[One-shot] Good-bye
Title: Goodbye
Author: D’Lave
Pairing: Jung Yunho & Kim Jaejoong
Genre: Angst, Drama
Length: One-shot
Rating: G
Summary: When Yunho had to let Jaejoong go.
+++
Whether we say "I love you" or "I hate you"
Now, for the two of us that love one another, it's good-bye
“Yunho-ah, y-you’re just joking right? Say it is not true.” He heard Jaejoong’s voice. He sensed the pleading tone in his voice. It hurt his heart. Why did he say that at the first place? Yunho himself had forgotten. This was so not good.
“Jaejoong, I-“
“No! You’re lying!” Yunho’s eyes snapped open at the loud voice came from his once called boy friend. “You’re lying! Y-you promised me, you’ll be with me forever, don’t you? You sure remember that, don’t you Yunho?” This time Jaejoong’s hands were on his arms, trying to hold it.
Yunho sighed. “Jaejoong…” He started. With lots of effort, he broke the hold and took Jaejoong’s chin, “I’m sorry. W-We can’t be together in this anymore. It will not work.”
“No, no…” Yunho felt a knife stabbed his heart, seeing Jaejoong like this. He didn’t want this to happen to Jaejoong, but he had to do this. “You still love me, I know you do.”
“Jaejoong.” Yunho brought his own hands towards his sides, “Move on, I’m not the one for you.”
Just when he said those words, he turned his body, away from a man which already in a pool of tears.
He still could hear Jaejoong’s pleading, asking him not to go. Truly, it hurt him too. It seemed what the elder felt, he could feel it too. Harshly, he walked past the door and hid himself behind the wall.
He wasn’t strong as he expected.
“Yunho-ah, don’t leave me.” A sobbing came from the room made Yunho to take a peek. This is the last time. He told himself. This is the last time; I won’t look at him with this feeling anymore.
What broke his heart was a picture of Jaejoong crying like a little baby there, on the floor. He bit his lips hard. He had promised himself not to let any single tears to fall on that porcelain cheeks, but he did it.
He broke his promise. Yunho smiled sarcastically when he remembered. But then, he already had broken his promise when he said those words to Jaejoong.
He turned his head again. Jaejoong was still there, still crying, still murmuring his name, and still pleading Yunho to come back to him.
“Jaejoong-ah.” Yunho stopped, gulped down his own saliva bitterly, “Good bye.”
With a smile, as you were back on that day; you who are laughing, is very beautiful
It was already two months. Yunho heaved a heavy breath. Lots of thing happened in these two months, he didn’t deny it. Their 4th album was postponed to 26th September, two days late from the schedule date due to the high volume of orders. It seemed Mirotic would be a greatest phenomenon again. He smiled. At least, it was worth for the free times which they sacrificed for this album, their comeback album.
Hearing the voices which started to fill the dressing room made Yunho to turn his whole body. He was first greeted by Junsu who gave him a peace sign before the latter went straight to the couch.
“So, how is it going?” Yunho walked towards the couch where Junsu sat.
“It’s good; you should go with us, hyung. The Bulgogi is so yummy and also Dak-Gui, Changmin asked for them five times, can you believe it?”
Yunho chuckled, “If it was Changmin, it was a common thing.”
“Yah!” A smack landed on Yunho’s shoulder making the latter to cough. Fortunately, Changmin hurriedly rubbed Yunho’s back, to ease the latter.
“I’m sorry, hyung. Are you okay?” Yunho could see guilt on the youngest member’s face. He smiled before he patted Changmin’s head.
“It’s okay; after all it was my fault to tease you.”
Changmin smiled in return before worry started to appear on his babyish face again. Yunho realized Changmin’s new hair cut made him younger than his age.
“You look thin, hyung. You’re not sick right?”
“I’m not.” Yunho ruffled Changmin’s neat hairs. He talked to Changmin and Junsu before he heard a familiar laughter indicated the owner of the voice was walking into their dressing room. He took a glance at two people who just entered the room.
Jaejoong hid his laugh behind his palm while Yoochun was pouted, didn’t satisfy with the tease came from the eldest.
“It’s not fair! How come you got the album already? While, I, their so-fanatic fan still haven’t gotten any.”
“Because your skill to persuade them is still not match to mine.” Jaejoong gave a quick retort before he flew towards Changmin, trying to avoid the already mad Yoochun.
Yunho smiled, satisfied. At least the person whom he cared was happy again.
