of time before they run out of loyalty to other things . He’s going to ask all of this, he is.
Right after this next drink. He’s not drunk enough to be suicidal yet.
2. Smile
He never smiled much, Sam noticed. Jack O’Neill, that was. He wasn’t big on smiling, though he smirked like a naughty child on occasion. She’d seen his career jacket, he’d been in the sh- crap up to his neck more than once; perhaps, she supposed, he had good reasons. Still, in these early days of their partnership, she would have liked to see him smile at more than Daniel’s expense.
She imagined, when she thought about it, which she didn’t-often anyway-that he’d have a nice smile. He had that kind of face, one that switched between flesh and stone like the flick of a switch. She’d seen him enraged, she’d seen him righteous, she’d even seen him aggrieved, but as of yet she hadn’t seen him happy.
Maybe someday.
3. Night
Teal’c thinks that Tau’ri moon is a good moon when it’s full. It shines strong and bright in the night and illuminates the secrets the humans usually conceal in the dark. It conceals this Jaffa’s heartache tonight.
Fifty years in the dark of space with those he deeply loves and they shall remember none of it. It is an injury he can ill define, and he can only say that it is not one that can be healed by time. It was time’s blade which made it.
Yet it was human hands which tended it and human lips which kissed it, and those lips he shall not kiss again. In this time, the only time of consequence, they will kiss another’s wounds instead. But that is his brother and Teal’c cannot begrudge him a love he, for decades, treasured himself.
This wound will always weep for what never was in the face of what is, and though he will not speak of it and the night may conceal it, the moon will know.
4. Outdoors
Daniel thinks SG-1 is more like a Boy Scout troop than a first contact team. They’ve got all the patches, the sunscreen and the caps. Sam’s got more merit badges than the other three of them combined, though he doesn’t doubt Jack can clean a fish faster. They’re always prepared, no matter what peril befalls them and no matter where. They didn’t earn their premier status by being slow, certainly wouldn’t have survived to get it if they were.
But even they slow down now and again. Perhaps the color of a new sky will catch them off-guard or an unfamiliar ocean will stun them into silence. For all their different lifetimes and disparate origins, they share a love of the outdoors, of nature.
Don’t misunderstand, Daniel could gladly spend years under the mountain, lovingly cleaning his artifacts and deciphering inscription after inscription, but even he would surely die if he could never see another sunrise. Sam is the same, and Teal’c; and, though Jack would never say as much, he’d never deny it either.
This is what they fight for: the sunlight and the clouds, the rushing rivers and the fish. They fight for the beautiful things, for the moons under which they sleep and the stars that guide them home. It’s a good cause to fight for, a good one to share, even if they never talk about it.
5. -
Jonas Quinn wandered a lot in his life. He wandered far from home and close. He wandered where his curiosity took him and his courage. He wandered where his guilt led him and where his loyalty did. Jonas wandered farther than most people seek to travel in a lifetime and all without trying.
Jonas saved a world that wasn’t his without ever managing to save his own. But he survived, as he always did, and he wandered on. New galaxies and new enemies, new civilizations and new tragedies; he faced them all and wandered.
And all he wondered while he wandered was if that world he’d saved that he didn’t own missed him all or if, now, they were just wandering, too.
6. Groovy
It’s way too early to start saying ‘Groovy,’ but it slips out anyway. Daniel smirks, because that’s what Daniel does when someone else is geeky instead of him. Carter laughs, because in this year and month, she’s months old instead of decades and remains, as ever, too young for him. Jack can already see Teal’c working out how to ask what he means and he wants nothing to do with it.
Being the old guy sucks enough when his knees hurt; he doesn’t want to get anyone started about him forgetting what decade they’re in. Like that happens all the time. As if. And he realizes, it’s the wrong decade for that, too.
D’oh. He needs to get back to the ‘90s and fast.
7. Family
Cassandra Fraiser gets married at thirty-four. She is far out of med school and leading a life of danger and discovery in the same place where her mother lived, in the same place that her mother died. It’s funny, she thought things would have changed by now. The SGC remains a secret world unto itself and she’s at the heart of it. One of the few left who knows the how it truly began and who can name the names and describe the faces, she feels like living history as she walks these halls.
She gets respect from every member of personnel she meets, even more than befitting the woman who sticks gigantic needles where the sun don’t shine. But she gets it, she’s always gotten it. As the child of the famous SG-1, she’s the daughter of a few legacies.
The late General O’Neill’s little girl - he walked her down the aisle, even with his bad knees. The late General Carter’s adoptive daughter - Cassie’s daughter had called her grandma and it broke her heart when Sam cried. Vala Mal Doran’s partner in crime - Daniel had been afraid they’d become close and he’d been right to fear. Teal’c’s confidante - she knew more about the future he’d lost than she had any right to and she was the only not to question his choice to live as far from Earth, and Sam, as possible.
She carries all their victories and all their regrets on her shoulders. She’s the daughter of lost chances and last minute luck, even if she feels like she has too many of one and not enough of the other. That’s another thing she got from them. But more than that, she got memories and she got love. She got a family. She’ll never regret that. The only thing she regrets is that it's over.
