A few [not so quick] things...
Why do I always post late at night?
I Just wanted to say a couple of random things to clear/understand my mind. I apologize if this journal seems jumpy, bare with me. I have a lot on my mind.
Sometimes, life is about right and wrong. 2+4=6 is right. Someone running a red light and hitting you is in the wrong. But most of the time life is about coming to an understanding on how another person feels. It's about meeting that person half way about how they're feeling and about how you're feeling. Then, seeing what kind of changes can be made or can't be made and accepting those changes or accepting the lack of the ability to make change. It's like the serenity prayer.. accepting that which we can't change, having the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to tell the difference. That's how we get shit accomplished. Communication is the key. Holding things inside becomes pointless after a while, especially when one hopes for change in a relationship. As much as I wish I could, I nor anyone else can read another's mind. People don't know what's bothering you unless you tell someone. People can't even attempt to make change until you communicate to someone the problem.
These may seem like very simple things or even obvious things, but they are things that people often forget. They're things that leads to friends/couples having fights or even ending their friendship. Basically, if you feel a certain way about somebody, tell them. You'll have more problems in the long road if you don't. Trust me, I've been a victim.
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Why is it that some people respond differently to others? I respond a lot differently to my mom than my dad. My mom will ask me to do something and it'll take me years to do it. My dad will ask me to do the exact same thing and I'll get up and do it. And even though parents are different than friends, I believe friends react the same way. Friend A will ask Friend B to do something and Friend B will say no. But Friend C will ask Friend B to do the same thing and Friend B will say yes. And it seems that Friend A, B and C are all on the same level in terms of friendship with no tension. Or are they? (Btw, the word "friend" looks awkard especially when the "f" is capitalized.
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Why do some friends hold other friends closer to them than they really should but not keep those that they should keep close closer? I really do think that sometimes we lose sight of those people in our lives that are most important to us. Sometimes we are distant from those people we should be closer to and closer to those we should probably be distant from. And yes, sometimes I'm just as guilty as others.
______
I hate how I can't be the initiator in friendships. And I apologize now to those who realize it. It's my biggest personality/friendship flaw. It's been a problem since sophomore year and it's still happening. People call me to go to lunch. People call me to hang out. I don't call people to do this/that. And the solution sounds easy.. call/txt/IM your friend and initiate, but I don't and I think it's because I've always been able to rely on other people to do it for me. And people have been pointing that out to me for years and I kinda brushed it off, usually because I kinda have to defend myself. It seems as if I don't care about my friends as much as they care about me and it's not that way at all. And it finally took someone to say to me politely "I wish that you weren't that way, especially as my best friend" instead of accusing me of being that way and accusing me of not valuing their friendship to actually sit down and think "damn" to myself. However, I promise I'll work on it cause although it's not a huge issue with my friends, and those several people (specifically, 4) people who have realized it accept this about me, it's not fair to them. :\
My father always said the best thing in life is watching a child grow up. My grandmother always said the best thing in life is the wisdom you gain from life. The best thing in life is watching yourself gain wisdom from life.
I Just wanted to say a couple of random things to clear/understand my mind. I apologize if this journal seems jumpy, bare with me. I have a lot on my mind.
Sometimes, life is about right and wrong. 2+4=6 is right. Someone running a red light and hitting you is in the wrong. But most of the time life is about coming to an understanding on how another person feels. It's about meeting that person half way about how they're feeling and about how you're feeling. Then, seeing what kind of changes can be made or can't be made and accepting those changes or accepting the lack of the ability to make change. It's like the serenity prayer.. accepting that which we can't change, having the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to tell the difference. That's how we get shit accomplished. Communication is the key. Holding things inside becomes pointless after a while, especially when one hopes for change in a relationship. As much as I wish I could, I nor anyone else can read another's mind. People don't know what's bothering you unless you tell someone. People can't even attempt to make change until you communicate to someone the problem.
These may seem like very simple things or even obvious things, but they are things that people often forget. They're things that leads to friends/couples having fights or even ending their friendship. Basically, if you feel a certain way about somebody, tell them. You'll have more problems in the long road if you don't. Trust me, I've been a victim.
______
Why is it that some people respond differently to others? I respond a lot differently to my mom than my dad. My mom will ask me to do something and it'll take me years to do it. My dad will ask me to do the exact same thing and I'll get up and do it. And even though parents are different than friends, I believe friends react the same way. Friend A will ask Friend B to do something and Friend B will say no. But Friend C will ask Friend B to do the same thing and Friend B will say yes. And it seems that Friend A, B and C are all on the same level in terms of friendship with no tension. Or are they? (Btw, the word "friend" looks awkard especially when the "f" is capitalized.
______
Why do some friends hold other friends closer to them than they really should but not keep those that they should keep close closer? I really do think that sometimes we lose sight of those people in our lives that are most important to us. Sometimes we are distant from those people we should be closer to and closer to those we should probably be distant from. And yes, sometimes I'm just as guilty as others.
______
I hate how I can't be the initiator in friendships. And I apologize now to those who realize it. It's my biggest personality/friendship flaw. It's been a problem since sophomore year and it's still happening. People call me to go to lunch. People call me to hang out. I don't call people to do this/that. And the solution sounds easy.. call/txt/IM your friend and initiate, but I don't and I think it's because I've always been able to rely on other people to do it for me. And people have been pointing that out to me for years and I kinda brushed it off, usually because I kinda have to defend myself. It seems as if I don't care about my friends as much as they care about me and it's not that way at all. And it finally took someone to say to me politely "I wish that you weren't that way, especially as my best friend" instead of accusing me of being that way and accusing me of not valuing their friendship to actually sit down and think "damn" to myself. However, I promise I'll work on it cause although it's not a huge issue with my friends, and those several people (specifically, 4) people who have realized it accept this about me, it's not fair to them. :\
My father always said the best thing in life is watching a child grow up. My grandmother always said the best thing in life is the wisdom you gain from life. The best thing in life is watching yourself gain wisdom from life.