Miley #1
This is Miley.
You may remember her, she's been around awhile.
She was born in game, with her twin sister Heidi, who died on purpose tragically in a fire in college.
Miley was a just young 'un when she met Riley McSkittles.
She was a goner from their first kiss.
This continued all through college, even though Miley knew about Riley and his many women.
But Miley finally reached her breaking point soon after graduation and broke it off with Riley for good.
He left her for his pregnant girlfriend, Cecelia.
And so, free of Riley, Miley decided she needed a fresh change. (Interpretation=a new man.) So she called the Matchmaker.
The matchmaker poofed Reed Akerman out of thin air for Miley's date. At first things seemed to be moving along nicely. Reed looked appropriately interested during Miley's stories...
And took her vicious pillow fight attacks like a man.
Reed: Waaa, who knew slamming somone with pillows could be so f-ing awesome!?
But alas, Miley remembered Reed's fling with her best friend Gemma in college and sent him on his way. Chicks before dicks, you know?
Feeling lonesome after her disappointing date, Miley gave into temptation and called Riley up on the phone.
Miley: Oh, Riley, you sound so sexy on the phone... *sigh*
Since he hadn't gotten any in awhile, being in a relationship with a crabby pregnant woman and all, Riley came running. Fast.
Things were okay at first, the two of them joking like a couple of old friends.
But it wasn't long till Miley found herself in a familiar situation...
Miley: This is bad! Bad, bad, bad...oh crap, who cares?
I think we all know what's going on here...
...About five seconds before Riley got up and left. I'm not kidding, she fell asleep and he was outta there.
Well, that pissed Miley off, so here she is stealing Riley and Cecelia's newspaper.
There are a few things you should know about Miley.
Like first of all, she (thinks she) is the female Eminem.
She invites her friends, who are just as white and nerdy as she is, over for free styling parties.
They seriously stood there and did this for five sim hours. Five!
She likes to perform stand-up comedy in her sweatpants when she's home alone.
She is a bad-ass cook. I mean it.
She loves picking on her big brother, Samson.
Miley: Ha! That's what you get! You look like a tool in that hard hat!
But don't worry, Samson always gets her back.
It wasn't long before Miley found herself bowing down before the toliet god.
Right after puking her brains out, Miley goes and kisses her sister-in-law. Without brushing her teeth! Not even a mint!
That's just not right.
I blame it on Miley's breath.
Miley seemed a little too pleased with this love letter from Reed, so I had her call up the Matchmaker for round two (and three and four).
Miley: Here's $3500, I need a maaaan!
And now for the Miley Lemke edition of MTV's Next.
....Are you kidding me? Look at that face. Nexxxxxxxt!
...I just thought this picture was cute...
Next up's the mail man.
Eh, not too bad, nice red hair, seems nice, freakishly large nose...but I guess beggars can't be choosers, right? We'll give him a chance.
Five seconds later.
Next!
Miley gives the Matchmaker one more chance.
Miley: Woo, I think I can see my dream man in your shiny ball!
And out of sky falls Jimmy Phoenix. Pretty sweet name, huh?
Miley gets right to business.
Miley: Hey, so you wouldn't happen to like strange loopy pigtails, big green eyes, oddball senses of humor and bad ass cooking skills, would you?
Jimmy: Are you kidding?! I love strange loopy pigtails, big green eyes, oddball senses of humor and bad ass cooking skills! Bring it on, baby!
There's a few things Miley needs to find out before she proceeds with Jimmy. Like, if he can play catch, for instance. You know, the important things.
Miley: WTF, Jimmy? You really suck!
...she seems to be okay with the fact that he totally sucks at baseball.
Miley: Come on, sit down! This is going to be freaking sweet, I swear!
Though Jimmy looks skeptical, he sucks it up and becomes Miley's first makeover.
Jimmy: Do you make all your dates get makeovers?
Jimmy: Holy hell, who knew I was so sexy?!
Miley gives Jimmy her best line, and he swoons appropriately. Hey, she didn't spend all that time with Riley without picking up a few good lines.
And of course, because this is Miley we're talking about, they have a pillowfight.
Then, suddenly the pillowfight stops...
...and POP!
Miley: OH MY GOD, where did that come from?!
Jimmy: I just remembered...I, uh...well, I...um, I gotta go.
If you read, please leave me a comment! Even if it's something you don't thnk is worth writing...I'd love to hear any feedback! This is my first time ever doing this :)