FFVIII: Five Times Squall Says No And Really Means Yes
Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII
Pairing: Squall/Rinoa, Seifer/Squall
Warnings: Angst
Rating: PG
Summary: Squall has issues with letting people know how he feels. For darkranger.
Everybody knows Squall has issues with letting people know what he's really thinking. Everybody forgets that when dealing with him -- even his nearest and dearest, even the ones who claim to know him inside out. Even Rinoa, who should know him best of all: he is, after all, her knight. Or was, anyway, before they argued, before she told him that she never really loved him anyway.
She is (mostly) apologetic, and her eyes are wide and full of tears. She leans against his desk, leaning down to look into his eyes -- so he can't avoid her. "Squall," she says, softly, and there's a sob in her voice somewhere that even he can hear. "Are you still mad at me?"
He does want to say yes, for a moment. He's so mad at her he could destroy the whole room and not feel any better. Promises he made, earnestly, making an effort because for the first time, he felt --
"No," he tells her, and his smile is nothing to what it should be, but it appeases her and she leaves, closing the door behind him.
Cid, perhaps, just doesn't want to notice that "no" sometimes really means "yes". He seems sympathetic enough -- almost fatherly. "I understand how hard it must be for you, losing Rinoa and the link to her as her knight all at once. If you need time off..."
"I'm fine, sir," Squall says, because he is Squall.
"If you need any time off, I'd be happy to grant it," he says, looking as if he would prefer Squall to ask for anything else -- even a promotion to headmaster.
"No," Squall says, even though he has a headache and he feels as though he might crack at any moment. "I'm fine, sir."
When Seifer comes back to Garden, Squall makes an effort to avoid him. Once upon a time between the rivalry and ignoring each other, there'd been an understanding: the last thing Squall wants right now. He's missed it, yes, but right now he's afraid of coming to rely on it, of being let down again. Life is a series of disappointments: he knew that when he was a child, and he's not about to forget it now.
So when Seifer asks if he misses him, crowing a little, he says no, and he says no to duels and he says no to all the things Seifer says and effectively ignores him -- never mind what he might want.
It's the same thing that leads him to reject Laguna's attempts to be a father to him. When he calls, chattering away, Squall listens with half an ear and tries not to feel any affection for him -- not even for his mother's sake, not even for Ellone's sake. There's a long pause, after a while: Squall takes the opportunity to scribble his signature on a few more forms.
"Do you suppose you'll ever forgive me?" Laguna asks, his tone wistful.
"No," Squall says, despite the thought that he already has, that Raine and Ellone would both want him to if they knew. He hears Laguna put the phone down, and simply gets back to work.
Leaving his office, tired, his head aching, Squall knows from the moment Seifer steps up behind him, hands grabbing his arms, that he should be more careful. He stays stiff and tense, his back very straight and his head held up.
"Do you want me?" Seifer asks. For once, Squall can't hear a smirk in his voice -- could guess that, maybe, he's serious.
"No," he says, firmly, though every cell of him wants to melt back into Seifer and rely on someone else for a change.
"I get it," Seifer says, arms around him so tightly he can't struggle. His lips brush the back of Squall's neck, and Squall can tell he's smirking now, pleased with himself for working something out about his former-rival. "You don't like saying yes."
And Squall relaxes into it and wonders why it took someone he considered an enemy for so long to recognise that he lies so often, so constantly. But then, he thinks, perhaps it's only natural: an enemy is used to seeing through your weaknesses rather than playing up your strengths.
Pairing: Squall/Rinoa, Seifer/Squall
Warnings: Angst
Rating: PG
Summary: Squall has issues with letting people know how he feels. For darkranger.
Everybody knows Squall has issues with letting people know what he's really thinking. Everybody forgets that when dealing with him -- even his nearest and dearest, even the ones who claim to know him inside out. Even Rinoa, who should know him best of all: he is, after all, her knight. Or was, anyway, before they argued, before she told him that she never really loved him anyway.
She is (mostly) apologetic, and her eyes are wide and full of tears. She leans against his desk, leaning down to look into his eyes -- so he can't avoid her. "Squall," she says, softly, and there's a sob in her voice somewhere that even he can hear. "Are you still mad at me?"
He does want to say yes, for a moment. He's so mad at her he could destroy the whole room and not feel any better. Promises he made, earnestly, making an effort because for the first time, he felt --
"No," he tells her, and his smile is nothing to what it should be, but it appeases her and she leaves, closing the door behind him.
Cid, perhaps, just doesn't want to notice that "no" sometimes really means "yes". He seems sympathetic enough -- almost fatherly. "I understand how hard it must be for you, losing Rinoa and the link to her as her knight all at once. If you need time off..."
"I'm fine, sir," Squall says, because he is Squall.
"If you need any time off, I'd be happy to grant it," he says, looking as if he would prefer Squall to ask for anything else -- even a promotion to headmaster.
"No," Squall says, even though he has a headache and he feels as though he might crack at any moment. "I'm fine, sir."
When Seifer comes back to Garden, Squall makes an effort to avoid him. Once upon a time between the rivalry and ignoring each other, there'd been an understanding: the last thing Squall wants right now. He's missed it, yes, but right now he's afraid of coming to rely on it, of being let down again. Life is a series of disappointments: he knew that when he was a child, and he's not about to forget it now.
So when Seifer asks if he misses him, crowing a little, he says no, and he says no to duels and he says no to all the things Seifer says and effectively ignores him -- never mind what he might want.
It's the same thing that leads him to reject Laguna's attempts to be a father to him. When he calls, chattering away, Squall listens with half an ear and tries not to feel any affection for him -- not even for his mother's sake, not even for Ellone's sake. There's a long pause, after a while: Squall takes the opportunity to scribble his signature on a few more forms.
"Do you suppose you'll ever forgive me?" Laguna asks, his tone wistful.
"No," Squall says, despite the thought that he already has, that Raine and Ellone would both want him to if they knew. He hears Laguna put the phone down, and simply gets back to work.
Leaving his office, tired, his head aching, Squall knows from the moment Seifer steps up behind him, hands grabbing his arms, that he should be more careful. He stays stiff and tense, his back very straight and his head held up.
"Do you want me?" Seifer asks. For once, Squall can't hear a smirk in his voice -- could guess that, maybe, he's serious.
"No," he says, firmly, though every cell of him wants to melt back into Seifer and rely on someone else for a change.
"I get it," Seifer says, arms around him so tightly he can't struggle. His lips brush the back of Squall's neck, and Squall can tell he's smirking now, pleased with himself for working something out about his former-rival. "You don't like saying yes."
And Squall relaxes into it and wonders why it took someone he considered an enemy for so long to recognise that he lies so often, so constantly. But then, he thinks, perhaps it's only natural: an enemy is used to seeing through your weaknesses rather than playing up your strengths.