An Honour to Be Trusted
Baby K was born the first week of January but we weren’t able to meet her right away. Not only was she a ferry ride away but I was fighting off my New Year’s Cold and it was holding on with a vengeance. We didn’t want to make Mommy or New Baby sick so we stayed away.
Last week I was finally feeling better so Tina and I made plans to go over and meet the newest member of the family. Originally we were going over Sunday to Wednesday but last minute my schedule for work changed and I had to come back Monday evening. We decided that Tina would stay till Wednesday but I would just get a short visit.
We left the house Sunday at 6:30am in order to have a Tim’s run before catching the 8:30am ferry. We arrived at our destination at noon, very sleepy and very caffeinated. Neither of us had more than 4 hours of sleep the night before. We enjoyed lunch with Tina’s parents then we both took a quick nap before Tina’s brother and his family came over for dinner.
Everyone who knows me knows that I love babies and have longed for one for a very long time. I do not think there is a limit to how long I could sit and hold a sleeping baby. Every time a see a new parent, I can’t help but smile at their precious gift. Sometimes that smile is tainted with a touch of envy, sometimes I can keep my envy in check. I was very excited to spend the evening with Baby K and I was hopeful that she would be comfortable being passed between Tina and I all evening without much need to go back to Mom or Dad. I figured that I would only be seeing her for a couple of hours Sunday night and then maybe a quick hello Monday morning before heading to the ferry, so I wanted to get as many snuggles in as I could.
I had no idea when I got on the ferry Sunday morning that I was about to have one of the most amazing experiences of my life.
I don’t really know whose idea it had been. I don’t know when it was decided or if any of the players had needed some convincing but Tina’s family had conspired to create an amazing and life altering experience for us. I do not know if they truly understand what it all meant to us.
Baby K spent the night with Tina and me. They told us shortly after arriving that K was going to be spending the night. They had brought everything we should need to keep her happy until the next day after breakfast. They gave us instructions of how to make up the bottle and Tina and I hovered while Mommy did a diaper change before leaving.
What a gift. We were so touched that they trusted us to care for their five week old baby overnight. This was the first time that they would be away from their child for more than a couple of hours. I am sure that the fact that the grandparents were asleep a few feet away was a huge contributing factor.
Throughout the visit, K was held by everyone and as the visit neared its end, Mom took her for a final feeding and some goodnight snuggles. Mom started to look like she wanted to change her mind about leaving the baby. I totally understood, Baby K was only 5 weeks old; I would hesitate to leave her no matter who it was that would be taking care of her. Eventually Mom braced herself and passed the baby to Tina.
Here we were, caregivers for the night. It was a little scary and a lot overwhelming at first. We hadn’t had any time to mentally prepare for a baby sleepover and I tell you this- had we known that we were likely going to stay up all night with a 5 week old, we would have gone to bed earlier on Saturday night.
As the evening progressed, we began to relax and enjoy the experience. Baby K is a very good baby and was totally content to be passed between Tina and me. She slept in our arms for a couple of hours while we watched TV and relaxed. When Tina and I were ready to try and get some sleep the baby was still sound asleep. We figured we would sneak her into her sleeping chair and then catch as many zzzs that we could before she woke up. Before going to bed, we had agreed that Tina would get up with her first so that I could get enough sleep since I had to drive home the next day.
Sure enough, as soon as we got settled, Baby K’s eyes popped open and she was wide awake. Tina bundled her up and headed out to the living room. Other than a 3am cry because the bottle just wasn’t heating up fast enough for K’s liking, I was able to sleep deeply for about 4 hours. I awoke to find that Tina and K were still awake. After a diaper change and feeding, we traded off and Tina went to bed for some much needed sleep.
K and I settled in for some post feeding snuggles and she promptly fell asleep. I waited a while to make sure she didn’t wake again and then allowed myself to get some sleep. It was a challenge to go to sleep with K in my arms. I could have stayed awake until breakfast and just watched her sleep but I wasn’t sure how much of an opportunity I would have for sleep again before having to head out. After a short time of sleeping with her on my chest, I moved her to her sleeping chair so that I could change positions more easily and sleep more comfortably. Once at about 9am she fussed a bit then settled down once I had her in my arms again, but otherwise she slept for almost 4 hours for me. Ironically the night that I was watching the baby I got nearly 8 hours of sleep. Tina was not so lucky.
It was an amazing night. I made bottles, I changed diapers, and I made up silly little songs. I cursed myself for bringing my super warm onesie pajamas because a baby on your chest is pretty much a portable personal heater. When K headed home, I was sad to see her go.
I know that what I experienced last night was only a fraction of what real parenthood will be like. (K was an angel the whole time) but none the less, I fell completely in love with that little girl last night. Now that I am sitting in the ferry terminal writing this all down, I am having trouble finding words to describe how I feel. I feel as if I left a piece of myself behind in that living room with that precious baby.
I feel as if I won’t be complete again until I have a child of my own to love the way I was blessed to be able to love that child last night.
I feel honoured that Tina and I were trusted and loved enough to be given the opportunity to be alone with K all night.
I feel proud that we were able to do it without having to wake up Tina’s parents for anything.
I feel more in love with Tina than I have ever been (and that is saying something). Watching her care for that baby touched me so much.
For many, what we did last night is no big deal. They feed, change, and snuggle with their children every day. For those who never had difficulty conceiving, they may not understand just how magical it was to be able to care for a child for longer than a few minutes while Mom does something that requires both hands and the baby doesn’t want to be put down. I am sure that for many who do not want children they will not even be able to imagine why last night was one of the most amazing nights of my life. But I am sure that I am not the only one who has had the feeling of a child asleep their arms and thought, “I will never be the same after this.”
