(no subject)
Title: Voyager; as the years go by
Pairing: Ohno/Nino
Rating: Pg
Summary: They start out together as young, unsure teenagers. They grow, they laugh, they cry and run away. But at the end, all that remains is the two of them and Nino wouldn’t want it any other way.
A/n: One of my rare attempts at something that isn’t AU. I actually pretty satisfied with this. It kinda tracks the ohmiya progression through the years, picked off my basic memory from random interviews and stuff. I like to think this is true in real life; a girl can hope right? This was totally completed because calerine posted fic, and so then I wanted to as well. So now there’s someone to blame.
They had never really communicated. Sure, Nino is good at getting to know others, and Ohno doesn’t care enough to tell anyone to leave him alone, but their relationship is shallow, purely because of a lack of communication and of any motivation to actually do so. The hours are long each day, and there is hardly any time to breathe, let alone communicate with each other besides when the cameras are rolling.
It’s for this reason that when their schedules are cancelled for the day because of a Jimusho flood ( that suspiciously stems from the V6 dressing room and that fact that Innochi is an insane drunk) and Jun and Sho and Aiba are sent off because they have interviews and drama filmings , Nino and Ohno are left sitting together awkwardly in the canteen. Ohno eats a lot; probably three times as much as Nino. Nino nibbles on an onigiri and eyes Ohno, eyes flittering around the canteen skittishly.
When Ohno is done and looks up, Nino is just sitting there, gaze firmly fixed on the poster on the wall behind Ohno. Half of Nino’s onigiri is wrapped up in the plastic next to him; it’s money after all, and Nino’s feet are tapping on the floor, going faster and faster as he notices Ohno looking at him. Ohno sniffs, scratches at his nose, and manages a smile. Let’s go, he says, and stands up, grabbing his bag and turning to raise an eyebrow at Nino. Nino gets up, pockets the onigiri (dinner) and follows.
They walk to the train station together, shoulders bumping, only more because of their similar heights rather than friendly companionship. There is an ice cream man at the train station. Nino watches as Ohno sticks a hand in his pocket and fiddles around for money. It’s pretty obvious that he doesn’t have any; after all, one does not need three minutes to dig about a tiny pocket. Nino purses his lips.
He goes over to the ice cream man and buys two ice creams; both chocolate, because everyone loves chocolate, and nudges Ohno with his foot. For you, he mumbles and hands it over, nearly pushing it into Ohno’s face. It means 50 yen less saved in his coin bank , but Ohno’s face, crinkling and pleasantly surprised, lingers in Nino’s mind for the next few weeks.
-
They settle into a comfortable relationship rather fast. They still barely speak, and there isn’t much understanding of each other’s past ( Ohno having spent much of his Junior life in Kyoto). But there is an understanding that passes between them, flitting through the moments when they’re together, allowing them a brief respite from their hectic lives.
To Ohno, Nino is a mystery. Nino tries so hard to hide all that he really, truly is. Nino doesn’t like letting the people around him understand him, doesn’t like explaining himself, or having to be accountable to anyone. Nino wants to be alone, mostly, and just live his life, working to reach his ambitions by himself and for himself. Ohno is fascinated by Nino and his inner struggle, hidden by his natural ability to talk and his rather impressive acting skills. And most of all, Ohno thinks that he might want to be the one the Nino will allow inside his blocked out heart.
To Nino, Ohno is something like a puzzle. Nino can see the whole picture, clear as day, yet it’s hard to put together all the same. Ohno is quirky, different in a completely unintentional manner. Every day, Nino watches Ohno and finds that there is so much to Ohno that no one usually sees. Nino looks closer, past the blank look of dreamy sleepiness that most people skim by, and tries to peer inside, to piece together all the new things he’s finding out about his newly appointed leader.
It comes to the point where they’ve found out all they need to know, somehow, through the strange sort of connection that they find between themselves. It’s not everything, but it’s more than enough.
-
They’re at rehearsals for their first concert when Nino snaps. He hasn’t slept in two and a half days, and he just can’t seem to get that twirl down. He doesn’t express it outside though, but Ohno catches the slight twitch of his brow, and the cracking of his knuckles as he glares at his shoes.
Lets run away, says Nino, on the way to the train station. Nino usually goes home with Aiba, but Aiba is off with Sho, having extracted a promise of a dinner treat in return for helping him master the art of triple turns. Lets run away, and then everything will just stop for a while and we can rest. Like, not for three hours, but for real, together.
