I really always knew that my little crime would be cold that's why I got a heater for your thighs.
I feel like I haven't updated this in ages but it's really only been about a week.
**
So, SAS training was fucking awesome. The facility is in the Prudential Towers, so right off Millennium Park. There were fantastic views of Lake Michigan from every window. In the mornings, they provided breakfast and we got free beverages and candy throughout the day. In the afternoon break, they put out all kinds of desserts. We got an hour for lunch and our instructor let us out early every day. In fact, on Friday, he let us out at 12:30pm. I am so spoiled from this that I really don't know how I'm going to go back to work on Monday where it's back to being treated like a normal employee instead of royalty.
**
Backing up a bit, while every other person in America had the day off, I had to go into work on Monday. My dad had it off, of course. Anyway, I come home from work and my mom's like, "You'll never believe this, but Dad bought us a new bedroom set and this guy from Lowe's is coming tomorrow to measure us for a new kitchen." I almost dropped dead from shock.
You see, my dad is very fiscally conservative. He grew up dirt poor and so has this constant fear that everything will be ripped out from underneath him at any moment. With any purchase over $100, he will weight the pros and cons for weeks if not months. He is not an impulse buyer. Not by a long shot. So to come home to find that he bought thousands of dollars worth of furniture out of the blue was quite a shock, you see.
The kitchen thing was slightly more expected as mom and I have already started the process of remodeling things ourselves. We really never expected Dad to pay for someone else to do the whole thing though. We thought maybe he'd get someone to put in a new floor or something.
Skipping forward a bit, last night, my dad took Mom and me to Lowe's where we sat down with a kitchen expert and he used a CAD program to show us what he could do with our kitchen. By the way, our kitchen is a classical galley kitchen, meaning that it is long and narrow. So he's like inserting cabinets and counters and all this and we're watching and my mom is gripping my hand in a death-lock because being around my dad when he's making monetary decisions makes her a nervous wreck. When the guy is done and we get the estimate ($13,000) my dad says…
"Great! When can they come to install?"
I thought my mom was going to have a heart attack. Instead, she started crying and then I had to walk her around the store because I think she was in shock. I really don't think she snapped out of it until we were at the bar at Buca di Bepo and she had knocked back a Whiskey Sour.
Now my parents are at Lowe's again to buy some fancy old-fashioned tin press wall covering that also costs an arm and a leg.
I seriously want to know who this pod-person is who obviously replaced my dad.
**
Also, open letter:
Dear Males of the Species,
Sitting next to your male friend on the train does not make you look gay. Even if it did, if you're comfortable in your sexuality, you shouldn't really care. Please stop taking up more seats than you need just because you have some out-dated notion of manliness stuck in your head. I would really like to not have to stand for the entire two hour train ride.
Yours in Commuter Hell,
Kerry
**
PS-I cannot stop listening to this song. Thanks, turnpike!
PPS-I've started DVR'ing and watching episodes of Make Me a Supermodel. Holy softcore gay porn, Batman! Thanks to robanybody for telling me about it!
PPPS-Definitely, Maybe is such a cute movie. <3 Ryan Reynolds.
**
So, SAS training was fucking awesome. The facility is in the Prudential Towers, so right off Millennium Park. There were fantastic views of Lake Michigan from every window. In the mornings, they provided breakfast and we got free beverages and candy throughout the day. In the afternoon break, they put out all kinds of desserts. We got an hour for lunch and our instructor let us out early every day. In fact, on Friday, he let us out at 12:30pm. I am so spoiled from this that I really don't know how I'm going to go back to work on Monday where it's back to being treated like a normal employee instead of royalty.
**
Backing up a bit, while every other person in America had the day off, I had to go into work on Monday. My dad had it off, of course. Anyway, I come home from work and my mom's like, "You'll never believe this, but Dad bought us a new bedroom set and this guy from Lowe's is coming tomorrow to measure us for a new kitchen." I almost dropped dead from shock.
You see, my dad is very fiscally conservative. He grew up dirt poor and so has this constant fear that everything will be ripped out from underneath him at any moment. With any purchase over $100, he will weight the pros and cons for weeks if not months. He is not an impulse buyer. Not by a long shot. So to come home to find that he bought thousands of dollars worth of furniture out of the blue was quite a shock, you see.
The kitchen thing was slightly more expected as mom and I have already started the process of remodeling things ourselves. We really never expected Dad to pay for someone else to do the whole thing though. We thought maybe he'd get someone to put in a new floor or something.
Skipping forward a bit, last night, my dad took Mom and me to Lowe's where we sat down with a kitchen expert and he used a CAD program to show us what he could do with our kitchen. By the way, our kitchen is a classical galley kitchen, meaning that it is long and narrow. So he's like inserting cabinets and counters and all this and we're watching and my mom is gripping my hand in a death-lock because being around my dad when he's making monetary decisions makes her a nervous wreck. When the guy is done and we get the estimate ($13,000) my dad says…
"Great! When can they come to install?"
I thought my mom was going to have a heart attack. Instead, she started crying and then I had to walk her around the store because I think she was in shock. I really don't think she snapped out of it until we were at the bar at Buca di Bepo and she had knocked back a Whiskey Sour.
Now my parents are at Lowe's again to buy some fancy old-fashioned tin press wall covering that also costs an arm and a leg.
I seriously want to know who this pod-person is who obviously replaced my dad.
**
Also, open letter:
Dear Males of the Species,
Sitting next to your male friend on the train does not make you look gay. Even if it did, if you're comfortable in your sexuality, you shouldn't really care. Please stop taking up more seats than you need just because you have some out-dated notion of manliness stuck in your head. I would really like to not have to stand for the entire two hour train ride.
Yours in Commuter Hell,
Kerry
**
PS-I cannot stop listening to this song. Thanks, turnpike!
PPS-I've started DVR'ing and watching episodes of Make Me a Supermodel. Holy softcore gay porn, Batman! Thanks to robanybody for telling me about it!
PPPS-Definitely, Maybe is such a cute movie. <3 Ryan Reynolds.