Thursdays are the best days
Thursdays have always been my best days. This one was the very best I've had in a long time.
I got a call back from neurosurgery. They've accepted me as a patient. I feel a lot better about a neurosurgeon monitoring my cyst than neurologists who think ignoring it until it becomes a problem is the best course. Because when this thing goes bad, it's going to be very bad. I'd like to monitor mister atypical expanded pine cone so it doesn't ever get to really bad when it's time for it to come out. I'm prepared to hear that after MRI No. 2, I won't need another MRI until next year and that everything is ok. As much as I'd like it out now, I realize that it may cause more problems, and I may not have a pineal gland when they do take it out. There are people who don't have pineal glands and their quality of life isn't that good - then again, their surgeries happened after things went really bad. Hell, there's this one guy who barely had a brain left that was still functional somehow after decades of charis malformations. I like my big squishy brain, thank you. I don't think I'd be as functional as that guy was. In fact, I think he was the only guy who managed to live like that. Most everyone else I've read about goes on a killing spree or just dies. I don't want that.
Deficiency theory is coming along well. One neurologist and my head doctors agree with my findings and supplement course. I think I'm adjusting to the allergy shots, too. Still moody, agitated and irritated for 24 hours after, but I didn't have a sinus headache from hell after this week's shot. I wish my DO had ordered the deficiency panel I asked for in November, but he did do the endocrine panel. My wide range of symptoms has been narrowing and my body and migraines feel like they're stabilizing, although I've been in some kind of brain fog almost pre-migraine won't wake up in the mornings funk the last two weeks.
Today was my first sewing class at the college. I was so happy. We were only sewing paper tonight, but I got my accuracy down. I can now turn at my pivot points better than ever by shortening my stitch length to meet them. Ah! And stitching a curve! I've read about that so many times but had no idea what they were talking about. I've been moving my fabric the whole time. It certainly explains why I've had so much trouble with the way difficult fabric drapes - guiding the fabric into the curve caused everything to be off. We're sewing on these badass industrial Berninas, too. It's like the bully version of my/mumz's Bernie. Their foot petals are pretty damn sensitive, and they want to speed like racecars, but I got the rhythm down wearing heels even! I did have a fuck my job, I'm going to work in a sweat shop thought in my head for a second. I really did love it. But I don't want to sew frankenparts. I don't think if be happy unless I was actually sewing whole garments and maybe having some aspect of design and creativity thrown in from time to time. There is still the hyperfocusing production side of my psyche that says you'd be fucking happy sewing the same line over and over again. Both sides are true. The one that says I could put my heart into the same things every day by honing down the basics, and the side of my spirit that says I'd want to forge my own way and use my mind which would get me in trouble when I'd want to change a process. The fashion industry is the most resistant to change. I've worked in the business long enough to know that. Until then, I'll be breaking down the basics and trying to pace myself at Gail K. And loving every moment I have learning, sewing and enjoying the fuck out of my time with this body of mine that isn't able to do the things it used to do.