EerieIN.com at the Wayback Machine
If you've ever seen the Eerie Indiana tie-in books, you might have noticed the website advertised in the back pages: EerieIN.com
Surprising nobody, twenty years later this website no longer exists. However, parts of it are archived at the WayBack Machine.
Sadly, the snapshots from 1999 just show a white page with a parent directory, so we'll never get to see what frames-and-flash masterpiece was originally used to promote Eerie.
However, in 2001 an Eerie Indiana fan named MariaC bought the domain and turned it into the Eerie Examiner:
SEWER MONSTER SUFFERS INDIGESTION
Copywrite 2000 Maria C. and Eeriein.com
This past week, reports have been flooding in from all over Eerie of a variety of disturbances - most commonly strange noises and tremors which seem to originate from deep underground. Worried citizens have been calling the police department with such reports, demanding to know what is happening.
The Eerie Examiner got in contact two days ago in with Eerie officials concerning the odd goings on, in a bid to keep the people informed. It transpired that these occurrences are environmental in nature and, indeed, are of subterranean origin. We were also told that there is no immediate cause for concern.
The Examiner asked Professor E. Gore, a talented environmental biologist, if he would explain to our readership what is happening:
"Since its very beginnings as a town centuries ago, Eerie has been living in a unique symbiosis with an organism known to exist in no other part of the world. This creature currently resides underground and lives off the household waste generated by the community, thereby keeping this town clean and free from rubbish and other refuse, in return for a constant supply of food and a safe existence beneath the streets of Eerie.
"This happy relationship between the town and the creature has up until now been extrs up until now been extremely uneventful. However, recently the townsfolk have angered it."
Angered it? I asked the Professor how this happened, and what could be done.
"I cannot be sure why it is angry and, until that has been established, I cannot suggest an appropriate course of action. But I am quite sure about one thing: unless we do something soon, the creature will continue to become more and more restless and may even cause some damage. Eventually it may rise up from its underground lair and cause untold chaos before leaving Eerie altogether. When the town finally recovers from this, we will be left without any way of getting rid of our trash - Eerie is completely dependant on the creature for all its domestic waste disposal."
Yesterday, an emergency meeting was called between prominent citizens of Eerie in order to establish the risks and find a possible solution. The mayor of Eerie, Mr Chisel, the proprietor of the World O' Stuff, Mr Radford, Mr E. Presely and Mr Chaney met with Professor E. Gore to discuss the present situation. The Examiner was invited to attend the assemblage at the World O' Stuff which took place in the very early hours of the morning, before the store opened.
Professor E. Gore had time the day before the meeting to gather more information on the creature from Eerie records, and was able to trace the disturbances backce the disturbances back to a particular point. At the meeting, he shared his findings with the rest of those concerned:
"The creature is said to be very large, estimated to be around 50 feet across. Of course, this may not be entirely accurate. The records go back a long time… in fact, it is entirely possible that it has grown since then. It is also documented that it is octopus-like in appearance, only with more tentacles, and that it is pale blue in colour. That, and that it feeds off household waste, is all I can find out at such short notice. I have also been able to trace the seismic activity caused by the creature's movements using earthquake equipment from Eerie University. It seems that the tremors originate from manhole #666, right at the geographical centre of Eerie."
Mr Chisel was understandably worried:
"50 feet? Is that with tentacles?"
"Oh, no. That's just the body. The tentacles are much longer."
Mr Chisel, always concerned for the well-being of his town, felt the following questions needed to be asked:
"So, if this monster was to come up into Eerie, it would probably do a lot of damage?"
"Incalculable damage. And of course, afterwards, Eerie would have no means of disposing of its garbage."
"But that would mean having to rebuild the town! With a sewage system! And waste disposal! The taxes would havesal! The taxes would have to go up… I might not get re-elected!"
by this time, Mayor Chisel was a desperate man.
"We have to do something! Why is it angry? What does it want? Money? Human sacrifice? Chaney! Come on, lets see what we can do for Mr Sewer Monster, sir."
The Professor tried to calm things:
"Now, Mayor. Lets remain calm. There's no need for any of that. I think it's just a question of diet."
