Fucking psych appointments...
Well boos and ghouls I ventured to the psych's office the other day...big mistake there...
At first it was all okay, she changed the dosage of my meds to something a little lower because of the side effects it was having on me and also told me to take them in the morning because apparently they have a tendancy to keep people awake (why the fuck am I only being told this now!?! meh anyway...). Then she goes on to ask about what I eat because she thinks that may be one of the reasons that I am having such bad side effects from the meds (I try to tell her that my diet hasn't changed since I was in like grade 8 - so thats what...7 years - and recently is the only time meds have started giving me really bad side effects but anyway) and so she says that I am eating too many carbohydrates (sorry I don't buy into the whole 'too many carbohydrates makes you depressed theory') and that I need to eat more fruit, veggies, milk, eggs, lentils (how the fuck are you supposed to eat lentils anyway!?!), etc and that my body isn't getting enough nutrients and that if I don't change my diet then she will put me on the tube dealie that goes into your nose and down your throat and pumps food into your stomach. I was like 'HAH! Like hell you will!' and so I have been eating so much fruit, veggies and vegetarian meat replacement foods and drinking fruit juice and taking vitamins. But I am still worried that when I go back in 6 weeks she will say that I have not been doing enough and put me on the tube anyway.
I mean I am not dangerously underweight (okay I know I am underweight but I always have been...even when I was living with Kris and gained like 8 kg) so they section me (meaning they can't send me to the hospital and get it done without my permission) and I am over 18 which means that they need my permission to do anything to me. Hell the only way that they will ever get that tube in me is to prove that I am endangering my life, get my parents and two doctors to agree, sign me into the hospital, knock me out and put it in me because if I was concious then I would rip that fucker out...I don't care how much it hurts...if I have tried to change my diet (which I wanted to do anyway...I guess this is a good excuse to do it now rather than going meh I'll do it later) and been doing what they told me to yet they still put me on the tube because they are doing it 'in my best interests' or something like that well I will not stand for it! I mean I only go to the psych because it means my mum doesn't worry about me and they can give me the medication that I need and change it quicker than my gp can. Hell if worse comes to worse then I will just leave that psych and go to a different one, get that second opinion on the Gold Coast.
I am kinda scared, but mostly pissed off.
At first it was all okay, she changed the dosage of my meds to something a little lower because of the side effects it was having on me and also told me to take them in the morning because apparently they have a tendancy to keep people awake (why the fuck am I only being told this now!?! meh anyway...). Then she goes on to ask about what I eat because she thinks that may be one of the reasons that I am having such bad side effects from the meds (I try to tell her that my diet hasn't changed since I was in like grade 8 - so thats what...7 years - and recently is the only time meds have started giving me really bad side effects but anyway) and so she says that I am eating too many carbohydrates (sorry I don't buy into the whole 'too many carbohydrates makes you depressed theory') and that I need to eat more fruit, veggies, milk, eggs, lentils (how the fuck are you supposed to eat lentils anyway!?!), etc and that my body isn't getting enough nutrients and that if I don't change my diet then she will put me on the tube dealie that goes into your nose and down your throat and pumps food into your stomach. I was like 'HAH! Like hell you will!' and so I have been eating so much fruit, veggies and vegetarian meat replacement foods and drinking fruit juice and taking vitamins. But I am still worried that when I go back in 6 weeks she will say that I have not been doing enough and put me on the tube anyway.
I mean I am not dangerously underweight (okay I know I am underweight but I always have been...even when I was living with Kris and gained like 8 kg) so they section me (meaning they can't send me to the hospital and get it done without my permission) and I am over 18 which means that they need my permission to do anything to me. Hell the only way that they will ever get that tube in me is to prove that I am endangering my life, get my parents and two doctors to agree, sign me into the hospital, knock me out and put it in me because if I was concious then I would rip that fucker out...I don't care how much it hurts...if I have tried to change my diet (which I wanted to do anyway...I guess this is a good excuse to do it now rather than going meh I'll do it later) and been doing what they told me to yet they still put me on the tube because they are doing it 'in my best interests' or something like that well I will not stand for it! I mean I only go to the psych because it means my mum doesn't worry about me and they can give me the medication that I need and change it quicker than my gp can. Hell if worse comes to worse then I will just leave that psych and go to a different one, get that second opinion on the Gold Coast.
I am kinda scared, but mostly pissed off.