SPN: Withheld
Fandom: Supernatural
Main characters: Dean, Castiel
Referenced characters: N/a
Pairings: Dean/Castiel
Contains: Angst, sex
Rating: R
Summary: It's not that it doesn't mean anything.
Notes: For the Porn Battle.
It's not that it doesn't mean anything. It means a lot, that Dean wants to kiss him, to touch him. Castiel would give him anything, anything in his power, and it kills him when Dean looks at him like this, needy and bewildered. "I like it," he says, softly, brushes his fingers through Dean's short hair, cants his hips to allow Dean's fingers deeper inside him. "I will give you everything I can, Dean."
He can give Dean love. He can even give Dean pleasure. But he can't give him desire, not even now, not even during his long slow fall -- and Castiel wants to say that he'd be happy to lose it, happy to be nothing but human, to give Dean what he wants, and yet...
If he did, in any case, Dean would be angry, would say he always does too much, would stick to his own notions of his unworthiness.
It's good, it's wonderful, to see Dean above him, transported, desperate, gasping -- and Castiel does want to share that with him, to feel it with him, but he doesn't desire it, still doesn't understand the hot greediness of Dean's mouth against his, of Dean's hands on his skin. He wants to, though it frightens him, too.
"I wish -- " Dean says, but bites it off, moves inside him harder and deeper, as though desperate to make him feel something. Castiel takes it, rocks with him, holds him, but he can't, he can't give him this, he can't.
"I'm sorry," he says, in his normal voice, unaffected, when Dean is lying in his arms after. Dean stiffens a little against him, then very deliberately buries his face in Castiel's shoulder.
"I know," Dean says. Nothing more than that.
This was originally posted here, on Dreamwidth.
Main characters: Dean, Castiel
Referenced characters: N/a
Pairings: Dean/Castiel
Contains: Angst, sex
Rating: R
Summary: It's not that it doesn't mean anything.
Notes: For the Porn Battle.
It's not that it doesn't mean anything. It means a lot, that Dean wants to kiss him, to touch him. Castiel would give him anything, anything in his power, and it kills him when Dean looks at him like this, needy and bewildered. "I like it," he says, softly, brushes his fingers through Dean's short hair, cants his hips to allow Dean's fingers deeper inside him. "I will give you everything I can, Dean."
He can give Dean love. He can even give Dean pleasure. But he can't give him desire, not even now, not even during his long slow fall -- and Castiel wants to say that he'd be happy to lose it, happy to be nothing but human, to give Dean what he wants, and yet...
If he did, in any case, Dean would be angry, would say he always does too much, would stick to his own notions of his unworthiness.
It's good, it's wonderful, to see Dean above him, transported, desperate, gasping -- and Castiel does want to share that with him, to feel it with him, but he doesn't desire it, still doesn't understand the hot greediness of Dean's mouth against his, of Dean's hands on his skin. He wants to, though it frightens him, too.
"I wish -- " Dean says, but bites it off, moves inside him harder and deeper, as though desperate to make him feel something. Castiel takes it, rocks with him, holds him, but he can't, he can't give him this, he can't.
"I'm sorry," he says, in his normal voice, unaffected, when Dean is lying in his arms after. Dean stiffens a little against him, then very deliberately buries his face in Castiel's shoulder.
"I know," Dean says. Nothing more than that.
This was originally posted here, on Dreamwidth.