(no subject)
I tend not to post in here very much anymore. I've sort of grown apart from writing down my feelings exactly - lately, I feel like I'm complex enough that I would prefer to express myself through art, like my writing. Also, I'm aware that because I'm a teenager, most of my inner emotions and anguish are probably totally fabricated. I will not put my friends through my teen angst (for the most part). You're welcome.
But right now I just feel like there's something I have to say. Something that's finally not trivial.
It's April the third. That means that exactly two months ago, Ashleigh Webster took her own life. Today, I felt like I was the only one in the world who woke up and cried because of that anniversary. I know that's not true; I know there have to be many others; I just feel so alone in this. Despite the way my brain knows that there are dozens of people who miss her just as much as I do, I'm ending this day the same way I started it: crying, because she's still gone. And people, even me probably, seem to forget her more and more every day. Her absence from us is measured in weeks, not years - but somehow, I've already grown so numb to the fact that my Ashleigh, my lifeline, is gone.
That's all I wanted to say, I guess. Sorry for being all depressing, for those of you who read this and for those of you who talked to me today. I tried to hide it, but it's hard. I miss her so much.
But right now I just feel like there's something I have to say. Something that's finally not trivial.
It's April the third. That means that exactly two months ago, Ashleigh Webster took her own life. Today, I felt like I was the only one in the world who woke up and cried because of that anniversary. I know that's not true; I know there have to be many others; I just feel so alone in this. Despite the way my brain knows that there are dozens of people who miss her just as much as I do, I'm ending this day the same way I started it: crying, because she's still gone. And people, even me probably, seem to forget her more and more every day. Her absence from us is measured in weeks, not years - but somehow, I've already grown so numb to the fact that my Ashleigh, my lifeline, is gone.
That's all I wanted to say, I guess. Sorry for being all depressing, for those of you who read this and for those of you who talked to me today. I tried to hide it, but it's hard. I miss her so much.