Characters: OU: Mizuno Ami [PGSM], OPEN
Where: the park, a swingset
When: after
Mercury is shot downSummary: Mercury is ordered to take a hike walk, and does so. She winds up in the park on a swingset.
Azula visits Pharaun visits Usagi (OU, PGSM) visits Kunzite visitsWarnings: emo? dramaz? but moderation in all things.
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No problems here! Problems? What nonsense. )
Perhaps he had decided to go after Endymion. A part of him, she knew, would not be able to wholly rest until that time, until they crossed swords. She tried to filter through her storehouse of medical knowledge for something that might help him to heal more quickly so that it would be less of a problem. Regardless, it was hardly her place to question. He'd made her place quite clear to her by ordering her out: no place, not even her own apartment.
It would have been totally impossible to completely hide that earlier feeling, and she had not. But it would seem there was little wallowing in it, no tantrum or begging or even sullenness. Almost nothing to mark that anything had happened except for that serious, thoughtful demeanor. She greeted him naturally, and paused in case he did expect her to accompany him to wherever. She had obeyed his order, and now she had returned.
It would seem. Somehow, she hated swallowing those sudden catches in her throat, common fare while she had been a sailor senshi and always tasteless. That strange feeling in her stomach had settled into a sort of heaviness. But it was fine. Really, it was fine! The forthrightness, appreciated. The reminder of her true purpose, necessary. Hurt? What nonsense.
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It blew up in his face. Sometime since they'd seen each other last - before he had been brought here, when this version of her had been here for months and he himself was continuing on in his world - she had developed some sort of... compassion, for him. She had admitted such allowed. And the possibility that she had hoped that perhaps he would in turn was... Nonsense, he had said.
Why did she make things complicated, unnecessarily complicated? Don't look at me as a man. When did I ever give you the impression I was capable of caring for you? Foolish girl.
Hmph.
"Where have you been?" He asked bluntly, crossing his arms over his chest and straightening his posture. No, it was no longer suitable to present any signs of vulnerability in front of her. His reputation in her eyes had to once more return to something acceptable.
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And why not? Ordered to go out, why not gravitate towards that spot of nature? Anyone they knew would have. Although she had not gone to the pond this time, as she normally would have, it alone made the park worthwhile for someone like her.
She had not been looking for return of the things she had so foolishly said, no. What had hurt her was that scorn. The same answer, given to her in simple terms instead of sandwiched between insults and that spurning her, she would have not have had this difficulty with.
This difficulty? It was not difficult. Casting off emotions, that was no difficulty. In fact, there were many ways to do it. She almost felt she finally understood Pharaun's claims. I did it because I thought you didn't want me to love you! She hadn't; it had been a foolish act on his part, all of it. Just as she had committed a foolish act. It was better if she just did whatever was necessary to be that fighter, that soldier, that avenger.
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"A long walk," he mused.
So, had she convinced herself she was no more effected by his words than she seemed, or was it genuine? He tilted his chin up slightly, looking at her curiously from his height. This girl... this troublesome girl...
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"Well," she conceded with that faint humor much more typical to her, "The princess appeared. It would have been disrespectful not to greet her!" The tone made it clear in just what manner Mercury had 'greeted' the girl. He probably didn't even need to ask to know it had even gone so far as to be with her sword.
"Seems this one doesn't know me. It was fun!" Fun to see that face, that disbelief, that shock. And she did not say there had been a moment when that girl had called her Ami-chan and she had hated her all the more for it, for being so naive and sheltered and loved while Mercury had only this to return to.
Only this to return to? What nonsense. What else did she need?
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So that's what she had been doing with her time. He found his displeasure starting to crack in favor of something akin to grudging acceptance. "I hope you didn't have too much fun, hm? I wouldn't want her to start crying at the sight of you so soon and I'd have missed it."
No, such would be a genuine loss. It wouldn't be enough to see the Princess fall to her knees with a sword through her chest, alone; he wanted her to suffer for her stupidity, her selfishness, her betrayal as well as the master's. She would suffer just as much as he had, and, he admitted, Mercury had as well. As she was now, she no longer stood to be an irritating knife in his side as she vied for power and control. She would be - if anything - a worthwhile accomplice, an aid to see their goal through to fruition. She wouldn't stand in his way.
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But I thought we were friends! What nonsense. Lies.
And with the thought that it was nonsense, the thought that it was not nonsense, the thought she didn't want it to be nonsense, the thought that nonsense seemed...nice (if only it weren't lies!) she suddenly had that stomach-feeling again and had she been alone, might have given in enough to be blinking back a very annoying sensation.
"We should just focus on how to defeat her," Mercury said. "She doesn't know me, and she doesn't know she's the princess. But, here, others who know about our worlds will tell her. The chances of her not awakening that power are zero. So anything needs to be done quickly."
She didn't want to be drawn into joking and playfulness. If she was just meant to be a weapon, meant to be nothing else, she didn't want those moments of something akin to agreeableness to humiliate (she was not hurt!) her again.
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He almost wanted to say that he would leave this particular one up to her; even if he didn't wish to indulge in any relations of a 'personable' nature, he trusted her and knew her to be capable. Perhaps it would satisfy her in some way to be given the duty herself.
He shifted his weight to the other foot, idleness reawakening the annoying sensation at his middle. "Let's walk as we talk, hm?" He wasn't about to go back up those steps again so soon after making it down; he gestured into the streets and moved ahead without waiting to see if she'd oblige.
