802.11b
Oh, Gods, I am SO 802.11b. And it's so obvious that I'm not That Kind Of Geek, I just dated one for a while.
I'm updating from Cafe Zog, one of my favourite places to get breakfast in all of Providence. I'm in a cafe and on the web at the same time! I know my glee is several years too old, but- hey, it's been more than a decade since I've had a working laptop. This one's just borrowed. Oooh, I can do that mega-entry, directly!
I've been borrowing my mom's iBook sporadically since the beginning of the semester. As I feared, one of my classes was being taught in a PC lab. Boooo! Hisssssss! So not on for a lifelong member of Tribe Mac. iBook to the rescue!
Can't wait to get my own, now. Except it's those shiny new 17" Powerbooks that I'm batting my eyelashes at. Not this month. Maybe not 'til Fall or '05, but I will be going back to school with a shiny Powerbook in my backpack. And some sharpened pencils.
Anyway, get your scroll buttons ready, here's my thoughts for the last few weeks:
Hee, hee, hee! I'm up in a tree! After all those commercials showing people using their laptops in their backyard, I thought it was fitting to write my first laptop-LJ entry up a tree. I'm not very far up: I'm not stupid, and this IS a borrowed iBook. Still, it's cementing my desire to get a Powerbook. Then I could be up in a tree AND shiny. :)
Funny, I live only a mile away from this park, but the last time I was climbing this tree was around dawn, after a Games Night, and I was talking with this cool chickie named Ezra that I didn't really know. She kept bitchin' about a loser she was dating (or had recently broken up with) who considered watching porn to be adequate foreplay. I can't believe men that stupid are allowed to have sex.
Well, I'll have to continue this elsewhere, my alarm for picking-up-the-Coyote just went off.
Exciting news on the career front. I am continuing to see signs that my efforts to breathe new life into Kitipe Productions is more than a good idea . . . it's something that could be making me money within a few months. Still looking for a webhost. Need to get new versions of Dreamweaver and Flash so I can design, fine-tune, and launch the sites for Kitipe Invites and Kitipe Photography. But before I even think seriously about the web side, I have to make a sample book because I could have my first clients within a few days! OK, Illustrator CS, I've never used you before, but are you ready to help me make 50 or 60 card-designs? I can see Illustrator CS spinning around and flourishing swatches, gradients, filters, brushes, and other toys to make my job as easy as possible.
It may sound so stupid, charging up more credit card debt to cover the costs of launching this business when we're already so close to real poverty. But I can't turn my back on this. I can't go up to yet another crappy office temp agency and beg them to find something to bore me with for 40 hours a week. I just can't. Some people are annoyed with me because I refuse to just buckle down and get a "real" job. Real boring, real draining, real far from anything I'd like to be doing. Fuck them. I was built without Puritan Sensibilities. I have a shitty Work Ethic. If I don't like what I'm doing, I'll actively try to do almost anything else. I have stories I could tell, about the art of Passing Time in a job you hate. I will, someday.
I've been thinking about doing that Wayback Meme. I don't think I'll pick a specific day, though. I couldn't give a fuck about the Judeo-Christian (Roman?) calendar. I think in moons and seasons, so it's more fitting for me to pick an entry from last Thaw and the Thaw before.
DAYS LATER, Saturday the 6th.
It's my first Aftereffects class, but I didn't prep one bit. Maybe I didn't want to be a show-off, maybe I just wanted to relax a little this week. I'm going to excell in both classes, but I'm leary of being seen as the Superstar right away. Lurk in the shadows, try to keep my brilliant plumage cloaked . . . for now. It's a bit embarrassing. Ugh, a written questionnaire. I've never had to do that before. This teacher reminds me of me. Not the most organized, but probably a smartypants at the program itself. I hope this class won't be as dull as the first class for Maya. It feels sneaky, writing a post while others are piddling around on their 'puters. I like having a laptop. Time to be seriously looking at TiBooks and Powerbooks.
