[Fic] "The Guardian in Spite of Herself" chapter 13 -- Naruto

[edenfalling]

"The Guardian in Spite of Herself" is the sequel to "The Way of the Apartment Manager," which can be found in final form on ff.net , or in beta draft with comments on my journal. It also has fanartHere is chapter 13, in which the differences between chuunin and trainee ninja are made very clear, Kakashi kindly gives exposition about the Uchiha,

Comments

[leahnari]

OH MY GOD YAY!
And I really wish I were using my computer right now, because I don`t know when I`ll be able to get back online and read this beauty >n> BUT YAY!

I'll get this ASAP :)

[edenfalling]

I hope you enjoyed it. :-)

[askerian]

I think I need to read back for background knowledge on the OCs but even then it was fairly clear who had what type of personality and what their bonds were. And I dunno, the order to keep naruto and sasuke out of the village works for me -- but i'm not sure about the order to go on a mission anyway. Which has priority for the Hokage?

[edenfalling]

This is why I say scene 4 is basically a giant plot contrivance -- I need everyone to converge on Tengai at roughly the same time, even though it makes very little sense for two kids to tag along on an intelligence and assassination mission. *headdesk*

I think I may have said, way back around chapter 3, that the mission had already been knocked up in priority, which is why it must continue. The idea, I think, is that since Konoha is currently massively destabilized, the last thing they can afford to be dealing with is someone else trying to further destabilize the international ninja system, so Eiji has to go posthaste.

Konoha is also, for obvious reasons, very interested in any information they can get on Akatsuki -- what with the Madara thing and all -- and they know Eiji has made contact with the group. So that's another reason the mission is important, and it can't be reassigned without wasting time laying cover for other agents. So Sarutobi is working with what he has, given a pronounced personnel shortage and a time crunch

Hurrah!

[nuclear_d_frog]

I am *so* glad this updated again. This is one of the few stories I still care about -- I gave up on the manga years ago, and all but quit following fan-fiction for it as well. Nothing I have heard about the manga in the last three years gives me any regret about dropping it

Re: Hurrah!

[edenfalling]

I am not completely sure yet what will happen to Eiji and his family at the end of the story -- I have three or four options that all make reasonable plot sense, and am trying to decide which one works best thematically with the rest of the story. But yeah, they are in deep trouble, and they know it

[aishuu]

My immediate reaction is to groan, because OMG I've got a bit of the same subplot about tech advancement going in an AU I'm developing. So yeah, great minds think alike.

Once I get by that, SQUUUUUUEEEE. I like how Yukiko manipulates Sasuke (very kunoichi of her), and it's a good reminder that this isn't all fun and games, despite what Naruto may think. Nice work with Sasuke picking up on Seichi.

I still don't have as good a feel for these OCs as I did in Appt Manager, but I think that's because this is a broader-scope fic that takes place outside of Konoha.

[edenfalling]

The tech stuff is a perfectly logical extrapolation from canon, I think, and I would love to see your take on it. :-)

It was easier to introduce Yukiko and Naga in a relatively seamless fashion, because I was introducing them into an already familiar context. I could spend words to develop them instead of their surroundings. With Eiji, Ginji, and Tetsuko, I have to build their setting and situation at the same time, and there aren't any canon characters around for them to play off. Also, "Guardian" is more plot-oriented than "Apartment Manager" was... or rather, its plot arc is about action/adventure and moral choices, whereas "Apartment Manager"'s plot was about character growth and relationships. So the focus is different.

But I keep worrying about Eiji-tachi myself. I think Eiji and Ginji have been getting clearer since their introduction, but since this is Tetsuko's first time stepping out of background support, she feels... I dunno, thin. *makes face* I don't know how to fix this except by writing more and hoping people

[aishuu]

The tech in Naruto just doesn't MAKE SENSE to me, so it's an obvious thing to tackle... I think my spin will be a bit different, though, though similar pressures from civvies will emerge.

I think I'd have an easier time with the OCs if I was reading this in one lump, rather than following as you release. My memory, it's not so good....