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They walked, Mercury and Kunzite, through the streets and she told him relevant details about the various buildings they passed and the condition of this city since the hasty evacuation from the former compound.
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Because she was useful? That had been the primary reason, of that, there was no denying. But beneath that, he had gone to pains to protect his precocious servant, his play-thing senshi, back then. He had developed some attachment to the amusement she provided, not her, he reasoned with himself. Such was natural in the Dark Kingdom, where the only others to provide any sort of intellectual conversation might as well be the rocks beneath their feet for their worth. Jadeite, naive and desperate to gain Beryl's acceptance. Nephrite, the same. And Zoisite, so closely following in the Master's heels he was surprised he managed to prevent becoming stepped on sooner.
In mid-stride he came to a stop, arms folded over his chest, and simply looked at her in silence.
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Mercury stopped as Kunzite did, then, giving him a questioning glance.
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"Why do you question my care for you?" He asked plainly, not about to tip-toe around the subject now. If she was satisfied with whatever conclusions she'd drawn regarding the matter, Kunzite wasn't. And he wasn't about to have her walking around with meddlesome misconceptions in her head that could possibly mar the outcome of everything at a crucial moment. The greater picture included both of them, and he wouldn't have trivial nonsense clouding either of their judgments. You aren't the person I thought you to be. This change in you... what should I do with it?
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She saw both herself. In just a day, they'd formed some new strange angle to their...whatever it was. They'd argued and he'd hurt her. They'd planned their plans together. They'd fallen asleep together in that surreal setting. She'd made him breakfast and taken care of him. He'd complimented her. He had thrown her away. So which was the truth? 'You're saying I'm both.' 'You're both. Your decisions are yours.'
Both?
Why?
She didn't want to be a fool. That was why, too. Nephrite, Jadeite, Zoisite, they followed so blindly and it wasn't because of their leader's goals - Beryl did value the planet in the end - but because they cared and she used that, that all of them were hurt. Mercury did not want to be another fool, following Kunzite just to be hurt by him.
Her wrist and abdomen, and that strange feeling in her stomach, might have suggested this was already happening. She did not consult them.
And they hadn't cared, the sailor senshi. I'm sorry I didn't notice... They hadn't even noticed! And she wanted to know: Would he? And she meant 'cared' in its most basic sense: Did it make any difference at all? It was not affection, not some warm-hearted feeling, just simply that: Do I have a place and am I important? That feeling welled up again with all of these thoughts.
But, how was it even remotely possible to say all of this? To say any of it?!
"I just wanted to know." He'd never be satisfied with that. "I wanted to know, am I a fool?"
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Am I a fool?
Part of him wanted to reply with a blunt 'yes;' such things shouldn't matter and she was a fool if she let them. Feelings played no part on the battlefield, and never would. However, beneath that, Kunzite knew and always had that beneath her part as a senshi, she was a girl, a girl who was very human. She was not the cold-hearted warrior she wished she could sculpt herself to be - she was still capable of compassion and human emotion, still capable of caring for others and likely desired to be cared for in return.
That was plain enough.
"Are you not capable of making that judgment yourself?" He asked with that slight frown returning. "Are you going to allow yourself to be shaped by your worth in other's eyes? If that's the case, then perhaps you are a fool. Even so, I had always thought you far more intelligent than that." He took a step beyond her, tilting his head skyward and exhaling a quiet sigh - so troublesome, this one. "I told you before - you're a strong, capable woman, and I wouldn't continue to associate myself with you even here if I believed otherwise." And the question of my caring for you, are you telling me it was unrelated to it's simplest interpretation?
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They could move on. Mercury started walking again, and she was holding her head a little higher, as better befitted the strong senshi she was even if that senshi wasn't cold-hearted. There was a little smile at the lips. It was a little startling because he was saying that she shouldn't even be concerned with his view of her over her own. Your decisions are yours. He was saying that, too, in essence, if she only ultimately had to answer to herself.
And it was possible to follow him without being a slave; that thought which had taken root in her some time ago was also growing. It was still true that, ultimately, he had a great deal of power over her if he chose. But it was also true that it was her own mind that had chosen to follow him willingly, in possession of information and facts that had led her to conclude that was the best path. It was her own heart that cared about his well-being.
What nonsense. Had the nonsense not been her caring, or even her wondering whether he did, but letting herself dwell on it, looking to him for too many of her answers? Somehow that idea came to her mind, and if it was not precisely what he'd meant, she felt it might have been close somehow.
"Kunzite," she said after a moment. "Thank you for answering me."
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And as easily as that, it was time to change the subject. The previous matter was dropped and pushed to the side in preference of others. There were things that had to be done, and on the top of the list was his recovery; he knew walking about the compound was not exactly conducive of the healing process, but what choice had he had? If he'd remained in that apartment one second longer, he'd likely have broken something - or someone - he shouldn't.
And he certainly wasn't sitting to await the arrival of any other unexpected and unwanted shitennou. Ironic, that. Who would come to him next, the master? He almost quirked a smirk at the thought.
"Let's return, now that the matter is settled. And in the future, try to avoid allowing yourself to entertain foolish thoughts, hm?" He laid his hand lightly on her shoulder, gesturing with his free hand in the direction of the apartments.
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