A TiBook might be cheaper. As much as I drool at the 17" Powerbooks, I have to admit that $1500 is an awful lot of money. $3100 is an awful lot more. Besides, this iBook has a 15" screen. It's not as horrible as I thought. Eventually I'll have to get those two extra inches. Sounds silly, but I need all the space for palettes and such that I can possibly get.
I can't get over how cool I feel, tapping away at this keyboard while everybody else looks bored and fiddles with things.
MANY DAYS LATER, Wednesday the 17th
I've been sick for 3 or 4 days, but it feels like forever. And in that forever, no homework done, no Invitation business launched, no nuthin'. I feel like shit, emotionally. I know that whatever piece of crap I manage to model in the hour and a half I'll (maximally) have, it'll look like an hour and a half's worth of work, and not a full amount of attention. He'll be disappointed. The prof. He'll second-guess himself . . . maybe I wasn't to be the bright star of this class.
Feel a little better after sock-shopping. I finally have a reason to throw out old socks! Yay!
Thursday the 18th
Time to set some priorities. There's something I'm fundamentally NOT GETTING about this 3D shit. Maybe just because I don't have the time to toy with it that my classmates do. I haven't felt this stupid about a graphic program since my first months sweating over Photoshop. So here's the priorities, for the next few weeks:
1. Griffin & Owl. This is the reason we're taking ANY class, remember? So stop messing around and make the characters, dammit. It took me only an hour or two to do Griffin, last time around.
2. Launch Kitipe Invitations. I honestly was sick- but I should call the florist and explain what's up. If I blow this, I don't know when the next sweet opportunity like it would come along.
3. Do stuff for beetiger, because that'll pay a bill. A smaller one, but still a bill. I'll be an actual contributor to this household's income, at least a little bit.
4. If you have energy leftover, play with Maya, build a simple model. Don't sweat it: I'm not afraid of a low grade in this class.
5. Start swinging by Thayer St, the colleges, etc. Especially J & W, they have a campus in the neighborhood I want to live. You know Coyote is capable of helping you, but you have to spearhead this initiative.
6. Relax with EXERCISE, Mirabar, roleplaying, hanging with friends on Thursdays/Saturdays. Go to the zoo- you'll need pictures of the snow leopards, anyways. Roleplaying is for RELAX-time. If it's stressing you, just don't get back to them right away. Your fellow-rpg geeks can wait. Try to sneak in some hard exercise three times a week- you'll sleep better and handle all this with more panache. What's your middle name? Yeah.
I seriously contemplated dropping Maya last night. I don't get it, I feel dumb, I'm so bored of grey shapes . . . but this is a free ride. Why not take it? I didn't dedicate as much time to Director as I wanted to, when I was learning it, but I'm very grateful I took it and paid attention. Maybe it'll be impressive that I can model in Maya, and skin/animate a wee bit. Maybe they won't make me take this head-pounding 3D shit any more. I really want to be a 2D animator. What they did in Spirit? Tradigital? That's the shit I'd like to do. Let me focus on my 2D characters, let another team do amazing 3D grass & clouds & backgrounds. I hate thinking about backgrounds anyways.
The Maya teacher told us, right at the end of class, "You'll probably be redoing your first project many many times, from scratch." Fuck that. I really don't care if I get a C in this class. I'm going to do what I'm going to do. And I'm going to build my own polygons with triangles, because squares are ugly. Harumph. I'm going to focus on learning enough in this class so I can continue playing on my own. Help grandma move this weekend? I don't think I can. I don't think they can make it worth my while to waste 4 to 6 hours of homework time. Sorry, grandma, love you bunches. Maybe I can send Coyote in, instead.
I feel dumb. I don't understand this program. It's waaaaaaaaaayyyyyy too hard for me to wrap my head around it. I should find out how to drop it. I just feel like a retard. I haven't the slightest idea what I'm doing, and it's stressful and hard. Why give myself extra stress? Because mommy will be disappointed? Maybe I just shouldn't go to class anymore. I'm a lame-ass. It really is more than I can handle. I wish I was snuggling in the dark.
