I knew the flat had to have something wrong with it....
[Level - B2 (now public)]
Well. That was an interesting night!
I got in, got sorted and changed and nearly make-upped when ulfilias arrived, having tried to call me a number of times. Despite standing in the same room, with my phone indicating it had full signal, he still couldn’t get through. Oddly, I’ve not had a text from my voicemail to let me know I’ve got messages, thus proving my point that my phone, because it is mine, is prone to nonsensical technological quirks. This also serves as a reminder that if you call and go through to answer-phone, you’re all probably better off texting instead! Which is handy because I rarely listen to my voicemails as I have a habit of forgetting all about it unless my phone reminds me, which it rarely does. Ho hum.
Anyway, crisis averted, we headed off to The Wrestlers for rather tasty thai food. Now, The Wrestlers IS a pub. But it serves only thai food. I discovered it some years back (just before Christmas, whilst I was working for Balfours, the year Jo gave me my utterly gorgeous picture which was after the June in which Mum bought me the fairy book which I think must be three years ago but I'll eventually figure it out and find the blasted post!) and haven’t been since despite meaning to. I’ll be back more quickly next time. What started as a small gathering quickly expanded in numbers and thankfully the staff realised that we were going to need a larger table for our amassing throng, so removed the ‘reserved’ sign from a large table, added more tables to it and the 12 of us fitted quite nicely - just!
Then it was off to see Last July at the Cornerhouse. alixandrea sang through technical hitches and despite the sound quality being slightly muddy (which I tend to find at all gigs, I think it’s just me, my ears and live music!), I rather enjoyed it. Best bit of the set HAD to be when the mic went, Alix kept singing, the sound guy gave up, so she stepped off the stage into the middle of us and sang as loudly as she could until an appropriate bit, at which point she switched mics. Clearly, she is to mics what I am to phones and computers! Major kudos girl, that was ballsy.
The venue was rather warm and thankfully I didn’t seem to be the only one who thought so, so after the bit we’d gathered for (the 12 of us headed along, and were joined by quite a few other bods, including Dina (yey!) - clearly apathy doesn’t always reign on a weeknight in Cambridge for live music), it was outside to get some fresh air. At which point our late arrival in the shape of Guy turned up.
Miss ‘I’m not staying for the gig’ turned into Miss ‘I’d best leave shortly’. Who didn't leave quite so quickly as that and we were all thankful for it.
Line of the night goes to Brian, who on being asked by Lee if he was taking the pretty (Andi) lady home, Brian grinned at me and said ‘no, I’ll leave her here with you’. I approved of this!
Got home at just after 11pm which is perfect mid-week, and dozed off a little after mid-night all dreamy.
Now, this is where it gets REALLY rather odd.
There have been a few times where I’ve heard knocking at silly-am. Now, I know there’s the bakery part of the Co-Op downstairs and have always attributed it to people knocking to get into there. That might still partly be the case. Then again, it might not.
I heard a repeated, but relatively quiet, knocking at 5.10am today. I wasn’t quite sleepy enough to totally ignore it as I have previously and go back to sleep, but nor was I awake enough to attribute it to elsewhere as I have previously. So I got up to investigate, half asleep and rather confused. I’d thought it had come from the direction of my bedroom window, but dismissed that and rather than open the curtains (I usually leave them open so that the light can gently wake me up, but I shan’t be going forward and you’ll soon realise why), I sleepily padded through the living room, opened the ‘hall’ door and tried to peer out into the darkness. There was a man at my hall window. Not being entirely sure who he was or what he wanted, I didn’t open the front door (thank goodness!). At first, I thought I recognised him (sorry Guy, I actually thought it was you for a split second because he was your height and build, and was wearing a hat similar to one you used to wear) but quickly realised he was a complete stranger. So I asked;
Me: “Can I help you?”
Man: “Erm. Are you new?”
Me: (Presuming he meant newly moved in and that he was confused and had perhaps gotten the wrong place...) “Yes, why? What do you want?” (said in what was probably a bedroom voice as I was sleepy!)
Man: “A… “massage”?”
Me: (Actually catching on and going from confused and sleepy to total indignance in about 0.1 of a second) “I certainly don’t think so!” (sounding more like Miss Hardbroom from The Worst Witch than Pussy Galore...)