8. Sweet
Sam turned forty today and it was fine. She got the occasional well wish and brighter smiles than usual all-around. No one knew how to treat the boss on her birthday and she was still a stranger most of the time, so she hadn’t expected more. It just would have been nice if, on a day this big, she’d had something more to look forward to than the next overwhelming disaster.
Thankfully, disaster had taken a holiday and the day, instead, was filled with monotony. Paperwork and staff meetings and a quiet lunch on her own. Though she often availed herself of the company of Atlantis’ premier team, she decided to pass this once. All they would have done was remind her of home, and with that lost-limb feeling burning stronger than usual, it would have added the insult of resentment to the injury of homesickness. She let them have their quiet camaraderie instead and treated herself to a decadent slice of chocolate cake.
It didn’t hurt that beneath the slice was a saran-wrapped Polaroid of her team and her general holding an eerily familiar cake, the words ‘Happy 40th Birthday’ emblazoned on it in icing. She didn’t see the picture until she took her last bite. She blamed the knot in her throat on the cake and the tears in her eyes on the choking.
This was good. This was sweet.
She freed the photo of its saran wrap confinement and turned it in her hands. Vala was clearly holding the camera angled down toward them as they crowded over the cake. They were dressed in a mixture of BDUs and civvies of varying colors and she got the feeling that they’d had the party she was supposed to have. They’d celebrated on her behalf. That was just like her team, just like her family.
She missed them so much, and apparently they’d missed her, too.
Sam Carter turned forty today and it was fine, if a little bittersweet. Next year, she promised herself, would be just sweet.
9. Opposite
She wanted the opposite of this. She spent months wondering what she’d actually wanted and she knows now, now that it’s too late, that she wanted the opposite of this. Pete’s snoring at her side, with the muted football game running distractingly, but harmlessly on the screen. The house is dark and quiet, the world is safe and continues to turn, and the SGC is as strong as ever. She’s always wanted those things, but the part where Jack O’Neill won’t be there to call her first thing in the morning, the part where he isn’t somewhere watching the night sky or waiting out fish that will never come? She’s never wanted that.
Now, he’s quiet and cold while she sits here beside a man, a dear friend, she should easily be able to love. She can’t love him and she can’t love the world the colonel left her with. She wanted peace and safety and normal, and she has all that. Now she sees that she protested too much.
She wanted - still wants - the opposite of this.
There’s a moment when Daniel’s going to ask. He really is. He’s going to ask Jack about his dreams and about the future and about what he wants from the rest of his life. He’s going to ask about that twinkle Jack gets in his eye when he looks at a certain someone they both know. He’s going to ask about that ring that Jack’s had for so long it should be rusted, but that he cares for as meticulously as he does his personal sidearm. He’s going to ask about kids or a dog, and if those are things Jack still wants. He’s going to ask what happens if they run out of time before they run out of loyalty to other things . He’s going to ask all of this, he is.
Right after this next drink. He’s not drunk enough to be suicidal yet.
2. Smile
He never smiled much, Sam noticed. Jack O’Neill, that was. He wasn’t big on smiling, though he smirked like a naughty child on occasion. She’d seen his career jacket, he’d been in the sh- crap up to his neck more than once; perhaps, she supposed, he had good reasons. Still, in these early days of their partnership, she would have liked to see him smile at more than Daniel’s expense.
She imagined, when she thought about it, which she didn’t-often anyway-that he’d have a nice smile. He had that kind of face, one that switched between flesh and stone like the flick of a switch. She’d seen him enraged, she’d seen him righteous, she’d even seen him aggrieved, but as of yet she hadn’t seen him happy.
Maybe someday.
3. Night
Teal’c thinks that Tau’ri moon is a good moon when it’s full. It shines strong and bright in the night and illuminates the secrets the humans usually conceal in the dark. It conceals this Jaffa’s heartache tonight.
Fifty years in the dark of space with those he deeply loves and they shall remember none of it. It is an injury he can ill define, and he can only say that it is not one that can be healed by time. It was time’s blade which made it.
Yet it was human hands which tended it and human lips which kissed it, and those lips he shall not kiss again. In this time, the only time of consequence, they will kiss another’s wounds instead. But that is his brother and Teal’c cannot begrudge him a love he, for decades, treasured himself.
This wound will always weep for what never was in the face of what is, and though he will not speak of it and the night may conceal it, the moon will know.
4. Outdoors
Daniel thinks SG-1 is more like a Boy Scout troop than a first contact team. They’ve got all the patches, the sunscreen and the caps. Sam’s got more merit badges than the other three of them combined, though he doesn’t doubt Jack can clean a fish faster. They’re always prepared, no matter what peril befalls them and no matter where. They didn’t earn their premier status by being slow, certainly wouldn’t have survived to get it if they were.
But even they slow down now and again. Perhaps the color of a new sky will catch them off-guard or an unfamiliar ocean will stun them into silence. For all their different lifetimes and disparate origins, they share a love of the outdoors, of nature.
Don’t misunderstand, Daniel could gladly spend years under the mountain, lovingly cleaning his artifacts and deciphering inscription after inscription, but even he would surely die if he could never see another sunrise. Sam is the same, and Teal’c; and, though Jack would never say as much, he’d never deny it either.