Sunday the 21st
I'm going to drop Maya tomorrow. I've never dropped a class before, but this is something I need to do. Already, I feel lighter, much less overwhelmed and frightened. friode pointed out that if I were to try to continue, and keep having a horrible time, I'd be far less likely to ever touch Maya again. This way, I can go back to doodling around on Maya when I feel like it. No ill will, and I'll do all the starting tutorials, and maybe download some new ones.
Today, I made the order form for Kitipe Invite. Later tonight, I hope to make designs and typography samples. Tomorrow, a few full cards, and then I bring the whole thing over to the flower shop and explain how it works. I think it'll work well, as soon as I find a reputable small potatoes printing press. Preferably local, but I'm not going to turn down a web-only possibility. As long as they send me a sample before they do the full batch!
Late Monday/early Tuesday, designs for beetiger. She's not talking about that openly, so I won't . . . but I like the idea. I don't have any idea if it's actually marketable or not . . . but I could express the same uncertainty about Kitipe Invite. Except that I don't share it. The invitation business is my idea, so OF COURSE it's going to work. Because, Gods know that every single business idea I ever implement is a roaring success. :)
I think I've been too impatient before. Not ready to put in the necessary herculaian effort and wait for the seed to grow. But this is zeitgeist. Somewhere or other (Canada, if nowhere nearer), marriages are happening, in a whole new demographic. And we who are in or are about to be in the marriage industry are waiting with our tongues hanging out. We can already taste those new revenues. We can see our reds turn black and our profits swell. I'm not aiming to be the foremost "gay" invitation-maker. I'm going to make invitations, and because of who I am and what my art is, my clientele will be people who are quirky, fantastical, into animals and magic and make-believe. If my fairies sell more than my kittens, do I care? Not a bit. People are people. New people are being considered as people for the first time. Maybe they'll want to buy invitations from me. Maybe they won't. But I believe that some people will, and whether those people call themselves straight, gay, bi, or none of the above- I couldn't care less. I hope to be an invitation maker for people who aren't looking for stuffy, conservative, traditional invitations for their weddings, parties, and other events. Their oreintation makes no difference to me.
TODAY, Tuesday the 23rd.
I think I forgot to mention: I have friends getting married next year who are interested in my Photography and Invitation skillz. Yay, clients that I don't get through a third party. My profit ceiling will be higher- well, it would if they weren't personal friends of mine. I end up lopping $5 and $10 off of my hourly rates for friends, bringing me down to not far above the cost of materials. But if they tell THEIR friends about me . . . I think it's a sound decision. Builds my portfolio, if nothing else.
And friends do all sorts of other cool things, like let me take pictures of their very young offspring without me having to pay them model fees. :) When I have a webhost, maybe I'll show off a few shots of the extremely cute projectmothra. Geez, who knows when I'll get around to talking about that- and it was my first vacation in months!
I got to play a lot with a preverbal kid, and found it more fun than I remembered. I got to spend a day romping around my Territory, and I had a ferocious adventure in the thorniest part of the woods. In the future, when I look up my mental map and find an area marked "Impassable", it doesn't mean "Impassable for an 18-year-old nitwit, very easy for a 28-year-old fierce womyn". It means "Impassable, unless you have a machete or at least a good pair of scissors on you". The scratches on my hands and legs are still not fully healed, but they're healing cleanly.
I found out when Culture Shock is. April 16 & 17! Ooo-de-lally! Bouncing Souls are playing on Friday! Should I cut two classes to stay for Saturday? I have to cut the May 1 class, I won't work on my holiest holiday. Tempting to go to a game in Virginia on May 14, too. Should I switch to the Thursday AE class? I have to drop Maya, anyway. I don't think so- if my weekends are free, I'll just fill them all up. I think I'll do Virginia next year, but Culture Shock is still mighty tempting.