"What, like food, you mean?" said Mr Presely
"Sort of. The creature eats all the usual stuff that families throw out. That's where the trucks take it all, to the big fenced-off pit on the outskirts of Eerie. It reaches the creature by that route. I think people have been putting things they shouldn't be in their bins. Stuff that needs special disposal, or incineration."
"But I thought that people threw out all kinds of junk they aren't meant to all the time…"
said Mr Radford.
"Yes, they do. The creature can tolerate certain amounts, but recently, people must have been doing it more than usual."
The meeting was adjourned so that Professor E. Gore could do some more research, and so that Mayor Chisel could go and have a lie down.
The Eerie Examiner took to the streets of Eerie in the hope of gaining an insight into public opinion, and maybe to find out a bit more about what has been going on. I came across one very worried looking local, busy boarding up the windows of his house. His family and belongings were waiting in the car with the engine running. When asked what he was doing, he replied:
"I'm getting out of here! Haven't you heard? The monster is angry! I'm getting away before it starts running loose… didn't you ever see Godzilla?
The Examiner felt it had to point out that the whole Godzilla incident occurred under different circumstances, but he had jumped into his car and was gone in a screech of tyres before anything else could be said. Just then another tremor shook the ground. After what Prof. E. Gore had said, the hospital was my next stop.
I spoke to the care taker at the Eerie Hospital about the policy regarding waste disposal:
"Well, usually, all the hazardous stuff gets put in the big incinerator,"
He told me, indicating a large chimney across the yard:
"Stuff like needles, swabs, operation left-over bits, unused medicine, tubing, anything infected… all those kinds of things. But sometimes, it's easier to just stick it in the bin with all the reg'lar trash, you know? Instead of stoking up the incinerator. I mean, I don't suppose it makes any difference. The monster eats anything, right?"
The Eerie Examiner felt it had found at least one cause for the Sewer one cause for the Sewer Monster's wrath. I thanked the care-taker, but advised him to get the incinerator fired up.
By early afternoon, the tremors were getting stronger and stronger. In the absence of Professor E. Gore, the Examiner decided to forgo all thoughts of personal safety and to take up station near manhole #666, in case the creature decided to make itself seen. However, as soon as I got there, it turned out that someone else had had that same idea.
I approached the small figure keeping guard over the manhole from behind a dumpster. The grey-haired young man was holding a camera and eyeing me suspiciously. I asked him if he was looking for the Sewer Monster.
"Yeah. Manhole #666, right? Well, this baby's mine, so if your thinking of getting pictures of it, you'd better think again."
Ignoring the threat, I told him I was with the Eerie Examiner and wanted to know how he knew that it's lair was located under manhole #666:
"Look, I don't talk to the press, OK? Unless you'd be interested in buying the exclusive pictures of the Sewer Monster I'm about to take… I bet Werd TV would pay big bucks for a photo of this octopus thing."
He said, grinning evilly and nodding in the direction of the manhole cover.
Just then another shock wave struck. The biggest one yet, it dislodged several bits from the nearby buildings. Mr Radford of the nearby World O' Stuff ran up accompanied by Prof. E. Gore and two more kids.
"It's just a matter of time!"
Yelled the Professor.
"We have to appease it, but I still don't know how!"
He shouted as he ran up. The smaller of the two kids with him addressed the strange photographer I'd just been talking to:
"Hey! What are you doing here?!"
It seemed that Mr Radford was also anxious to have a word with him:
"Hey! That's my camera! That went missing from my store this morning!"
Just before anyone could perform any acts of violence, a terrible noise came up from the metal cover in the middle of the quiet street. Everybody understood that now was not the time for settling scores. The older of the boys, one Marshall Teller, spoke up:
"Simon and me traced the earth quakes on a map of Eerie, right to this spot. And we think we know how to stop the monster from destroying Eerie!"
The younger one evidently called Simon handed an extremely ancient book over to Prof. E. Gore:
"We got it from the library,"
He said
"It tells you about the monster and how it should be fed!"
This was probably incredibly lucky, considering the rumbles coming up from under the street were getting more and more frequent.
