Shit
As I am at Man's, life is currently bearable. It wasn't driving home last night- we were on the road I had the crash in and I went into hysterics, it was awful. He pulled over and just held onto me while I sobbed.
Court= shittiest day of my life. It's been adjourned for 2 weeks. I was in the waiting room from 9am till 4.30pm. Only got seen at 4pm. I can go to prison in 2 weeks. My minimum punishment, no joke, will be disqualification from driving for 3 FUCKING YEARS, and what is known as a suspended custodial sentence- that means 6 months of community service (unpaid work) over the course of 2 years. If I fail to do this, or reoffend, I go to prison. Oh, and a fine of about £1200. This is how much I fucked up my life when I used my sat nav whilst driving. This is how much I will be inconveniencing people for 3 years. I have to take more time off from RADA. I will lose time with Alex at weekends and holidays. You know, there's a guy I know who ran over an old lady while on his mobile, denied he was on the mobile, got found out and he only got careless driving. Forgive me, I know I need to attone for my crime, but I think that's a little fucking unjust. The statement from the woman in the car behind me was so unbelievably unkind- like she's out for my blood. She wants me to go to prison.
So yeah. Shitty day. However, spent evening watching Alex rehearse, got to come home with him, make love with him and next week, I stay in a hotel with him. In this time, I have to get friends and family to give me character references and write a letter myself to the court apologising for my behaviour. I don't think it will make the slightest bit of difference but... I want to pretend for 2 weeks that it isn't happening.
Monday, am doing a life or death scene in Acting- have to escape a room with someone sleeping in it. Mentally upsetting, no? Dramaturgy will be fun as I get to make up my actor's character and I'm going to have been in every Star Wars film and only lost out on Lord of the Rings because I was too tall to be a hobbit. We also get our voices recorded in Dialect so she can analyse what we need to change about our voices- Sophie had this done to her and said it was amazing talking with someone who seemed to know more about your voice than you.
I love him to pieces. I feel like I could survive anything as long as I've got Alex.
Court= shittiest day of my life. It's been adjourned for 2 weeks. I was in the waiting room from 9am till 4.30pm. Only got seen at 4pm. I can go to prison in 2 weeks. My minimum punishment, no joke, will be disqualification from driving for 3 FUCKING YEARS, and what is known as a suspended custodial sentence- that means 6 months of community service (unpaid work) over the course of 2 years. If I fail to do this, or reoffend, I go to prison. Oh, and a fine of about £1200. This is how much I fucked up my life when I used my sat nav whilst driving. This is how much I will be inconveniencing people for 3 years. I have to take more time off from RADA. I will lose time with Alex at weekends and holidays. You know, there's a guy I know who ran over an old lady while on his mobile, denied he was on the mobile, got found out and he only got careless driving. Forgive me, I know I need to attone for my crime, but I think that's a little fucking unjust. The statement from the woman in the car behind me was so unbelievably unkind- like she's out for my blood. She wants me to go to prison.
So yeah. Shitty day. However, spent evening watching Alex rehearse, got to come home with him, make love with him and next week, I stay in a hotel with him. In this time, I have to get friends and family to give me character references and write a letter myself to the court apologising for my behaviour. I don't think it will make the slightest bit of difference but... I want to pretend for 2 weeks that it isn't happening.
Monday, am doing a life or death scene in Acting- have to escape a room with someone sleeping in it. Mentally upsetting, no? Dramaturgy will be fun as I get to make up my actor's character and I'm going to have been in every Star Wars film and only lost out on Lord of the Rings because I was too tall to be a hobbit. We also get our voices recorded in Dialect so she can analyse what we need to change about our voices- Sophie had this done to her and said it was amazing talking with someone who seemed to know more about your voice than you.
I love him to pieces. I feel like I could survive anything as long as I've got Alex.