EerieIN.com at the Wayback Machine
If you've ever seen the Eerie Indiana tie-in books, you might have noticed the website advertised in the back pages: EerieIN.com
Surprising nobody, twenty years later this website no longer exists. However, parts of it are archived at the WayBack Machine.
Sadly, the snapshots from 1999 just show a white page with a parent directory, so we'll never get to see what frames-and-flash masterpiece was originally used to promote Eerie.
However, in 2001 an Eerie Indiana fan named MariaC bought the domain and turned it into the Eerie Examiner:
BROTHERHOOD LOOKS FOR MEMBERS IN EERIE
Written by: Maria C.
Copyright 2000 Maria C. and eeriein.com
This week will see the beginning of the recruiting season for Eerie based religion, the Brotherhood of Norm. The Brotherhood established itself 70 years ago, in Eerie, Indiana and believes in the worship of normality and order for the purpose of achieving enlightenment. This religion has an ideal home in Eerie, the town being, statistically, the most normal in the world.
The Eerie Examiner spoke to the Reverend John Smith, the leader of the Brotherhood of Norm, about his religion and beliefs:
"Well, my child, in our order, we pursue and venerate the average. Logic and normality are what we are put on this planet to seek. You may have noticed that the Earth is a messy, chaotic place, full of disorder and strange, inexplicable happenings. We want to fight this, using our will to make the world a more uniform place, and our souls more homogeneous as a result. Only then can we be perfect."
We wanted to know more, so we asked him to tell us about the recruiting season and what being a member of the fraternity could mean to the average (and is there any other kind?) Eerie citizen:
"Every seven years, we welcome new members into our brotherhood, provided, of course, that they prove suitable candidates.
The novices are taken into our society and tutored in the art of normality. As they progress up through the ranks of the order, they are taken to higher levels of understanding of the average and become increasingly holy as a result. We feel that in Eerie, there is much suitable 'raw material' for us to work with. Allow me to show you some figures."
After he'd finished showing his various charts and graphs proving that Eerie and its citizens are as normal as they come, we felt it was our duty to ask Rev. Smith, how can someone go about applying for entry into the Brotherhood, and how would they "prove a suitable candidate"?
"If one were interested in entering our fraternity, they could come along to our house at the appointed time, bringing with them $666 - purely for administration purposes, you understand. Running a religion is not cheap, and the costs of recruiting are high.
"Each potential member should also bring a small sacrifice. Say, a goat, or something.
"Then, the applicants are put through a series of tests, to ensure that they are not too strange to be a Brother of Norm. As I have already made clear, strange is not welcome.
"The remaining applicants are then enrolled on a provisional basis and put through a number of initiation trials. Those who succeed are welcomed into our sect as novices."
What do the initiation trials consist of?
"Ah, that is top secret. No outsider can know."
Do many people fail the initiation trials?
"Sadly, yes. Our brotherhood is very elite. Only the most normal may be admitted. I'm afraid that not many people make the grade, as it were. To be a Brother of Norm, one must be average in the extreme, learned, and handy with a knife - for the sacrifices."
What do you say to those who accuse the Brotherhood of being a cult?
"A cult?! Goodness, no! Cults are for fanatic weirdoes! Strange, unlawful things go on in cults. We are a legitimate religious denomination, free from the strange and mysterious practices of cults."
We at the Eerie Examiner decided to contact those who had failed the initiation tests, to find out what we could about them.
Looking at the recruitment records from seven years ago, it aspired that twelve people did
not pass the trials. However, not one of those people was present in Eerie today. We tried to speak to the families of those people, but they all refused to comment.
Presuming them to be in Spain, we spoke instead to the town's mayor, Mr Chisel, to ask his opinion on Eerie's own religious sect:
"The Brotherhood of Norm? Well, I guess they're harmless enough. Of course, I'm fully in favour of what they do for the town itself, keeping it town itself, keeping it nice and normal. Lots of our citizens want to be in that… what do you call it?…cult?"
I didn't think they'd like to hear it called that. "Cults are for weirdoes", after all. It's a "legitimate religious denomination", I informed him.
"Yeah, well, whatever. Lots of people in Eerie want to join. If that means they have to live nice, clean lives, then I'm all in favour, of course."
So, it would seem that all those who wish to lead an existence dedicated to purging the world of chaos and unpredictability need look no further that number 13 Driew Hill, Eerie, where the Brotherhood has it's house. It is in the grounds of the house that any potential member can pick up a prospectus and make an appointment to undertake the initial tests. It must be stressed that all applicants have to pay the $666 administration fee and bring a suitable sacrifice, as outlined by the Reverend Smith earlier, when they attend their appointment.
