Nightmares and phonecalls [jasonlocke]

[eddieboone_tm]

Eddie sat on the porch, leaning against one of the beams and watching the sun go down. He smiled as Jason ruffled his hair and sat next to him. They didn’t say anything. They didn’t need to. Everything was perfect.

Comments

Nightmares and phonecalls

[mark_kosik]

Jason had a DVD on and Colt with Elf sleeping soundly next to him when the unmistakable electronic music of "Take me out to the ball park" erupted on the nightstand next to him. Jason lunged for the phone snatching it up and answering as he headed out of the bedroom into the garden, shutting the glass door behind him.

"Yank?" Jason felt breathless, terrified and giddy all at the same time. Eddie had told him letters only for a while; phone calls MIGHT come into affect towards the end of the month. "Eddie, Baby, are you there?"

Re: Nightmares and phonecalls

[eddieboone_tm]

Eddie closed his eyes, relief flooding through him as he listened to Jason speak. Just a stupid dream. That was all. Breathing out shakily and running a tremblind hand through his hair, Eddie tried to banish the vague memories of the dream away. His hand was throbbing where he'd been biting on it.

"Hey, Jason." He tried for a casual tone. Just calling for a chat. At three in the morning. Just a casual chat. Yeah, right. But his voice was hoarse and unsteady. "Did I wake you?"

Nightmares and phonecalls

[mark_kosik]

"No, no, y'didn't. I don't sleep much now that y'gone. M'not afraid of nightmares I just...Don't sleep well s'all." Jason could feel his hand trembling around his death grip on the cell phone. Eddie! Eddie's voice, Eddie had called him!

Jason's euphoria quickly dampened when reason prodded. "What's wrong, Baby? Tell me, y'sound completely nackered. I want to help."

Re: Nightmares and phonecalls

[eddieboone_tm]

Jason wasn't sleeping well? That made two of them then. "I'm..." fine. That answer was practically instinctive. And not only a lie, but blatantly untrue as well. "I..." What should he say? That he had a stupid nightmare? Eddie ducked his head and then looked about, agitated.

Finally he rubbed his eyes and said quietly, "I just wanted to hear your voice."

Nightmares and phonecalls

[mark_kosik]

Jason exhaled, his eyes flooding with tears. "I wanted t'hear from y'. Baby I've been missing you, y'voice, your kiss, all of you. When can I see y'? I know what y'said, letters first and I know y'need time. I just...want something t'aim for. It sounds stupid but, I do. I need something t'hold on to. Even if it's just a day on the calender that I may or may not see you on. At least, I have a chance yeah?"

Re: Nightmares and phonecalls

[eddieboone_tm]

Closing his eyes, Eddie half listened to what Jason was saying and half listened to him just speaking, the sound of his voice. The details of the dream were fading quickly, but he wasn't going to forget how much it had hurt in a hurry.

See Jason? Christ, he'd thought it would be okay not seeing him. It was only a month or so, not that long in the scheme of things. But he missed him so much. Jason wouldn't see him like this, pathetic and shaking. He had to get things under control. "The fifteenth?" Sounded as good as any other day and that had to be enough time to at least get back on his feet. "I really want to see you too."

Nightmares and phonecalls

[mark_kosik]

Jason did nothing to suppress the shake in his exhale, tears nearly choking him yet this time with relief. "You will, Baby. I'll be there. And if y'have t'send me away on that day because y'not ready, I'll go. Without incident: I promise y'." Jason wiped his cheeks.

"Tell me, Yank. What's wrong? You hitting the wall and got scared? I've seen people go through this so I know a bit 'bout it." However those people he had not been important enough to him enough for him to care if they were addiction free or not. "I don't want t'just cry in you ear and make y'feel bad. I'm all right, Baby, I just....Love you so much and m'here; not with you and I can't hold you or see your face. So y'll have t'tell me. What's going on?"

Re: Nightmares and phonecalls

[eddieboone_tm]

Something to look forward to, something tangible. Not the vague idea of really staying sober, not dreams of him and Jason living together. He would see Jason soon.

Eddie leant his forehead against one hand. His head was aching, his eyes stung, and no matter how tight he wrapped the blanket around his shoulders he couldn't get warm. There wasn't enough energy in him to lie or to come up with some half truths. "I had a dream," he spoke haltingly, his throat tightening again. Too tired to even try and stop the tears. "Everything was perfect...then you were killed..." and there was so much blood "...I just...I wanted to hear your voice."

Nightmares and phonecalls

[mark_kosik]

"It was a dream, Yank. M'here. M'safe. I love you." Jason's free hand clenched into a fist. "I wish I were there t'hold y'. I know the nightmare weren't about y'fish but, I won't go down like that."

Re: Nightmares and phonecalls

[eddieboone_tm]

Oh, the fucking goldfish. Eddie shuddered. Definitely not getting back to sleep any time soon then.

"I know." No, he didn't. Jason didn't know that either. Eddie didn't want to think about it at all though. Better to think about Jason, about being together. He whispered softly, "I love you too."

Nightmares and phonecalls

[mark_kosik]

The words trippled Jason's heartbeat and he couldn't help but smile. "I'll stay on the phone with y'all night if y'want. Keep telling y'I love you, tell y'about anything y'want to hear. I love you, Baby. I can't hold y'but we can talk about this nightmare, figure it out t'gether if y'want to. Just, tell me Yank: tell me what I can do t'make y'feel better."

Re: Nightmares and phonecalls

[eddieboone_tm]

"You're doing it already." Keep talking to me. I don't want to be alone with my thoughts right now. Closing his eyes, he could almost pretend he was back home and talking to Jason on the phone and Jason wasn't that far away at all. "How are you? How's Will?"

Nightmares and phonecalls

[mark_kosik]

Questions from Eddie meant only one thing: he wanted Jason to keep talking. Jason smiled and wiped the tears from his eyes. Eddie told him what he needed and Jason only had to ask once. Perhaps Eddie's time in rehab was helping more than Jason thought it would at first.

"M'struggling. I think the postmen's afraid of me. Nearly tackled him a few times and tried t'shake a letter out of him." Jason laughed softly injecting an air of humor. "I love y'letters you know. I read them til've them memoriezed. I keep them all too. Put them under the rock y'gave me. And this new mate of mine, she- she gave me your rookie year card. And another one. I carry one with me all the time. Had t'start using a wallet again t'protect it. It's stupid but, I realized I don't have any pictures of you. Now, now I do but...I want one that's mine. You know, ours. When I come see you, or when y'get out of rehab we can change that yeah

Re: Nightmares and phonecalls

[eddieboone_tm]

"I know. I'll be back soon. And I'll see you even sooner." I want you here with me too. He'd thought it would be hard staying away but Eddie had decided before he left that he wasn't going to see anyone till he came back. But he couldn't do it. The longer he was without Jason, the worse everything got. The sound of Jason talking had calmed him down, slowed his heart rate and chased some of the haunting details of the dream away.

"Go ahead and have a look around, see if anything catches your eye." It was still amazing to think they might live together like that, still made Eddie warm. "Maybe something that's falling apart so we can fix it all up."

Nightmares and phonecalls

[mark_kosik]

"Yes, Baby. Something we can make ours. I'll start looking." Jason longed to wrap his arms around Eddie and just breathe him in. "Yank, can I really come and see you on the 15th?"

Hope surged and fear tugged at it from behind. --Please say 'yes', Yank. Say YES!--

Re: Nightmares and phonecalls

[eddieboone_tm]

"If you're not doing anythin'." Eddie wondered what the date was now. He had until the fifteenth to stop being such a pathetic wreck. Jason was motivation if nothing else was.