Anyway, better end this and see what you're up to, then blow this popsicle stand. Lot to do today.
I'm updating from Cafe Zog, one of my favourite places to get breakfast in all of Providence. I'm in a cafe and on the web at the same time! I know my glee is several years too old, but- hey, it's been more than a decade since I've had a working laptop. This one's just borrowed. Oooh, I can do that mega-entry, directly!
I've been borrowing my mom's iBook sporadically since the beginning of the semester. As I feared, one of my classes was being taught in a PC lab. Boooo! Hisssssss! So not on for a lifelong member of Tribe Mac. iBook to the rescue!
Can't wait to get my own, now. Except it's those shiny new 17" Powerbooks that I'm batting my eyelashes at. Not this month. Maybe not 'til Fall or '05, but I will be going back to school with a shiny Powerbook in my backpack. And some sharpened pencils.
Anyway, get your scroll buttons ready, here's my thoughts for the last few weeks:
Hee, hee, hee! I'm up in a tree! After all those commercials showing people using their laptops in their backyard, I thought it was fitting to write my first laptop-LJ entry up a tree. I'm not very far up: I'm not stupid, and this IS a borrowed iBook. Still, it's cementing my desire to get a Powerbook. Then I could be up in a tree AND shiny. :)
Funny, I live only a mile away from this park, but the last time I was climbing this tree was around dawn, after a Games Night, and I was talking with this cool chickie named Ezra that I didn't really know. She kept bitchin' about a loser she was dating (or had recently broken up with) who considered watching porn to be adequate foreplay. I can't believe men that stupid are allowed to have sex.
Well, I'll have to continue this elsewhere, my alarm for picking-up-the-Coyote just went off.
Exciting news on the career front. I am continuing to see signs that my efforts to breathe new life into Kitipe Productions is more than a good idea . . . it's something that could be making me money within a few months. Still looking for a webhost. Need to get new versions of Dreamweaver and Flash so I can design, fine-tune, and launch the sites for Kitipe Invites and Kitipe Photography. But before I even think seriously about the web side, I have to make a sample book because I could have my first clients within a few days! OK, Illustrator CS, I've never used you before, but are you ready to help me make 50 or 60 card-designs? I can see Illustrator CS spinning around and flourishing swatches, gradients, filters, brushes, and other toys to make my job as easy as possible.
It may sound so stupid, charging up more credit card debt to cover the costs of launching this business when we're already so close to real poverty. But I can't turn my back on this. I can't go up to yet another crappy office temp agency and beg them to find something to bore me with for 40 hours a week. I just can't. Some people are annoyed with me because I refuse to just buckle down and get a "real" job. Real boring, real draining, real far from anything I'd like to be doing. Fuck them. I was built without Puritan Sensibilities. I have a shitty Work Ethic. If I don't like what I'm doing, I'll actively try to do almost anything else. I have stories I could tell, about the art of Passing Time in a job you hate. I will, someday.
I've been thinking about doing that Wayback Meme. I don't think I'll pick a specific day, though. I couldn't give a fuck about the Judeo-Christian (Roman?) calendar. I think in moons and seasons, so it's more fitting for me to pick an entry from last Thaw and the Thaw before.
DAYS LATER, Saturday the 6th.
It's my first Aftereffects class, but I didn't prep one bit. Maybe I didn't want to be a show-off, maybe I just wanted to relax a little this week. I'm going to excell in both classes, but I'm leary of being seen as the Superstar right away. Lurk in the shadows, try to keep my brilliant plumage cloaked . . . for now. It's a bit embarrassing. Ugh, a written questionnaire. I've never had to do that before. This teacher reminds me of me. Not the most organized, but probably a smartypants at the program itself. I hope this class won't be as dull as the first class for Maya. It feels sneaky, writing a post while others are piddling around on their 'puters. I like having a laptop. Time to be seriously looking at TiBooks and Powerbooks.