Nino’s eyes are misty with controlled emotions, fighting to burst out. He stares at Ohno’s nose, almost sending out unconscious beams, begging Ohno to say something.
Okay, says Ohno. Where should we go?
-
They end up taking the train to Kyoto, because Ohno knows the place at the back of his hand. They trek to the motel Ohno used to stay in and manage to get Ohno’s old room back. Nino drops his stuff on one of the beds in the room and plops down on the bed. He looks lost, like a little puppy, who can’t seem to find his mother. Ohno thinks that it’s easy to forget that Nino is just sixteen. He’s serious about his work, doesn’t like unnecessary chatter and is, for the most part, a very private person. And it’s so easy to think of Nino as someone older than him; Nino has ambitions too, far loftier than the ones that Ohno has.
But now, Nino looks like a child, unsure and scared, even if running away had been his idea to start with. And Ohno isn’t sure what to do with himself; he’s never been good at leading, especially not when they’re actually going against authority and risking their entire careers.
They just sit on the beds together in silence. Two minutes pass, Ohno counts the seconds on the clock on the wall. And then, two seconds after two minutes, Nino comes back; the Nino that he usually is pushes back into control. Let’s go walk around, Nino says, standing up and grabbing his jacket. I hope you still remember the way to the nearest combini.
And Ohno does. It’s almost painfully clear; those days in Kyoto, where all he had to do was dance. There weren’t any interviews, or regular tv shows or hustling, bad tempered managers. They each get cup ramen and sit outside the combini and eat. Nino steals Ohno’s fishcake, and Ohno sips from Nino’s can of soda. And for that hour or so, it feels as though they’ve been set free.
At night, they climb into the beds and stare at the ceiling for fifteen minutes in complete silence. It’s cold, and neither of them can get to sleep. Nino’s head is filled with worries; because he doesn’t know what to expect when they’re inevitably found and dragged back to Tokyo. It’s when he’s picturing Sho’s disapproving face, and Aiba’s wide confused eyes that he feels warm pressure on his fingers and long hair tickling his shoulder.
Let’s sleep, says Ohno and snuggles close.
Ok, says Nino.
And he falls asleep immediately.
-
They don’t wait to be found; they go back by themselves and sheepishly reappear in their dressing room after two days of running away. Their manager throws a fit. The other members understand though, Jun shoots Nino a look, one that says that he probably have gone along too, had Nino asked him. (and, Nino, reflects, he wouldn’t have asked Jun; it’s only Ohno only Ohno that would really, really understand why).
But it passes after a while, lost in the mess of concert rehearsals and photo shoots. Nino learns how to find joy in what he does, and make the most out of the things he hates. Ohno learns how to wake up on time (Nino takes to calling him half an hour before work starts), and remembers how much he loves to dance.
On the very last day of Arashi’s first concerts, Nino is on his third or fourth wind, soaking in the excitement and exhilaration that comes from what, he realizes, he actually may enjoy doing. As he presses the mike to his mouth, Nino catches Ohno’s eyes.
And it only takes a minute, a short, short minute for them both to realize that they can be happy. Ohno is there, solid and real, eyes crinkling and wonky teeth showing. Nino sees him, and finds that it’s enough for now.
-
Days pass, and days become weeks. Weeks then become months. And soon enough, years pass. Nothing changes. Arashi gets a midnight show where they engage in a strange mixture of endearing fail and general idiocy. Single sales reach an all time low. Management demands that they fix it, and fast.
Nino becomes slouchy. He mopes around, wondering what the point of going on is. Ohno tries to perk him up, treats him to his favorite kind of rice balls and draws him cute little doodles. But nothing seems to work; even Jun’s bitching and Aiba’s pouty eyes or Sho’s lecturing.
Then, one day, Nino comes to Ohno with a new light in his eyes. I received a letter yesterday, Oh-chan. He says, almost hopping about in contained excitement. Ask me what it was about, he says, when Ohno just nods mildly.
What was it about? Asks Ohno obediently, lips quirking at how unintentionally adorable Nino is being ( it’s always the cutest when Nino doesn’t know).
It’s from Clint Eastwood, he wants me, me, to act in his movie, Oh-chan. In a Hollywood film. I’ve dreamt of this for so long, and it’s gonna happen, Nino’s eyes shine with a fire that hasn’t been there for years. Ohno sees this and smiles back at Nino. Great, he says, when does filming start?