*switched off light*
*went into living room*
*curled up and sobbed*
*did things to make me feel more comfortable, including checking the door and window was shut*
*eventually calmed down and started packing for the weekend!*
Now, it’s funny NOW because it’s daylight, I’m not in a flat by myself with an odd guy knocking on my window and door at 5.10am under the assumption that I’m a lady of the night, and I’m totally ok.
But I certainly wasn’t a very happy little bunny earlier.
It got me completely paranoid.
Does my flat look like it’s a boudoir?!?
Erm, yes, a little - the fact that I’d put on soft lighting, candles, incense and mood music to calm me down and create a relaxing atmosphere after this incident was a slight irony not lost on me. Ooops. Also, the lighting around my bit of balcony. And the dangly lights in the bedroom window which are nice and warm and inviting. And the crystals and ‘bits’ in both windows viewable from the roof.
Do I have lots of male visitors at odd hours?!?
Erm, yes, I do - and I generally hug them as they leave, and they often leave in groups, which is totally innocent, I just have more male friends than female ones on average and weeknights are guests visiting nights if I’m in! But it might look bad…
Do I answer the door dressed in night attire?!?
Erm… well, depending on what you call night attire, at times. I like my pjs. They’re comfortable. If you’re at my flat late enough, chances are you’ll hug me goodbye in them at least, even if I’m wearing day clothes to begin with!
Do I have a red light?!?!
Erm… well, the lampshade in the hall is a lovely fuschia and tie-dye affair with little tassels on it which does give off a bit of a red glow…
I think I need to have a rethink of the messages I might be giving off to the local neighbourhood… BUT
I decided in my distress to write a letter. So here it is;
Dear Slighty-Odd-Thinks-I’m-A-Lady-Of-The-Night Guy
I do apologise for this morning where I may have given you the wrong impression.
I sincerely hope that you came to the wrong flat or were a bit confused, but on reflection of the fact that when I viewed the flat, the single occupant had two beds (a single in the living room and a double in the bedroom) I suspect that you had indeed perhaps got the right place, but the wrong person. I fully appreciate that it’s been decorated and spruced up a bit since she left and is looking most definitely more ‘boudoir’ ish these days. But I hasten to add, it hasn’t been done in a bid to attract more clients. She most definitely hasn’t decorated to enhance the experience. It’s just that I’m a Goth.
I realise I did come and tell you I was new AND that I asked you what you wanted whilst bathed in a red light wearing black lacey pjs. But I’m a Goth. And I was sleepy and confused. And as far as I’m concerned, I AM new in the flat and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what anyone would want, knocking at my door and window at 5.10am, so I’m sure you’ll appreciate that the question was asked in all innocence. I certainly didn't mean I was a 'new girl' or that I was enquiring as to what you wanted *nudge nudge wink wink*.
So I can understand if you felt a little aggrieved and or put out with the ‘I don’t think so’ followed by light off and storming away response. It wasn’t a personal snub of you, but a general one of the situation. And I do rather hope that it was obvious enough to you that it had all been a bit of a misunderstanding, and that you will now take your business elsewhere. Quite why your masseuse hadn’t notified her clients of a change of address, goodness only knows. Perhaps she wished to start a new career. Perhaps she’s been long gone and it wasn’t the previous tenant but one from some time ago. Perhaps you got the wrong place. Who knows. What I do know is that I won’t be a) quite so confused OR so confusing and b) as calm if you make a return trip.
Thank you for your time but you won’t be getting any services from this premises again. AT least not whilst I'm here!
Yours
The New (Not 'NEW') Girl
Needless to say, I’ll be contacting the landlord a bit later and asking for the window lock on the bedroom window to be sorted (it shuts and can’t be opened from outside but it doesn’t lock) and for a chain to be put on the door (so that sleepy confused Emmas don’t accidentally end up opening the door to strangers).
There will be a separate post later about people you see on the street, grooming, types and so on which will involve pretty pictures. But I think that’s enough to be going on with for now!
Edit - Reported as incident no. 221 of 3rd September 2010. Local police will be notified for their records. Landlord has been contacted re fitting a security chain and sorting out the bedroom window. I've offered to fit a chain (and he's agreed) so I don't seem like a total pain, he's going to get the window sorted out.