A TiBook might be cheaper. As much as I drool at the 17" Powerbooks, I have to admit that $1500 is an awful lot of money. $3100 is an awful lot more. Besides, this iBook has a 15" screen. It's not as horrible as I thought. Eventually I'll have to get those two extra inches. Sounds silly, but I need all the space for palettes and such that I can possibly get.
I can't get over how cool I feel, tapping away at this keyboard while everybody else looks bored and fiddles with things.
MANY DAYS LATER, Wednesday the 17th
I've been sick for 3 or 4 days, but it feels like forever. And in that forever, no homework done, no Invitation business launched, no nuthin'. I feel like shit, emotionally. I know that whatever piece of crap I manage to model in the hour and a half I'll (maximally) have, it'll look like an hour and a half's worth of work, and not a full amount of attention. He'll be disappointed. The prof. He'll second-guess himself . . . maybe I wasn't to be the bright star of this class.
Feel a little better after sock-shopping. I finally have a reason to throw out old socks! Yay!
Thursday the 18th
Time to set some priorities. There's something I'm fundamentally NOT GETTING about this 3D shit. Maybe just because I don't have the time to toy with it that my classmates do. I haven't felt this stupid about a graphic program since my first months sweating over Photoshop. So here's the priorities, for the next few weeks:
1. Griffin & Owl. This is the reason we're taking ANY class, remember? So stop messing around and make the characters, dammit. It took me only an hour or two to do Griffin, last time around.
2. Launch Kitipe Invitations. I honestly was sick- but I should call the florist and explain what's up. If I blow this, I don't know when the next sweet opportunity like it would come along.
3. Do stuff for beetiger, because that'll pay a bill. A smaller one, but still a bill. I'll be an actual contributor to this household's income, at least a little bit.
4. If you have energy leftover, play with Maya, build a simple model. Don't sweat it: I'm not afraid of a low grade in this class.
5. Start swinging by Thayer St, the colleges, etc. Especially J & W, they have a campus in the neighborhood I want to live. You know Coyote is capable of helping you, but you have to spearhead this initiative.
6. Relax with EXERCISE, Mirabar, roleplaying, hanging with friends on Thursdays/Saturdays. Go to the zoo- you'll need pictures of the snow leopards, anyways. Roleplaying is for RELAX-time. If it's stressing you, just don't get back to them right away. Your fellow-rpg geeks can wait. Try to sneak in some hard exercise three times a week- you'll sleep better and handle all this with more panache. What's your middle name? Yeah.
I seriously contemplated dropping Maya last night. I don't get it, I feel dumb, I'm so bored of grey shapes . . . but this is a free ride. Why not take it? I didn't dedicate as much time to Director as I wanted to, when I was learning it, but I'm very grateful I took it and paid attention. Maybe it'll be impressive that I can model in Maya, and skin/animate a wee bit. Maybe they won't make me take this head-pounding 3D shit any more. I really want to be a 2D animator. What they did in Spirit? Tradigital? That's the shit I'd like to do. Let me focus on my 2D characters, let another team do amazing 3D grass & clouds & backgrounds. I hate thinking about backgrounds anyways.
The Maya teacher told us, right at the end of class, "You'll probably be redoing your first project many many times, from scratch." Fuck that. I really don't care if I get a C in this class. I'm going to do what I'm going to do. And I'm going to build my own polygons with triangles, because squares are ugly. Harumph. I'm going to focus on learning enough in this class so I can continue playing on my own. Help grandma move this weekend? I don't think I can. I don't think they can make it worth my while to waste 4 to 6 hours of homework time. Sorry, grandma, love you bunches. Maybe I can send Coyote in, instead.
I feel dumb. I don't understand this program. It's waaaaaaaaaayyyyyy too hard for me to wrap my head around it. I should find out how to drop it. I just feel like a retard. I haven't the slightest idea what I'm doing, and it's stressful and hard. Why give myself extra stress? Because mommy will be disappointed? Maybe I just shouldn't go to class anymore. I'm a lame-ass. It really is more than I can handle. I wish I was snuggling in the dark.
