"Partly, I think that I like marriage because I like the idea of having a tribe of people, who I get to choose, who act like a cross between a social circle and an extended family. Marriage is one of the few ways I can think of that allows you to formally, publicly, and legally declare that someone is part of your family."
That's pretty much exactly what cee and I intended to accomplish with our wedding, so I don't think it's just self-rationalization on your part. I suspect many other married people sensed the same thing on some level or other - they may not have been as conscious of the significance of their guest lists as representing an extended family, though.
they may not have been as conscious of the significance of their guest lists as representing an extended family, though.
huh. no, i never thought if it explicitly that way. though i was conscious of the social obligation. "i went to your wedding" is a bond that anyone will recognize as having some strength.
only some, though. it's a significant shared experience. but not inherently more important than others, i think. just one of the ties that bind.
Yeah. I have groups of friends that are gone as social entities but which have that kind of pull, at least to me. My high-school crowd has been scattered to the winds and suffered some permanent fights between the principals, but if Dome Boy showed up on my doorstep tomorrow needing a place to stay, I'd do whatever I could.
Speaking as somebody who is not, nor shall ever be, married, I pretty much agree with The Nuclear Pixie. I also "liked" (as in "agreed with", not "am a fan of") fennel's comment that marriage makes you a data point and unwilling "ally" for those with a major agenda for marriage.
(Really frustrating. I think I know fennel, but I cannot for the life of me draw the line from the "people i know" column to the "lj names I know" column. GAH!)
But I also have a lot of problems with marriage. Most of which, I suspect, nobody reading this will disagree with too much. Here goes.
If marriage is a sacred bond, then take your sacred and put in in your church and out of the government's hand. Franky, I feel that they should either remove all laws regarding marriage from the books, thereby making it an entirely personal (and sacred, if you like) choice, or they should allow any two people to enter into a special legal contract called a marriage
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That's pretty much exactly what cee and I intended to accomplish with our wedding, so I don't think it's just self-rationalization on your part. I suspect many other married people sensed the same thing on some level or other - they may not have been as conscious of the significance of their guest lists as representing an extended family, though.
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huh. no, i never thought if it explicitly that way. though i was conscious of the social obligation. "i went to your wedding" is a bond that anyone will recognize as having some strength.
only some, though. it's a significant shared experience. but not inherently more important than others, i think. just one of the ties that bind.
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(Really frustrating. I think I know fennel, but I cannot for the life of me draw the line from the "people i know" column to the "lj names I know" column. GAH!)
But I also have a lot of problems with marriage. Most of which, I suspect, nobody reading this will disagree with too much. Here goes.
If marriage is a sacred bond, then take your sacred and put in in your church and out of the government's hand. Franky, I feel that they should either remove all laws regarding marriage from the books, thereby making it an entirely personal (and sacred, if you like) choice, or they should allow any two people to enter into a special legal contract called a marriage ( ... )
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So back to topic..... sounds a bit like a fraternity, though coven would do nicely as well.
Capt Bad Plan.
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