As the Eerie Examiner is a paper for the people, by the people, we decided to take an opinion poll and ask some townsfolk what they thought about the religion. We stood outside the World O' Stuff for a whole Saturday, stopping passers-by to ask them to tick a box. Of the few who would stop and find out what we wanted,
45% of Eerie citizens polled were "very interested" in becoming a member of the sect ana member of the sect and were already looking at the price of blue robes - the Brotherhood's uniform - and in the process of buying a goat.
30% of those questioned thought they'd "like to know more about the religion with the possibility of joining"
24% "cannot join the Brotherhood of Norm for various reasons" which are outlined below
45% of the above cannot leave work to join a religious order.
28% of the above cannot leave their families to join a religious order.
27% of the above cannot afford the $666 + sacrifice + robes cost of joining
3% of the people we asked "are not interested in joining the Brotherhood of norm".
Of this three percent, one was a certain Mr M. Teller, who made his opinions quite clear:
"I'm not joining some weird cult!"
We were about to point out that, according to Rev. Smith, it's a legitimate religious denomination, but he went on before we could make the distinction. Our apologies to Rev. Smith.
"They want to make everyone the same and use really bizarre ways of doing it! And what happened to those who didn't make it past the initiation tests last time?! No way, I'm not having anything to do with it!"
His small friend was of much the same opinion.
However, there were plenty of people who felt differently. Mrs D. Stanson and her husband had just emerged from the World O' Stuff, , carrying an unidentifiable creature recently bought from the new Unusual Pets department of the store. We stopped the couple to ask what they thought:
"Oh, I can't wait to make an appointment!"
Said Mrs Stanson
"I really hope my husband and I are good enough! In fact, we we've been shopping for a small blood sacrifice. The farm near where we live is fresh out of goats, so we may have to go out of town."
With that they hurried off in search of a suitable quadruped.
The recruiting season is open until the end of next month, and anyone is welcome to apply. For more information, go along to 13 Driew Hill between the hours of 9am and 6pm to obtain some of the Brotherhood's literature and perhaps take the opportunity
to talk to the brothers in attendance.
Surprising nobody, twenty years later this website no longer exists. However, parts of it are archived at the WayBack Machine.
Sadly, the snapshots from 1999 just show a white page with a parent directory, so we'll never get to see what frames-and-flash masterpiece was originally used to promote Eerie.
However, in 2001 an Eerie Indiana fan named MariaC bought the domain and turned it into the Eerie Examiner:
BROTHERHOOD LOOKS FOR MEMBERS IN EERIE
Written by: Maria C.
Copyright 2000 Maria C. and eeriein.com
This week will see the beginning of the recruiting season for Eerie based religion, the Brotherhood of Norm. The Brotherhood established itself 70 years ago, in Eerie, Indiana and believes in the worship of normality and order for the purpose of achieving enlightenment. This religion has an ideal home in Eerie, the town being, statistically, the most normal in the world.
The Eerie Examiner spoke to the Reverend John Smith, the leader of the Brotherhood of Norm, about his religion and beliefs:
"Well, my child, in our order, we pursue and venerate the average. Logic and normality are what we are put on this planet to seek. You may have noticed that the Earth is a messy, chaotic place, full of disorder and strange, inexplicable happenings. We want to fight this, using our will to make the world a more uniform place, and our souls more homogeneous as a result. Only then can we be perfect."
We wanted to know more, so we asked him to tell us about the recruiting season and what being a member of the fraternity could mean to the average (and is there any other kind?) Eerie citizen:
"Every seven years, we welcome new members into our brotherhood, provided, of course, that they prove suitable candidates.
The novices are taken into our society and tutored in the art of normality. As they progress up through the ranks of the order, they are taken to higher levels of understanding of the average and become increasingly holy as a result. We feel that in Eerie, there is much suitable 'raw material' for us to work with. Allow me to show you some figures."
After he'd finished showing his various charts and graphs proving that Eerie and its citizens are as normal as they come, we felt it was our duty to ask Rev. Smith, how can someone go about applying for entry into the Brotherhood, and how would they "prove a suitable candidate"?
"If one were interested in entering our fraternity, they could come along to our house at the appointed time, bringing with them $666 - purely for administration purposes, you understand. Running a religion is not cheap, and the costs of recruiting are high.
