I Pallindrome I
I am balanced again. It feels nice. I'm off the zany high I've been on for the last several months, but creativity is flowing out of me with the ease of an eagle's flight. I can say so, because I've seen one recently. Anyway, it's focused now. So stuff is getting done: and the results are swift and pleasing.
I just sat through a movie which was slow-paced and achingly beautiful . . . colour was a main character! And my thoughts didn't stray to the thought-knots I'm nibbling on. I've started being able to read again, too. Just a little bit, but it feels nice, anyway.
I have decided that being the boss of me is the best career I've ever had. I will do whatever it takes to keep being a business owner. Who knows, maybe someday I'll make a five-figure salary selling a nifty service or product! Doing this feels like I'm finally doing something right. All that time I felt bad because I couldn't get the 40 hour a week job and I wasn't trying very hard because I knew I'd be miserable doing mindless office drone stuff for 40 whole hours a week. And I ended up being right: this is what makes me happy. Like all business owners, I put in far more than 40 hours a week. But it's my time, I go in when I feel creative and leave when I feel finished for the day. No sick days or vacation days to save up for. Just me to say when I deserve a break.
Since doing this new thing makes me so happy, I decided today that I'm going to stay pretty mellow. That is, I'm going to stop the crazy roller coaster ride that was my post-adolescent life (minus College, of course). I'm going to stay balanced for the most part, but allow myself to dip and rise naturally, the way most people seem to. I'm going to stay blissful as my baseline, and only waver to the extremes of recent years when dire or exuberant events happen. Postmodernist doctrine states that you can remake your personal universe at any time: this is my decision, and I'm sticking by it.
I can't believe they don't have balanced or zen as one of LJ's moods! 130 is simply not enough. I wonder if I'll be able to add more when I get a paid account. I know I'll get to design my own mood indicator animated gifs, and I already have a great idea for what they ought to be. And I'll keep 'em private, so no one else can ever use 'em!!!
I just sat through a movie which was slow-paced and achingly beautiful . . . colour was a main character! And my thoughts didn't stray to the thought-knots I'm nibbling on. I've started being able to read again, too. Just a little bit, but it feels nice, anyway.
I have decided that being the boss of me is the best career I've ever had. I will do whatever it takes to keep being a business owner. Who knows, maybe someday I'll make a five-figure salary selling a nifty service or product! Doing this feels like I'm finally doing something right. All that time I felt bad because I couldn't get the 40 hour a week job and I wasn't trying very hard because I knew I'd be miserable doing mindless office drone stuff for 40 whole hours a week. And I ended up being right: this is what makes me happy. Like all business owners, I put in far more than 40 hours a week. But it's my time, I go in when I feel creative and leave when I feel finished for the day. No sick days or vacation days to save up for. Just me to say when I deserve a break.
Since doing this new thing makes me so happy, I decided today that I'm going to stay pretty mellow. That is, I'm going to stop the crazy roller coaster ride that was my post-adolescent life (minus College, of course). I'm going to stay balanced for the most part, but allow myself to dip and rise naturally, the way most people seem to. I'm going to stay blissful as my baseline, and only waver to the extremes of recent years when dire or exuberant events happen. Postmodernist doctrine states that you can remake your personal universe at any time: this is my decision, and I'm sticking by it.
I can't believe they don't have balanced or zen as one of LJ's moods! 130 is simply not enough. I wonder if I'll be able to add more when I get a paid account. I know I'll get to design my own mood indicator animated gifs, and I already have a great idea for what they ought to be. And I'll keep 'em private, so no one else can ever use 'em!!!