"People have been feeding it the wrong stuff by throwing out all kinds of junk. Me and Simon went over to the pit this morning, you know what we found? Car batteries, old medicines - even half a bag of quick lime!"
As another subterranean blast shook the street, Prof. E. Gore made a decision:
"That one must have been the quick lime. It says here that to soothe the creature when it has indigestion - and I suppose this can probably be classed as indigestion - to feed it lots of normal stuff, like newspapers, peelings, wrapping…"
"I've got a load of that kind of thing out back at the World O' Stuff. We'd better get moving."
Suggested Mr Radford
"And you're coming too. And when you've helped us get out of this, you can give the camera back and I might not tell the sheriff."
He said, addressing the grey-haired kid who was in the process of sidling off towards a nearby narrow alley as nonchalantly as he dared. It turned out he had been lurking in the many shadows at the World O' Stuff that morning as we discussed the Sewer Monster situation. Seeing the potential for making some easy money, he 'borrowed' the camera. Certainly shows initiative.
An hour later, all the normal rubbish we could find had been thrown down the gaping abyss of the Monsters feeding pit, where questing tentacles will have come across the bounty and dragged it back toy and dragged it back to the lair underneath the cover of manhole #666.
Thus Eerie was put out of immediate danger, and Mayor Chisel saved from the prospect of not being re-elected. The mayor was unable to comment following the events, as he was still suffering from nervous exhaustion at the time of going to press.
Eerie citizens will be glad to know that the remaining tremors will get fainter as the Sewer Monster recovers from what must have been a very upset stomach. Tighter controls are now in operation and all garbage entering the pit is screened beforehand. Better facilities are in place for the disposal of dangerous materials, e.g. batteries, chemicals, fertilisers, medicines, etc. and the hospital has pledged to in future incinerate all hazardous refuse.
Readers of the Eerie Examiner are asked to bear the past week's events in mind when about to bin any item considered dangerous to the Sewer Monster's health. Look after the creature, and it will continue to look after us by providing us with cheap and clean garbage disposal, keeping our town safe and wholesome - the pride and envy of all Indiana.
By Maria. Head reporter for The Eerie Examiner.
Surprising nobody, twenty years later this website no longer exists. However, parts of it are archived at the WayBack Machine.
Sadly, the snapshots from 1999 just show a white page with a parent directory, so we'll never get to see what frames-and-flash masterpiece was originally used to promote Eerie.
However, in 2001 an Eerie Indiana fan named MariaC bought the domain and turned it into the Eerie Examiner:
SEWER MONSTER SUFFERS INDIGESTION
Copywrite 2000 Maria C. and Eeriein.com
This past week, reports have been flooding in from all over Eerie of a variety of disturbances - most commonly strange noises and tremors which seem to originate from deep underground. Worried citizens have been calling the police department with such reports, demanding to know what is happening.
The Eerie Examiner got in contact two days ago in with Eerie officials concerning the odd goings on, in a bid to keep the people informed. It transpired that these occurrences are environmental in nature and, indeed, are of subterranean origin. We were also told that there is no immediate cause for concern.
The Examiner asked Professor E. Gore, a talented environmental biologist, if he would explain to our readership what is happening:
"Since its very beginnings as a town centuries ago, Eerie has been living in a unique symbiosis with an organism known to exist in no other part of the world. This creature currently resides underground and lives off the household waste generated by the community, thereby keeping this town clean and free from rubbish and other refuse, in return for a constant supply of food and a safe existence beneath the streets of Eerie.
"This happy relationship between the town and the creature has up until now been extrs up until now been extremely uneventful. However, recently the townsfolk have angered it."
Angered it? I asked the Professor how this happened, and what could be done.
"I cannot be sure why it is angry and, until that has been established, I cannot suggest an appropriate course of action. But I am quite sure about one thing: unless we do something soon, the creature will continue to become more and more restless and may even cause some damage. Eventually it may rise up from its underground lair and cause untold chaos before leaving Eerie altogether. When the town finally recovers from this, we will be left without any way of getting rid of our trash - Eerie is completely dependant on the creature for all its domestic waste disposal."