Well. That was an interesting night!
I got in, got sorted and changed and nearly make-upped when ulfilias arrived, having tried to call me a number of times. Despite standing in the same room, with my phone indicating it had full signal, he still couldn’t get through. Oddly, I’ve not had a text from my voicemail to let me know I’ve got messages, thus proving my point that my phone, because it is mine, is prone to nonsensical technological quirks. This also serves as a reminder that if you call and go through to answer-phone, you’re all probably better off texting instead! Which is handy because I rarely listen to my voicemails as I have a habit of forgetting all about it unless my phone reminds me, which it rarely does. Ho hum.
Anyway, crisis averted, we headed off to The Wrestlers for rather tasty thai food. Now, The Wrestlers IS a pub. But it serves only thai food. I discovered it some years back (just before Christmas, whilst I was working for Balfours, the year Jo gave me my utterly gorgeous picture which was after the June in which Mum bought me the fairy book which I think must be three years ago but I'll eventually figure it out and find the blasted post!) and haven’t been since despite meaning to. I’ll be back more quickly next time. What started as a small gathering quickly expanded in numbers and thankfully the staff realised that we were going to need a larger table for our amassing throng, so removed the ‘reserved’ sign from a large table, added more tables to it and the 12 of us fitted quite nicely - just!
Then it was off to see Last July at the Cornerhouse. alixandrea sang through technical hitches and despite the sound quality being slightly muddy (which I tend to find at all gigs, I think it’s just me, my ears and live music!), I rather enjoyed it. Best bit of the set HAD to be when the mic went, Alix kept singing, the sound guy gave up, so she stepped off the stage into the middle of us and sang as loudly as she could until an appropriate bit, at which point she switched mics. Clearly, she is to mics what I am to phones and computers! Major kudos girl, that was ballsy.
The venue was rather warm and thankfully I didn’t seem to be the only one who thought so, so after the bit we’d gathered for (the 12 of us headed along, and were joined by quite a few other bods, including Dina (yey!) - clearly apathy doesn’t always reign on a weeknight in Cambridge for live music), it was outside to get some fresh air. At which point our late arrival in the shape of Guy turned up.
Miss ‘I’m not staying for the gig’ turned into Miss ‘I’d best leave shortly’. Who didn't leave quite so quickly as that and we were all thankful for it.
Line of the night goes to Brian, who on being asked by Lee if he was taking the pretty (Andi) lady home, Brian grinned at me and said ‘no, I’ll leave her here with you’. I approved of this!
Got home at just after 11pm which is perfect mid-week, and dozed off a little after mid-night all dreamy.
Now, this is where it gets REALLY rather odd.
There have been a few times where I’ve heard knocking at silly-am. Now, I know there’s the bakery part of the Co-Op downstairs and have always attributed it to people knocking to get into there. That might still partly be the case. Then again, it might not.
I heard a repeated, but relatively quiet, knocking at 5.10am today. I wasn’t quite sleepy enough to totally ignore it as I have previously and go back to sleep, but nor was I awake enough to attribute it to elsewhere as I have previously. So I got up to investigate, half asleep and rather confused. I’d thought it had come from the direction of my bedroom window, but dismissed that and rather than open the curtains (I usually leave them open so that the light can gently wake me up, but I shan’t be going forward and you’ll soon realise why), I sleepily padded through the living room, opened the ‘hall’ door and tried to peer out into the darkness. There was a man at my hall window. Not being entirely sure who he was or what he wanted, I didn’t open the front door (thank goodness!). At first, I thought I recognised him (sorry Guy, I actually thought it was you for a split second because he was your height and build, and was wearing a hat similar to one you used to wear) but quickly realised he was a complete stranger. So I asked;
Me: “Can I help you?”
Man: “Erm. Are you new?”
Me: (Presuming he meant newly moved in and that he was confused and had perhaps gotten the wrong place...) “Yes, why? What do you want?” (said in what was probably a bedroom voice as I was sleepy!)
Man: “A… “massage”?”
Me: (Actually catching on and going from confused and sleepy to total indignance in about 0.1 of a second) “I certainly don’t think so!” (sounding more like Miss Hardbroom from The Worst Witch than Pussy Galore...)
