afraid to like???
well i've been having fun this last week or two. having fun flirting and stuff. but with Cameraman being soo damn likable and cute and nice and everything im beginning to think my whole idea about no guys or being serious is going out the window and really fast too. and for awhile i didnt care i thought it was great. i could finally be happy and just have fun....however, this love relationship between my LesbianLuver and Cameraman makes me question wether my happiness is even possible. i know they have this agreement and everything and my LesbianLuver is totally in love with her sweety and will not leave him but im afraid to get close to Cameraman b/c of his possible hidden feelings hes trying but will never forget. u know? im just afraid. to let myself even just like someone else. b/c liking leads to real liking and then love....and after what happend last time. im scared to let myself take even the tiniest chance especially if hes still in love with someone else. or trying to hide some feelings. i can't be crushed....i refuse to be...but idk...it feels right but something keeps nagging me going "hes still got feelings for LesbianLuver" so i guess ill just have to remind myself of something i dislike about him(which will be hard to do since hes such a great guy) and keep focusing on that so i dont get attached or begin to really like him. cuz all the guys i know or ever liked have lied in some form or another so im just wondering if he really does like me or if hes just trying to move on and i happen to tickle his fancy at this time. just some things i think about. o well i know ill get screwed in the end. Tis my fate.....farewell.