Yesterday, an emergency meeting was called between prominent citizens of Eerie in order to establish the risks and find a possible solution. The mayor of Eerie, Mr Chisel, the proprietor of the World O' Stuff, Mr Radford, Mr E. Presely and Mr Chaney met with Professor E. Gore to discuss the present situation. The Examiner was invited to attend the assemblage at the World O' Stuff which took place in the very early hours of the morning, before the store opened.
Professor E. Gore had time the day before the meeting to gather more information on the creature from Eerie records, and was able to trace the disturbances backce the disturbances back to a particular point. At the meeting, he shared his findings with the rest of those concerned:
"The creature is said to be very large, estimated to be around 50 feet across. Of course, this may not be entirely accurate. The records go back a long time… in fact, it is entirely possible that it has grown since then. It is also documented that it is octopus-like in appearance, only with more tentacles, and that it is pale blue in colour. That, and that it feeds off household waste, is all I can find out at such short notice. I have also been able to trace the seismic activity caused by the creature's movements using earthquake equipment from Eerie University. It seems that the tremors originate from manhole #666, right at the geographical centre of Eerie."
Mr Chisel was understandably worried:
"50 feet? Is that with tentacles?"
"Oh, no. That's just the body. The tentacles are much longer."
Mr Chisel, always concerned for the well-being of his town, felt the following questions needed to be asked:
"So, if this monster was to come up into Eerie, it would probably do a lot of damage?"
"Incalculable damage. And of course, afterwards, Eerie would have no means of disposing of its garbage."
"But that would mean having to rebuild the town! With a sewage system! And waste disposal! The taxes would havesal! The taxes would have to go up… I might not get re-elected!"
by this time, Mayor Chisel was a desperate man.
"We have to do something! Why is it angry? What does it want? Money? Human sacrifice? Chaney! Come on, lets see what we can do for Mr Sewer Monster, sir."
The Professor tried to calm things:
"Now, Mayor. Lets remain calm. There's no need for any of that. I think it's just a question of diet."
"What, like food, you mean?" said Mr Presely
"Sort of. The creature eats all the usual stuff that families throw out. That's where the trucks take it all, to the big fenced-off pit on the outskirts of Eerie. It reaches the creature by that route. I think people have been putting things they shouldn't be in their bins. Stuff that needs special disposal, or incineration."
"But I thought that people threw out all kinds of junk they aren't meant to all the time…"
said Mr Radford.
"Yes, they do. The creature can tolerate certain amounts, but recently, people must have been doing it more than usual."
The meeting was adjourned so that Professor E. Gore could do some more research, and so that Mayor Chisel could go and have a lie down.
The Eerie Examiner took to the streets of Eerie in the hope of gaining an insight into public opinion, and maybe to find out a bit more about what has been going on. I came across one very worried looking local, busy boarding up the windows of his house. His family and belongings were waiting in the car with the engine running. When asked what he was doing, he replied:
"I'm getting out of here! Haven't you heard? The monster is angry! I'm getting away before it starts running loose… didn't you ever see Godzilla?
The Examiner felt it had to point out that the whole Godzilla incident occurred under different circumstances, but he had jumped into his car and was gone in a screech of tyres before anything else could be said. Just then another tremor shook the ground. After what Prof. E. Gore had said, the hospital was my next stop.
I spoke to the care taker at the Eerie Hospital about the policy regarding waste disposal:
"Well, usually, all the hazardous stuff gets put in the big incinerator,"
He told me, indicating a large chimney across the yard:
"Stuff like needles, swabs, operation left-over bits, unused medicine, tubing, anything infected… all those kinds of things. But sometimes, it's easier to just stick it in the bin with all the reg'lar trash, you know? Instead of stoking up the incinerator. I mean, I don't suppose it makes any difference. The monster eats anything, right?"
The Eerie Examiner felt it had found at least one cause for the Sewer one cause for the Sewer Monster's wrath. I thanked the care-taker, but advised him to get the incinerator fired up.
By early afternoon, the tremors were getting stronger and stronger. In the absence of Professor E. Gore, the Examiner decided to forgo all thoughts of personal safety and to take up station near manhole #666, in case the creature decided to make itself seen. However, as soon as I got there, it turned out that someone else had had that same idea.