Don't throw away your feelings of love; don't forget the happiness of being loved
Yunho quirked his brows up as he sensed the tension in the living room of their shared apartment. Junsu and Yoochun sat on the couple loveseat while Jaejoong was on a single couch which left Changmin alone on the longest couch. Yunho shrugged his shoulders before he plopped down, sat besides Changmin.
He was still tired after 3 hours meeting that he had with their manager.
“What happened?” He couldn’t help but to ask.
Changmin pouted, “It’s Jaejoong hyung.”
“Jaejoong?” Yunho looked at the mentioned latter but Jaejoong avoided his eyes. “What happened to Jaejoong?” He turned his head to Changmin, asking him to tell him as he knew Jaejoong wouldn’t give him any answer that he wanted.
“He refused to have a date with my friend.” It was Yoochun’s voice that entered his ears.
“What?” Now, he was confused.
Yoochun sighed. “I have this friend and she likes Jaejoong hyung so much. Well, I’m not sure how big it is but the main point is I ask Jaejoong hyung to try to go out with her, just for you know, hyung… to know each other well. But Jaejoong hyung refused it completely. He doesn’t even know who the girl is.”
He didn’t know why but his heart beat faster than usual. Why Jaejoong doesn’t want to go? “Err… you can try it Jaejoong, who knows she is your dream girl?” Yunho tried, just to ease the uncomfortable feeling he had at the moment.
But the reply he received just made him more troubled.
“I don’t want to. Love is just a lie. There is nothing called love in this world, it is a crap!” Jaejoong left the room as soon as he finished his words.
Yunho whacked his head mentally. Is it because of him Jaejoong doesn’t believe in love again?
Don't cry, don't cry; my voice is worn out, but I can still send it out to you
Yunho wondered. He definitely heard a cry came from Jaejoong’s and Changmin’s shared room. But they already went out 2 hours ago when Yunho was out. So, it couldn’t be them. Them whose cry he heard now? Is it a ghost?
Shiver running throughout Yunho’s body at that thought. Although he was known as the manliest guy in the band, it didn’t mean he wasn’t afraid of anything.
Hesitate, Yunho pushed the door open just a little bit. There was no light in the room but he still could figure a body on the bed. The figure bended his knees and brought them towards his chest while he buried his face in his arms which he put on his knees stably.
Jaejoong?
Jaejoong was crying. Yunho noticed that but why? Could it be…?
“I hate you!” Jaejoong talked to himself. “I hate you Jung Yunho!”
Yunho clutched his heart. It was in pain.
“Why did you leave me alone? Why did you not love me anymore? I hate you!” Jaejoong kept repeating ‘I hate you’ until Yunho could only hear him sobbing.
Hurriedly, Yunho backed his back onto the walls. He couldn’t support his own body which started to get weak. That was why he was, now, sitting on the floor with both his hands on his head.
The headache came again. It was torturing him. Yunho gritted his teeth hard, trying to lessen the pain but it was all in vain. Jaejoong’s cry made him like this.
Although he knew the effect of his action, he still wanted to hear what Jaejoong said. He didn’t know Jaejoong still hadn’t get over this yet. He thought the latter already got over it 6 months ago as Jaejoong started to become his own self. Was it just an act to cover his true feelings?
“Yunho-ah, please come back to me. I still need you. I need you.” Jaejoong cried with all his heart, didn’t notice the shivering figure outside his room, “I love you, Yunho-ah. Why did you leave me?”
Yunho didn’t know when be felt something salty on his lips. He brought his hand up, on his cheeks. There was liquid flowing.
He is crying. Jung Yunho is crying. He told himself.
He took a peek at the door as he mumbled to himself, “Don’t cry Jaejoong-ah, please don’t cry.”
Start walking, start walking; memories will be by your side
With difficulty, Yunho brought himself up off the floor. This time, he didn’t glance back like what he did 6 months ago. He knew, if he looked, again, at the crying man inside the bedroom which was shared by the eldest and youngest member of the band, he knew he couldn’t let him go, forever.
He heaved a heavy breath as he dragged his legs towards the main door. He did stop for once.
That future probably won't come, but something about it makes me smile
He murmured something which was so soft that people with normal hearing level wouldn’t be able to hear it. Surprisingly, his lips curled upwards to form a smile. Was it come from his heart? Nobody knows because it was too perfect to say it was a fake smile.
Embrace everything, here I go.
“Jaejoong-ah, let it go, let I go.” Yunho whispered before he pushed the door open and his feet walked through it, once again facing the reality of the world they lived in. A determined smile formed on his tanned face.
“Here I go.”