Nino pauses. He actually looks rather guilty for a while, scuffling at the floor and suddenly taking a unnatural interest in a blackish patch on the floor. Actually, Oh-chan, he says at last, the filming starts in two weeks. In America.
It takes a bit of time for it to sink in, but Ohno’s brow lowers when he realizes that Nino is going to be gone, not to another province, but gone, gone. Do you really want to go? He asks, tipping Nino’s chin up to look him in the eyes.
Nino’s eyes tell Ohno that he wants to tell a lie, perhaps to make Ohno feel better. But Nino’s eyes drop again, Yes, Oh-chan, I really want to go.
Then go, says Ohno, if I can’t stop you. And if there is a tinge of hurt and a lot of gruffness in his tone as he walks off, he doesn’t notice it through the hazy cloud that follows him. But Nino hears it, every bit, and it tears him up inside.
-
Everyone else takes it rather well, considering they’ll be missing a member for a few months. When they go out for Yakiniku, Ohno is, by all appearances, normal. Nino picks at his food even more than usual and stops eating completely when Ohno neglects to take a single sip from his orange soda. The members offer their advice and well wishes one by one. Aiba cries, prompting Sho and Jun to bring him out to the car park and away from public scrutiny. As Aiba sniffs, Nino squeezes his hand and turns to Ohno.
Oh-chan. He pauses. Ohno pushes a piece of meat around his plate. Nino reaches over with his fork and stuffs the meat into his mouths. Ohno doesn’t say anything. Oh-chan. Nino shakes Ohno’s elbow till he looks up, half annoyed.
I’ve been thinking for days about this, and I think I’ve decided something. Nino puts the fork down and touches the hem of Ohno’s shirt absently. If you tell me that you want me to stay, Oh-chan, I’ll stay. For you. Only for you.
Ohno’s eye’s are sharp when they seek out Nino’s face. Do you really mean it? It comes out a lot more brusquely than he intends it, but Nino’s gaze doesn’t waver. I mean it. All you have to do is tell me that you want me to stay, and I’ll call the jimusho and turn down the offer.
You’d give up the chance of a lifetime for me? Ohno asks softly.
Like I said, says Nino, I thought about it, long and hard. And I finally came to the conclusion that you were more important that Hollywood or Clint Eastwood or international fame. I’d do anything for you, Oh-chan.
Ohno smiles. He can’t help it as warmth sweeps through him, flowing right down to his toes. He squishes Nino’s cheeks together and pecks Nino on the nose.
Go Nino, he says, go show them what real acting is like.
And so Nino does.
-
They’ve never really had an established relationship; a definition of what exactly they have. It includes sparkly comedy routines, and overdoes of fan service, even when the cameras aren’t rolling. It includes understanding, and undoubtedly, large amounts of affection. But they’ve never really put a name to it; perhaps they never felt a need to.
Things change though. They’ve been given a few days off work. Filming is going a little slower for Ohno, and Nino wakes up in the morning planning to drag Ohno out to buy accessories for his DS and perhaps have ramen together after that. He goes out to check for mail and drops by the combini to pick up milk and perhaps a magazine or two. It’s when he’s seriously considering the nutritional value against the price of several brands of milk that he sees it.
Nino doesn’t drop the milk, neither does he gasp in an exaggerated and dramatic manner. Nino decides on the milk he wants and picks up a copy of the morning news. Then, he goes over to the magazine rack and picks off every single magazine that has Ohno’s name on it. And then, he puts them all in a basket and buys every single one.
He brings them all home and pours himself some milk. Then, he picks up the first magazine and begins to read. He’s not sure when he starts to cry; perhaps it’s the pictures, perhaps it’s not. He refuses to let it last. Nino rolls up the huge stacks of magazines and throws them into the disposal. He checks his phone; three mails from Sho, one from Aiba and five from Jun and a shitload from their manager.
Nino finishes his milk and pulls on his jacket. Then, reminding himself to be strong, he steps out and drives to the jimusho.
-
To be perfectly honest, Ohno doesn’t even remember ever being in such a situation. He stares at the pictures on the glossy magazine. It’s him, without a doubt, and he’s most certainly smashed. But everyone knows that Ohno is a terrible drunk, the kind that slobbers over everyone and everything and wakes up without a hangover, but also without any recollection of the late-night events. Ohno chances a glance at his manager. He’s in pretty deep shit, and it’s going to take a miracle for this to blow over without a hitch.