Sunday the 21st
I'm going to drop Maya tomorrow. I've never dropped a class before, but this is something I need to do. Already, I feel lighter, much less overwhelmed and frightened. friode pointed out that if I were to try to continue, and keep having a horrible time, I'd be far less likely to ever touch Maya again. This way, I can go back to doodling around on Maya when I feel like it. No ill will, and I'll do all the starting tutorials, and maybe download some new ones.
Today, I made the order form for Kitipe Invite. Later tonight, I hope to make designs and typography samples. Tomorrow, a few full cards, and then I bring the whole thing over to the flower shop and explain how it works. I think it'll work well, as soon as I find a reputable small potatoes printing press. Preferably local, but I'm not going to turn down a web-only possibility. As long as they send me a sample before they do the full batch!
Late Monday/early Tuesday, designs for beetiger. She's not talking about that openly, so I won't . . . but I like the idea. I don't have any idea if it's actually marketable or not . . . but I could express the same uncertainty about Kitipe Invite. Except that I don't share it. The invitation business is my idea, so OF COURSE it's going to work. Because, Gods know that every single business idea I ever implement is a roaring success. :)
I think I've been too impatient before. Not ready to put in the necessary herculaian effort and wait for the seed to grow. But this is zeitgeist. Somewhere or other (Canada, if nowhere nearer), marriages are happening, in a whole new demographic. And we who are in or are about to be in the marriage industry are waiting with our tongues hanging out. We can already taste those new revenues. We can see our reds turn black and our profits swell. I'm not aiming to be the foremost "gay" invitation-maker. I'm going to make invitations, and because of who I am and what my art is, my clientele will be people who are quirky, fantastical, into animals and magic and make-believe. If my fairies sell more than my kittens, do I care? Not a bit. People are people. New people are being considered as people for the first time. Maybe they'll want to buy invitations from me. Maybe they won't. But I believe that some people will, and whether those people call themselves straight, gay, bi, or none of the above- I couldn't care less. I hope to be an invitation maker for people who aren't looking for stuffy, conservative, traditional invitations for their weddings, parties, and other events. Their oreintation makes no difference to me.
TODAY, Tuesday the 23rd.
I think I forgot to mention: I have friends getting married next year who are interested in my Photography and Invitation skillz. Yay, clients that I don't get through a third party. My profit ceiling will be higher- well, it would if they weren't personal friends of mine. I end up lopping $5 and $10 off of my hourly rates for friends, bringing me down to not far above the cost of materials. But if they tell THEIR friends about me . . . I think it's a sound decision. Builds my portfolio, if nothing else.
And friends do all sorts of other cool things, like let me take pictures of their very young offspring without me having to pay them model fees. :) When I have a webhost, maybe I'll show off a few shots of the extremely cute projectmothra. Geez, who knows when I'll get around to talking about that- and it was my first vacation in months!
I got to play a lot with a preverbal kid, and found it more fun than I remembered. I got to spend a day romping around my Territory, and I had a ferocious adventure in the thorniest part of the woods. In the future, when I look up my mental map and find an area marked "Impassable", it doesn't mean "Impassable for an 18-year-old nitwit, very easy for a 28-year-old fierce womyn". It means "Impassable, unless you have a machete or at least a good pair of scissors on you". The scratches on my hands and legs are still not fully healed, but they're healing cleanly.
I found out when Culture Shock is. April 16 & 17! Ooo-de-lally! Bouncing Souls are playing on Friday! Should I cut two classes to stay for Saturday? I have to cut the May 1 class, I won't work on my holiest holiday. Tempting to go to a game in Virginia on May 14, too. Should I switch to the Thursday AE class? I have to drop Maya, anyway. I don't think so- if my weekends are free, I'll just fill them all up. I think I'll do Virginia next year, but Culture Shock is still mighty tempting.
Anyway, better end this and see what you're up to, then blow this popsicle stand. Lot to do today.