Trying a new tactic.
I have always been dead-set AGAINST letting babies and little kids "cry it out", and most conventional methods of sleep training. So for the last 2.5 years I've pretty much bent over backward to make sure I was always there if Xander needed me to hold him, cuddle him, nurse him to sleep, sit with him, etc. I felt like I was doing great because I managed to stay ahead of him and he hardly ever cried.
But recently I've realized what the cost of that has been. I didn't even realize it before because I was so caught up in the kids and being a mommy, that I kind of lost sight of the fact that I'm also a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend. My kids were my life, to the exclusion of all else, just about.
Now, I love my babies. And I know that Xander really does need more attention than a lot of kids. He's always been emotionally needy. But I can't keep doing that.
Now that Konan and I have finally rediscovered our marriage, so to speak, I'm realizing that I've created a lot of bad habits in Xander that are getting in the way of us spending any time together. I have to sit in his room with him at naptime and bedtime until he falls asleep. He wakes up multiple times in the middle of the night and insists on sleeping with us. If one of us isn't in the room with him, or even if he just can't see us, he throws a fit. It's really bad. And I can't handle it anymore.
So I've cleaned everything throwable and/or breakable out of his room, and put a knob cover on the door so he can't open it from the inside.
I feel really bad about it. But I'm to the point where he just NEEDS to learn to fall asleep on his own. Especially since Konan will be working soon and I won't have anyone around to take care of Finn if he needs something while I'm sitting in Xander's room for an hour making sure he's asleep. I need to be able to go downstairs to do laundry without having to worry about him breaking things during the 5 minutes I'm gone. I want to be able to HAVE SEX WITH MY HUSBAND FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, without the constant nagging fear of being interrupted by a hysterical child. Because I swear, every time we get into anything, he ALWAYS wakes up. It drives me crazy. There is no worse mood killer than a 2 year old screaming "MOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMYYYYY COME SNUGGLE NOW".
But recently I've realized what the cost of that has been. I didn't even realize it before because I was so caught up in the kids and being a mommy, that I kind of lost sight of the fact that I'm also a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend. My kids were my life, to the exclusion of all else, just about.
Now, I love my babies. And I know that Xander really does need more attention than a lot of kids. He's always been emotionally needy. But I can't keep doing that.
Now that Konan and I have finally rediscovered our marriage, so to speak, I'm realizing that I've created a lot of bad habits in Xander that are getting in the way of us spending any time together. I have to sit in his room with him at naptime and bedtime until he falls asleep. He wakes up multiple times in the middle of the night and insists on sleeping with us. If one of us isn't in the room with him, or even if he just can't see us, he throws a fit. It's really bad. And I can't handle it anymore.
So I've cleaned everything throwable and/or breakable out of his room, and put a knob cover on the door so he can't open it from the inside.
I feel really bad about it. But I'm to the point where he just NEEDS to learn to fall asleep on his own. Especially since Konan will be working soon and I won't have anyone around to take care of Finn if he needs something while I'm sitting in Xander's room for an hour making sure he's asleep. I need to be able to go downstairs to do laundry without having to worry about him breaking things during the 5 minutes I'm gone. I want to be able to HAVE SEX WITH MY HUSBAND FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, without the constant nagging fear of being interrupted by a hysterical child. Because I swear, every time we get into anything, he ALWAYS wakes up. It drives me crazy. There is no worse mood killer than a 2 year old screaming "MOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMYYYYY COME SNUGGLE NOW".