Ohno is wondering what to say (or if he should even attempt to break into his manager’s rant) when the door opens and Nino walks in. Ohno breathes in sharply. He’s been so distracted about the admittedly rather large problem that he’s neglected to feel to pangs of guilt that rush up on him when his eyes lock with Ninos.
But Nino just gives him a smile, one full of comfort and warm assurance. And there is the slightest hint of repressed emotions, but Ohno looks past it and welcomes the comfort, letting Nino sweep away all the confusion and the headaches.
Things pass quickly. Their agency is particularly adept at covering up things. But there are problems that remain, hidden beneath Nino’s smile and their busy work routine. There are things that cannot be looked past because they don’t go away. They remain, growing more and more painful as months go by, and building up till they cannot be contained anymore; not even by boundless affection (or perhaps something more) .
-
Nino reaches his breaking point on a normal day. It’s a day full of variety filming and magazine interviews and concert rehearsals; not too different from nine years ago. But it’s different because Ohno can’t understand. Ohno is chatting with an unidentified female, and it’s not so much the action itself, or who Ohno is talking to, but the explosion of the storm that has been building up since Nino told himself not to cry.
A few caustic remarks and biting retorts later, Ohno is leaving, hurt and confused and Nino is slouched over his DS, crashing mercilessly at the buttons in a fruitless attempt to drive all his frustration out in time for movie filming.
-
Ohno goes home and punches a hole in his chair. Granted, it’s old and flimsy and made of plastic, but Ohno is angry, perhaps with Nino, perhaps with himself, and he doesn’t know what to do anymore. Ohno doesn’t know where things stand, or what he can say to Nino, or whether he has the right to say anything at all.
Ohno sits on the floor of his little art room and refuses to answer his mom’s hovering and pleas for him to come and eat dinner.
Nino throws himself into acting, pretending that he’s another person with problems that he knows can be solved; he’s read the script.
-
Ohno and Nino stare at each other in the silence of the dressing room, waiting for the other to make the first move. Nino makes the first move, because it has always been that way, for years and years. Let’s run away, he says, and stares into Ohno’s eyes. And Ohno sees the sixteen year old Nino, unsure and hopeful and nods silently.
This time, it’s not strictly running away. They employ Sho’s assistance in negotiating three days off work to run off to Kyoto. It’s night by the time they go back to the same old motel, reunite with Ohno’s old landlady and get back the same room. Nino perches on the bed stiffly, still not entirely sure how things stand. Ohno sighs as his back hits the bed, closes his eyes and tells himself that he has to admit to what his heart is telling him.
Nino is trying to get to sleep when the covers rustle and Ohno slips in next to him. I haven’t ever said sorry, have I? Whispers Ohno, into the darkness. Nino feels his body vibrating, hears his voice waver a little as he waits for Nino’s response. You haven’t, Nino agrees, do you mean it?
Ohno is silent for a long while. And when he does speak, his voice is right next to Nino’s ear. More sorry than I ever been in my life. I hurt you, Nino, and I can’t forgive myself either. Nino’s eyes slide shut with relief; nothing else matters because Ohno is right there next to him and cares for him, Nino, and not some random girl, the most.
I can’t forgive you, Oh-chan, Nino says, pausing as Ohno tenses up. I can’t forgive you, because I was never angry in the first place. Just sad. And now I’m happy, because Oh-chan loves me best. It’s not entirely accurate, but Ohno understands anyway.
Let’s go to sleep he says, barely audible over the whirl of the fan and the sound of Nino’s heart beating.
Ok, says Nino.
They fall asleep, satisfied. Not quite there yet, but almost, and that’s all they need for now.
-
It’s been ten years. They’re overworked, tired and stretched till breaking point. But at the end of the day, when Nino steps into Ohno’s house and flops onto Ohno’s couch and nuzzles Ohno to the side, Ohno will smile into Nino’s hair and Nino will pinch Ohno’s arm genially. Then Ohno will tell Nino that it’s time to sleep.
Nino will close fingers round the material of Ohno’s pajamas and let the hectic flurry of the days slide out. And then, they will both smile and continue to run on.
(together)
fin
-
Woah. So I haven't read this over yet, but I wanted to post some fic. I've been wanting to write something other than the same old AUs that I usually do, so here it is.
Also, I'm offering fic in the help_pakistan auction. My thread is here