(no subject)
i did it again!
i won't ever learn, really.
hes still seeing her....least thats the way it seems...so why does he have to lie to me? just tell me to fuck off and he can prance around with her as much as he fuckin wants.
hes really good at makin me feel like an ass.
right now i feel like disapearing....cuz once again it feels like anything thats meant anything to me....means nothing...absolutely nothing.
my year is going great. sam gets me in trouble with the cops, i total my car, i start to hate my bestfriend, my old bestfriend is a dumb bitch, and again i fall for bullshit lies again. argh. i just wanna kill myself. im sick of games. im sick of him questioning me if i trust him or not. i guess i cant. i have no reason to trust him. im really dumb.
this morning too, i felt bad cuz he said hes been down lately.....
uh huh...right. so i guess ignoring ppl means that he spends time with her?
i can't take anymore. why do i always get trampled on? if you're gonna do it, fine...then do it...but please, after you're done....find someone else to walk on. once is enough.
my week has crashed. i was happy for awhile lastnight...tho that was only when i was drinking and didn't have to take care of heidi's dumbass...i know this week isn't going to be anything but smoking pot and sleeping. i have no desire to do anything but dwell in my own sorrow and stupidity. to top today off....i got my bill from the accident....the telephone pole...GUESS how much it is???????????? 2,400!! for a fucking pole!? they charged me cuz it took 5 guys, and they had to dig into the ground...blah blah, bring out a truck and it was while they were off work. FUCK YOU. Im not your boss, I don't pay you. im really pissed off.
im not going to ohio anymore. heidi can go if she wants...or i'll go if it'll only take a day or two...but i dont really wanna go anymore. right now i just wanna leave...tho i cant even if i wanted to now....this will all pay off soon. i'll move....by myself....far away. i don't wanna deal with anyone anymore...just myself....im sick of breaking down and falling for the same bullshit. i cant keep my head on straight.
yea, i feel like a huge piece of shit.
im gonna go lay in my bed and cry until i fall asleep....n stay there til tomorow morning.
i won't ever learn, really.
hes still seeing her....least thats the way it seems...so why does he have to lie to me? just tell me to fuck off and he can prance around with her as much as he fuckin wants.
hes really good at makin me feel like an ass.
right now i feel like disapearing....cuz once again it feels like anything thats meant anything to me....means nothing...absolutely nothing.
my year is going great. sam gets me in trouble with the cops, i total my car, i start to hate my bestfriend, my old bestfriend is a dumb bitch, and again i fall for bullshit lies again. argh. i just wanna kill myself. im sick of games. im sick of him questioning me if i trust him or not. i guess i cant. i have no reason to trust him. im really dumb.
this morning too, i felt bad cuz he said hes been down lately.....
uh huh...right. so i guess ignoring ppl means that he spends time with her?
i can't take anymore. why do i always get trampled on? if you're gonna do it, fine...then do it...but please, after you're done....find someone else to walk on. once is enough.
my week has crashed. i was happy for awhile lastnight...tho that was only when i was drinking and didn't have to take care of heidi's dumbass...i know this week isn't going to be anything but smoking pot and sleeping. i have no desire to do anything but dwell in my own sorrow and stupidity. to top today off....i got my bill from the accident....the telephone pole...GUESS how much it is???????????? 2,400!! for a fucking pole!? they charged me cuz it took 5 guys, and they had to dig into the ground...blah blah, bring out a truck and it was while they were off work. FUCK YOU. Im not your boss, I don't pay you. im really pissed off.
im not going to ohio anymore. heidi can go if she wants...or i'll go if it'll only take a day or two...but i dont really wanna go anymore. right now i just wanna leave...tho i cant even if i wanted to now....this will all pay off soon. i'll move....by myself....far away. i don't wanna deal with anyone anymore...just myself....im sick of breaking down and falling for the same bullshit. i cant keep my head on straight.
yea, i feel like a huge piece of shit.
im gonna go lay in my bed and cry until i fall asleep....n stay there til tomorow morning.