I approached the small figure keeping guard over the manhole from behind a dumpster. The grey-haired young man was holding a camera and eyeing me suspiciously. I asked him if he was looking for the Sewer Monster.
"Yeah. Manhole #666, right? Well, this baby's mine, so if your thinking of getting pictures of it, you'd better think again."
Ignoring the threat, I told him I was with the Eerie Examiner and wanted to know how he knew that it's lair was located under manhole #666:
"Look, I don't talk to the press, OK? Unless you'd be interested in buying the exclusive pictures of the Sewer Monster I'm about to take… I bet Werd TV would pay big bucks for a photo of this octopus thing."
He said, grinning evilly and nodding in the direction of the manhole cover.
Just then another shock wave struck. The biggest one yet, it dislodged several bits from the nearby buildings. Mr Radford of the nearby World O' Stuff ran up accompanied by Prof. E. Gore and two more kids.
"It's just a matter of time!"
Yelled the Professor.
"We have to appease it, but I still don't know how!"
He shouted as he ran up. The smaller of the two kids with him addressed the strange photographer I'd just been talking to:
"Hey! What are you doing here?!"
It seemed that Mr Radford was also anxious to have a word with him:
"Hey! That's my camera! That went missing from my store this morning!"
Just before anyone could perform any acts of violence, a terrible noise came up from the metal cover in the middle of the quiet street. Everybody understood that now was not the time for settling scores. The older of the boys, one Marshall Teller, spoke up:
"Simon and me traced the earth quakes on a map of Eerie, right to this spot. And we think we know how to stop the monster from destroying Eerie!"
The younger one evidently called Simon handed an extremely ancient book over to Prof. E. Gore:
"We got it from the library,"
He said
"It tells you about the monster and how it should be fed!"
This was probably incredibly lucky, considering the rumbles coming up from under the street were getting more and more frequent.
"People have been feeding it the wrong stuff by throwing out all kinds of junk. Me and Simon went over to the pit this morning, you know what we found? Car batteries, old medicines - even half a bag of quick lime!"
As another subterranean blast shook the street, Prof. E. Gore made a decision:
"That one must have been the quick lime. It says here that to soothe the creature when it has indigestion - and I suppose this can probably be classed as indigestion - to feed it lots of normal stuff, like newspapers, peelings, wrapping…"
"I've got a load of that kind of thing out back at the World O' Stuff. We'd better get moving."
Suggested Mr Radford
"And you're coming too. And when you've helped us get out of this, you can give the camera back and I might not tell the sheriff."
He said, addressing the grey-haired kid who was in the process of sidling off towards a nearby narrow alley as nonchalantly as he dared. It turned out he had been lurking in the many shadows at the World O' Stuff that morning as we discussed the Sewer Monster situation. Seeing the potential for making some easy money, he 'borrowed' the camera. Certainly shows initiative.
An hour later, all the normal rubbish we could find had been thrown down the gaping abyss of the Monsters feeding pit, where questing tentacles will have come across the bounty and dragged it back toy and dragged it back to the lair underneath the cover of manhole #666.
Thus Eerie was put out of immediate danger, and Mayor Chisel saved from the prospect of not being re-elected. The mayor was unable to comment following the events, as he was still suffering from nervous exhaustion at the time of going to press.
Eerie citizens will be glad to know that the remaining tremors will get fainter as the Sewer Monster recovers from what must have been a very upset stomach. Tighter controls are now in operation and all garbage entering the pit is screened beforehand. Better facilities are in place for the disposal of dangerous materials, e.g. batteries, chemicals, fertilisers, medicines, etc. and the hospital has pledged to in future incinerate all hazardous refuse.
Readers of the Eerie Examiner are asked to bear the past week's events in mind when about to bin any item considered dangerous to the Sewer Monster's health. Look after the creature, and it will continue to look after us by providing us with cheap and clean garbage disposal, keeping our town safe and wholesome - the pride and envy of all Indiana.
By Maria. Head reporter for The Eerie Examiner.