(no subject)
so there are precious few days left in the semester. i should be using these days to squeeze the last bit of fun out of this town, but i've been using these days to get as much sleep as possible. i mean lots of sleep. after all, i'm so much more pleasant when i'm sleeping...or atleast drowsy.
so i'm a little sad about a few things. i've got a few types of friends in chapel hill. some good good friends here. i also have good friends here that i don't see very much. and i have people who were my good friends, but now i'm afraid that some of those good friendships are pretty much broken...mainly this one guy. it's broken so much that i don't know what to do with myself. and it sucks. it's not like the friendship is broken because we don't get along or because we just don't like eachother anymore. it's really just a victim of circumstance. and that's so stupid. but it happens i guess. i'm just an afterthought to him. and i really don't want to cry again. i hate crying. and besides, when a really good friend of mine had to console me while crying, she made me promise not to let the person who made me cry weasel his way back in so easily. so i was my difficult self and made it difficult for him. ahhhhh, whatever. i'm over it. well, obviously i'm not over it if i am continuing to write about it. but i want to be over it. it's just hard.
i really know that i am not using my last weeks here to their full advantage. but i don't even really want to go out that much or spend all of my time socializing. after all, we all have a lot of shit that has to be done between now and then. i know that once i've been home for a month or two, i'm going to be going crazy missing some people. but we'll make an effort. promise me we will.
anyway, home will be nice. i'll have a car. i'll be making money. i will have a somewhat familiar routine back in my life. i'll be able to see the people i so desperately miss when i'm away (mainly heather). i will have the opportunity to hold a baby for the first time in my life. i will travel a little bit. it will be grand.
so i'm a little sad about a few things. i've got a few types of friends in chapel hill. some good good friends here. i also have good friends here that i don't see very much. and i have people who were my good friends, but now i'm afraid that some of those good friendships are pretty much broken...mainly this one guy. it's broken so much that i don't know what to do with myself. and it sucks. it's not like the friendship is broken because we don't get along or because we just don't like eachother anymore. it's really just a victim of circumstance. and that's so stupid. but it happens i guess. i'm just an afterthought to him. and i really don't want to cry again. i hate crying. and besides, when a really good friend of mine had to console me while crying, she made me promise not to let the person who made me cry weasel his way back in so easily. so i was my difficult self and made it difficult for him. ahhhhh, whatever. i'm over it. well, obviously i'm not over it if i am continuing to write about it. but i want to be over it. it's just hard.
i really know that i am not using my last weeks here to their full advantage. but i don't even really want to go out that much or spend all of my time socializing. after all, we all have a lot of shit that has to be done between now and then. i know that once i've been home for a month or two, i'm going to be going crazy missing some people. but we'll make an effort. promise me we will.
anyway, home will be nice. i'll have a car. i'll be making money. i will have a somewhat familiar routine back in my life. i'll be able to see the people i so desperately miss when i'm away (mainly heather). i will have the opportunity to hold a baby for the first time in my life. i will travel a little bit. it will be grand.