*switched off light*
*went into living room*
*curled up and sobbed*
*did things to make me feel more comfortable, including checking the door and window was shut*
*eventually calmed down and started packing for the weekend!*
Now, it’s funny NOW because it’s daylight, I’m not in a flat by myself with an odd guy knocking on my window and door at 5.10am under the assumption that I’m a lady of the night, and I’m totally ok.
But I certainly wasn’t a very happy little bunny earlier.
It got me completely paranoid.
Does my flat look like it’s a boudoir?!?
Erm, yes, a little - the fact that I’d put on soft lighting, candles, incense and mood music to calm me down and create a relaxing atmosphere after this incident was a slight irony not lost on me. Ooops. Also, the lighting around my bit of balcony. And the dangly lights in the bedroom window which are nice and warm and inviting. And the crystals and ‘bits’ in both windows viewable from the roof.
Do I have lots of male visitors at odd hours?!?
Erm, yes, I do - and I generally hug them as they leave, and they often leave in groups, which is totally innocent, I just have more male friends than female ones on average and weeknights are guests visiting nights if I’m in! But it might look bad…
Do I answer the door dressed in night attire?!?
Erm… well, depending on what you call night attire, at times. I like my pjs. They’re comfortable. If you’re at my flat late enough, chances are you’ll hug me goodbye in them at least, even if I’m wearing day clothes to begin with!
Do I have a red light?!?!
Erm… well, the lampshade in the hall is a lovely fuschia and tie-dye affair with little tassels on it which does give off a bit of a red glow…
I think I need to have a rethink of the messages I might be giving off to the local neighbourhood… BUT
I decided in my distress to write a letter. So here it is;
Dear Slighty-Odd-Thinks-I’m-A-Lady-Of-The-Night Guy
I do apologise for this morning where I may have given you the wrong impression.
I sincerely hope that you came to the wrong flat or were a bit confused, but on reflection of the fact that when I viewed the flat, the single occupant had two beds (a single in the living room and a double in the bedroom) I suspect that you had indeed perhaps got the right place, but the wrong person. I fully appreciate that it’s been decorated and spruced up a bit since she left and is looking most definitely more ‘boudoir’ ish these days. But I hasten to add, it hasn’t been done in a bid to attract more clients. She most definitely hasn’t decorated to enhance the experience. It’s just that I’m a Goth.
I realise I did come and tell you I was new AND that I asked you what you wanted whilst bathed in a red light wearing black lacey pjs. But I’m a Goth. And I was sleepy and confused. And as far as I’m concerned, I AM new in the flat and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what anyone would want, knocking at my door and window at 5.10am, so I’m sure you’ll appreciate that the question was asked in all innocence. I certainly didn't mean I was a 'new girl' or that I was enquiring as to what you wanted *nudge nudge wink wink*.
So I can understand if you felt a little aggrieved and or put out with the ‘I don’t think so’ followed by light off and storming away response. It wasn’t a personal snub of you, but a general one of the situation. And I do rather hope that it was obvious enough to you that it had all been a bit of a misunderstanding, and that you will now take your business elsewhere. Quite why your masseuse hadn’t notified her clients of a change of address, goodness only knows. Perhaps she wished to start a new career. Perhaps she’s been long gone and it wasn’t the previous tenant but one from some time ago. Perhaps you got the wrong place. Who knows. What I do know is that I won’t be a) quite so confused OR so confusing and b) as calm if you make a return trip.
Thank you for your time but you won’t be getting any services from this premises again. AT least not whilst I'm here!
Yours
The New (Not 'NEW') Girl
Needless to say, I’ll be contacting the landlord a bit later and asking for the window lock on the bedroom window to be sorted (it shuts and can’t be opened from outside but it doesn’t lock) and for a chain to be put on the door (so that sleepy confused Emmas don’t accidentally end up opening the door to strangers).
There will be a separate post later about people you see on the street, grooming, types and so on which will involve pretty pictures. But I think that’s enough to be going on with for now!
Edit - Reported as incident no. 221 of 3rd September 2010. Local police will be notified for their records. Landlord has been contacted re fitting a security chain and sorting out the bedroom window. I've offered to fit a chain (and he's agreed) so I don't seem like a total pain, he's going to get the window sorted out.