An hour of writing and I still do not feel that I have adequately expressed myself. I may just have to accept that some things cannot really be expressed in words. Those who know what I am trying to say, will know. Tina knows, I am sure.
Last week I was finally feeling better so Tina and I made plans to go over and meet the newest member of the family. Originally we were going over Sunday to Wednesday but last minute my schedule for work changed and I had to come back Monday evening. We decided that Tina would stay till Wednesday but I would just get a short visit.
We left the house Sunday at 6:30am in order to have a Tim’s run before catching the 8:30am ferry. We arrived at our destination at noon, very sleepy and very caffeinated. Neither of us had more than 4 hours of sleep the night before. We enjoyed lunch with Tina’s parents then we both took a quick nap before Tina’s brother and his family came over for dinner.
Everyone who knows me knows that I love babies and have longed for one for a very long time. I do not think there is a limit to how long I could sit and hold a sleeping baby. Every time a see a new parent, I can’t help but smile at their precious gift. Sometimes that smile is tainted with a touch of envy, sometimes I can keep my envy in check. I was very excited to spend the evening with Baby K and I was hopeful that she would be comfortable being passed between Tina and I all evening without much need to go back to Mom or Dad. I figured that I would only be seeing her for a couple of hours Sunday night and then maybe a quick hello Monday morning before heading to the ferry, so I wanted to get as many snuggles in as I could.
I had no idea when I got on the ferry Sunday morning that I was about to have one of the most amazing experiences of my life.
I don’t really know whose idea it had been. I don’t know when it was decided or if any of the players had needed some convincing but Tina’s family had conspired to create an amazing and life altering experience for us. I do not know if they truly understand what it all meant to us.
Baby K spent the night with Tina and me. They told us shortly after arriving that K was going to be spending the night. They had brought everything we should need to keep her happy until the next day after breakfast. They gave us instructions of how to make up the bottle and Tina and I hovered while Mommy did a diaper change before leaving.
What a gift. We were so touched that they trusted us to care for their five week old baby overnight. This was the first time that they would be away from their child for more than a couple of hours. I am sure that the fact that the grandparents were asleep a few feet away was a huge contributing factor.
Throughout the visit, K was held by everyone and as the visit neared its end, Mom took her for a final feeding and some goodnight snuggles. Mom started to look like she wanted to change her mind about leaving the baby. I totally understood, Baby K was only 5 weeks old; I would hesitate to leave her no matter who it was that would be taking care of her. Eventually Mom braced herself and passed the baby to Tina.
Here we were, caregivers for the night. It was a little scary and a lot overwhelming at first. We hadn’t had any time to mentally prepare for a baby sleepover and I tell you this- had we known that we were likely going to stay up all night with a 5 week old, we would have gone to bed earlier on Saturday night.
As the evening progressed, we began to relax and enjoy the experience. Baby K is a very good baby and was totally content to be passed between Tina and me. She slept in our arms for a couple of hours while we watched TV and relaxed. When Tina and I were ready to try and get some sleep the baby was still sound asleep. We figured we would sneak her into her sleeping chair and then catch as many zzzs that we could before she woke up. Before going to bed, we had agreed that Tina would get up with her first so that I could get enough sleep since I had to drive home the next day.
Sure enough, as soon as we got settled, Baby K’s eyes popped open and she was wide awake. Tina bundled her up and headed out to the living room. Other than a 3am cry because the bottle just wasn’t heating up fast enough for K’s liking, I was able to sleep deeply for about 4 hours. I awoke to find that Tina and K were still awake. After a diaper change and feeding, we traded off and Tina went to bed for some much needed sleep.
K and I settled in for some post feeding snuggles and she promptly fell asleep. I waited a while to make sure she didn’t wake again and then allowed myself to get some sleep. It was a challenge to go to sleep with K in my arms. I could have stayed awake until breakfast and just watched her sleep but I wasn’t sure how much of an opportunity I would have for sleep again before having to head out. After a short time of sleeping with her on my chest, I moved her to her sleeping chair so that I could change positions more easily and sleep more comfortably. Once at about 9am she fussed a bit then settled down once I had her in my arms again, but otherwise she slept for almost 4 hours for me. Ironically the night that I was watching the baby I got nearly 8 hours of sleep. Tina was not so lucky.
It was an amazing night. I made bottles, I changed diapers, and I made up silly little songs. I cursed myself for bringing my super warm onesie pajamas because a baby on your chest is pretty much a portable personal heater. When K headed home, I was sad to see her go.
I know that what I experienced last night was only a fraction of what real parenthood will be like. (K was an angel the whole time) but none the less, I fell completely in love with that little girl last night. Now that I am sitting in the ferry terminal writing this all down, I am having trouble finding words to describe how I feel. I feel as if I left a piece of myself behind in that living room with that precious baby.
I feel as if I won’t be complete again until I have a child of my own to love the way I was blessed to be able to love that child last night.
I feel honoured that Tina and I were trusted and loved enough to be given the opportunity to be alone with K all night.
I feel proud that we were able to do it without having to wake up Tina’s parents for anything.
I feel more in love with Tina than I have ever been (and that is saying something). Watching her care for that baby touched me so much.
For many, what we did last night is no big deal. They feed, change, and snuggle with their children every day. For those who never had difficulty conceiving, they may not understand just how magical it was to be able to care for a child for longer than a few minutes while Mom does something that requires both hands and the baby doesn’t want to be put down. I am sure that for many who do not want children they will not even be able to imagine why last night was one of the most amazing nights of my life. But I am sure that I am not the only one who has had the feeling of a child asleep their arms and thought, “I will never be the same after this.”
An hour of writing and I still do not feel that I have adequately expressed myself. I may just have to accept that some things cannot really be expressed in words. Those who know what I am trying to say, will know. Tina knows, I am sure.