[Fic] "The Guardian in Spite of Herself" chapter 13 -- Naruto

[edenfalling]

"The Guardian in Spite of Herself" is the sequel to "The Way of the Apartment Manager," which can be found in final form on ff.net , or in beta draft with comments on my journal. It also has fanartHere is chapter 13, in which the differences between chuunin and trainee ninja are made very clear, Kakashi kindly gives exposition about the Uchiha,

Comments

Hurrah!

[nuclear_d_frog]

I am *so* glad this updated again. This is one of the few stories I still care about -- I gave up on the manga years ago, and all but quit following fan-fiction for it as well. Nothing I have heard about the manga in the last three years gives me any regret about dropping it.

Things that were great:
- The brattiness of brats. For all the little training they have at this point, Sasuke and Naruto still very much read as children.

- Seichi as someone who is really not right in the head but remains "stable" somehow.

- The scene with Eiji, Ginji, and Tetsuko. It really is sad what's in store for them. From the system's viewpoint, they absolutely HAVE to die. Obviously, Eiji and Ginji are dead men walking. I would not put it past Cloud (maybe not the Leaf) to kill Tetsuko as well, and to set it up so that Mitsuko has no choice but to become a ninja, as a sad and ironic finish.

- The change of orders. This seems like it should not be shocking, since it's more trouble (and danger) for Yukiko, Seichi, and Kurenai, and more dangerous to the brats. And yet, it shocks because... I'm not sure I can put this into words. Sarutobi has to know he's endangered the group more, and yet he has NO CHOICE, because sending an emergency escort to get Naruto and Sasuke back to the Leaf from that village probably will raise eyebrows somewhere. He has to hope Hidden Cloud don't notice the Uchiha brat (and others) under their noses, but has no reason to expect they will do so, because presumably Hidden Cloud are not stupid. I'm not sure I've said this right.

- The following paragraph is the gem of the scene around it:

>>Kakashi smiled, his eye crinkling into that maddening crescent. "You and Naga would remove each other from the equation, which leaves one jounin with over fifteen years of field experience against two chuunin with less than ten years' experience combined. Do the math."<<

Heehee...

- Everything else.

The agonizing:
- Two+ years of waiting. :(

Thank you still very much! Hopefully, more before 2013! 2011 even!

Re: Hurrah!

[edenfalling]

I am not completely sure yet what will happen to Eiji and his family at the end of the story -- I have three or four options that all make reasonable plot sense, and am trying to decide which one works best thematically with the rest of the story. But yeah, they are in deep trouble, and they know it.

Kakashi mostly writes himself, which is useful for me. :-)

I base my portrayal of Naruto and Sasuke on the kids I teach in Sunday school, with obvious changes due to ninja training, emotional trauma, etc. Still, I am never certain I am striking the right balance between 'kids' and 'trainee ninjas,' so it's a relief to hear they work for you.

Sarutobi's orders are, as I said, basically a giant plot device designed to get all my POV characters to Tengai. But your reasoning is solid; I think I will try to insert a line or two to that effect in the chapter to give support to the idea. Thank you for that!

I am in the process of catching up on canon (because the manga has revealed a bunch of stuff about Hidden Cloud and I want to at least know what I have to build around or contradict), but after that, I should be able to work somewhat faster on the rest of "Guardian." *crosses fingers*