"Each potential member should also bring a small sacrifice. Say, a goat, or something.
"Then, the applicants are put through a series of tests, to ensure that they are not too strange to be a Brother of Norm. As I have already made clear, strange is not welcome.
"The remaining applicants are then enrolled on a provisional basis and put through a number of initiation trials. Those who succeed are welcomed into our sect as novices."
What do the initiation trials consist of?
"Ah, that is top secret. No outsider can know."
Do many people fail the initiation trials?
"Sadly, yes. Our brotherhood is very elite. Only the most normal may be admitted. I'm afraid that not many people make the grade, as it were. To be a Brother of Norm, one must be average in the extreme, learned, and handy with a knife - for the sacrifices."
What do you say to those who accuse the Brotherhood of being a cult?
"A cult?! Goodness, no! Cults are for fanatic weirdoes! Strange, unlawful things go on in cults. We are a legitimate religious denomination, free from the strange and mysterious practices of cults."
We at the Eerie Examiner decided to contact those who had failed the initiation tests, to find out what we could about them.
Looking at the recruitment records from seven years ago, it aspired that twelve people did
not pass the trials. However, not one of those people was present in Eerie today. We tried to speak to the families of those people, but they all refused to comment.
Presuming them to be in Spain, we spoke instead to the town's mayor, Mr Chisel, to ask his opinion on Eerie's own religious sect:
"The Brotherhood of Norm? Well, I guess they're harmless enough. Of course, I'm fully in favour of what they do for the town itself, keeping it town itself, keeping it nice and normal. Lots of our citizens want to be in that… what do you call it?…cult?"
I didn't think they'd like to hear it called that. "Cults are for weirdoes", after all. It's a "legitimate religious denomination", I informed him.
"Yeah, well, whatever. Lots of people in Eerie want to join. If that means they have to live nice, clean lives, then I'm all in favour, of course."
So, it would seem that all those who wish to lead an existence dedicated to purging the world of chaos and unpredictability need look no further that number 13 Driew Hill, Eerie, where the Brotherhood has it's house. It is in the grounds of the house that any potential member can pick up a prospectus and make an appointment to undertake the initial tests. It must be stressed that all applicants have to pay the $666 administration fee and bring a suitable sacrifice, as outlined by the Reverend Smith earlier, when they attend their appointment.
As the Eerie Examiner is a paper for the people, by the people, we decided to take an opinion poll and ask some townsfolk what they thought about the religion. We stood outside the World O' Stuff for a whole Saturday, stopping passers-by to ask them to tick a box. Of the few who would stop and find out what we wanted,
45% of Eerie citizens polled were "very interested" in becoming a member of the sect ana member of the sect and were already looking at the price of blue robes - the Brotherhood's uniform - and in the process of buying a goat.
30% of those questioned thought they'd "like to know more about the religion with the possibility of joining"
24% "cannot join the Brotherhood of Norm for various reasons" which are outlined below
45% of the above cannot leave work to join a religious order.
28% of the above cannot leave their families to join a religious order.
27% of the above cannot afford the $666 + sacrifice + robes cost of joining
3% of the people we asked "are not interested in joining the Brotherhood of norm".
Of this three percent, one was a certain Mr M. Teller, who made his opinions quite clear:
"I'm not joining some weird cult!"
We were about to point out that, according to Rev. Smith, it's a legitimate religious denomination, but he went on before we could make the distinction. Our apologies to Rev. Smith.
"They want to make everyone the same and use really bizarre ways of doing it! And what happened to those who didn't make it past the initiation tests last time?! No way, I'm not having anything to do with it!"
His small friend was of much the same opinion.
However, there were plenty of people who felt differently. Mrs D. Stanson and her husband had just emerged from the World O' Stuff, , carrying an unidentifiable creature recently bought from the new Unusual Pets department of the store. We stopped the couple to ask what they thought:
"Oh, I can't wait to make an appointment!"
Said Mrs Stanson
"I really hope my husband and I are good enough! In fact, we we've been shopping for a small blood sacrifice. The farm near where we live is fresh out of goats, so we may have to go out of town."
With that they hurried off in search of a suitable quadruped.
The recruiting season is open until the end of next month, and anyone is welcome to apply. For more information, go along to 13 Driew Hill between the hours of 9am and 6pm to obtain some of the Brotherhood's literature and perhaps take the opportunity
to talk to the brothers in attendance.