This is what they fight for: the sunlight and the clouds, the rushing rivers and the fish. They fight for the beautiful things, for the moons under which they sleep and the stars that guide them home. It’s a good cause to fight for, a good one to share, even if they never talk about it.
5. -
Jonas Quinn wandered a lot in his life. He wandered far from home and close. He wandered where his curiosity took him and his courage. He wandered where his guilt led him and where his loyalty did. Jonas wandered farther than most people seek to travel in a lifetime and all without trying.
Jonas saved a world that wasn’t his without ever managing to save his own. But he survived, as he always did, and he wandered on. New galaxies and new enemies, new civilizations and new tragedies; he faced them all and wandered.
And all he wondered while he wandered was if that world he’d saved that he didn’t own missed him all or if, now, they were just wandering, too.
6. Groovy
It’s way too early to start saying ‘Groovy,’ but it slips out anyway. Daniel smirks, because that’s what Daniel does when someone else is geeky instead of him. Carter laughs, because in this year and month, she’s months old instead of decades and remains, as ever, too young for him. Jack can already see Teal’c working out how to ask what he means and he wants nothing to do with it.
Being the old guy sucks enough when his knees hurt; he doesn’t want to get anyone started about him forgetting what decade they’re in. Like that happens all the time. As if. And he realizes, it’s the wrong decade for that, too.
D’oh. He needs to get back to the ‘90s and fast.
7. Family
Cassandra Fraiser gets married at thirty-four. She is far out of med school and leading a life of danger and discovery in the same place where her mother lived, in the same place that her mother died. It’s funny, she thought things would have changed by now. The SGC remains a secret world unto itself and she’s at the heart of it. One of the few left who knows the how it truly began and who can name the names and describe the faces, she feels like living history as she walks these halls.
She gets respect from every member of personnel she meets, even more than befitting the woman who sticks gigantic needles where the sun don’t shine. But she gets it, she’s always gotten it. As the child of the famous SG-1, she’s the daughter of a few legacies.
The late General O’Neill’s little girl - he walked her down the aisle, even with his bad knees. The late General Carter’s adoptive daughter - Cassie’s daughter had called her grandma and it broke her heart when Sam cried. Vala Mal Doran’s partner in crime - Daniel had been afraid they’d become close and he’d been right to fear. Teal’c’s confidante - she knew more about the future he’d lost than she had any right to and she was the only not to question his choice to live as far from Earth, and Sam, as possible.
She carries all their victories and all their regrets on her shoulders. She’s the daughter of lost chances and last minute luck, even if she feels like she has too many of one and not enough of the other. That’s another thing she got from them. But more than that, she got memories and she got love. She got a family. She’ll never regret that. The only thing she regrets is that it's over.
8. Sweet
Sam turned forty today and it was fine. She got the occasional well wish and brighter smiles than usual all-around. No one knew how to treat the boss on her birthday and she was still a stranger most of the time, so she hadn’t expected more. It just would have been nice if, on a day this big, she’d had something more to look forward to than the next overwhelming disaster.
Thankfully, disaster had taken a holiday and the day, instead, was filled with monotony. Paperwork and staff meetings and a quiet lunch on her own. Though she often availed herself of the company of Atlantis’ premier team, she decided to pass this once. All they would have done was remind her of home, and with that lost-limb feeling burning stronger than usual, it would have added the insult of resentment to the injury of homesickness. She let them have their quiet camaraderie instead and treated herself to a decadent slice of chocolate cake.
It didn’t hurt that beneath the slice was a saran-wrapped Polaroid of her team and her general holding an eerily familiar cake, the words ‘Happy 40th Birthday’ emblazoned on it in icing. She didn’t see the picture until she took her last bite. She blamed the knot in her throat on the cake and the tears in her eyes on the choking.
This was good. This was sweet.
She freed the photo of its saran wrap confinement and turned it in her hands. Vala was clearly holding the camera angled down toward them as they crowded over the cake. They were dressed in a mixture of BDUs and civvies of varying colors and she got the feeling that they’d had the party she was supposed to have. They’d celebrated on her behalf. That was just like her team, just like her family.
She missed them so much, and apparently they’d missed her, too.
Sam Carter turned forty today and it was fine, if a little bittersweet. Next year, she promised herself, would be just sweet.
9. Opposite
She wanted the opposite of this. She spent months wondering what she’d actually wanted and she knows now, now that it’s too late, that she wanted the opposite of this. Pete’s snoring at her side, with the muted football game running distractingly, but harmlessly on the screen. The house is dark and quiet, the world is safe and continues to turn, and the SGC is as strong as ever. She’s always wanted those things, but the part where Jack O’Neill won’t be there to call her first thing in the morning, the part where he isn’t somewhere watching the night sky or waiting out fish that will never come? She’s never wanted that.
Now, he’s quiet and cold while she sits here beside a man, a dear friend, she should easily be able to love. She can’t love him and she can’t love the world the colonel left her with. She wanted peace and safety and normal, and she has all that. Now she sees that she protested too much.
She wanted - still wants - the opposite of this.