(no subject)
frustrated and happy. maybe one because of the other. i am asleep inside for now, but my eyes won't be for a little bit. and still we scream inside to get it out. facing forward and letting it go, but we musn't wake the neighbours, so we whisper it instead. sometimes that's not good enough, but it'll have to do for now.
there is no news. not of importance, anyway. sometimes that's a good thing, depending on the perspective. i had to go down to the river the other day to let a little friend go. sad, but still a release. we don't like the suffering, as much as it might inspire us at times. love inspires more, even for the dead. it's morbid, we know, but it is part of our little universe and so we must look at it and face it and hold it dear for what it is. as i let it go, i still hold it inside and i've always got that. maybe it's beautiful in its own way. i think maybe it is. from a rat to a fish. and then who knows what's next?
in our little cage today i find a clipping, a reminder. i musn't forget and i won't. i filed it away to remind me later, just in case we start to want to forget. i shouldn't forget, because it was beautiful and dear. while i wasn't paying attention, a little bird flew off on its own, but i didn't realise until it was gone already. the window is always open a little though, in case it wants to come sit on the sill for a while. and there will always be something to eat and someplace warm to dry its wings for awhile.
the laundry was filthy but washed now. and my eyes are ready to rest.