Hmmm...
Hmmm... I wonder how Ash got my journal link.
And more Hmm... Caitlin and I and people from work were all going to go out to the movies saturday night after work before she goes back to college but she can't go and she was the ride for the other people so they can't go so it looks like saturday night I'm sitting at home unless the girls make my phone ring and we hang out but I think Sarah is going to Boston with people. Don't know if she'll be back that night. Doesn't matter. Too much on my mind really to be out. If I keep putting all this off it's just going to eat at me. Always does happen that way.
My grandfather was rushed to the hospital. That's where he is now. I won't be able to see him this sunday. He got sick and then he couldn't breathe so he went to the hospital and they gave him antibiotics and hooked him up to things to help him breathe. My parents went to see him at the hospital but I couldn't go. I was working. And I had to go to work early because they needed me. But that's ok because then....
Sarah and Jenny and I met up at Kohl's. I dropped off my car.. oh wait Jess was there too. And then we went and followed a car full of girls and a guy from our old highschool that Tracy knows and they flicked us off but then we started having fun and then we met up with Kyle, Tracy and Amanda and drove around to no where then picked up my car and I went home and now .. back to thinking. Doesn't that suck?
Another night on the couch.. The only time I come in my room is to get on this computer. Otherwise I avoid it at all costs. Just feels too lonely. Can't even sit on my bed without thinking about all those nights and early mornings talking to him. But.. taking things one at a time.. and that's kind of helping. Right now I'm fighting my OCD.. and it's kind of working but I don't know how long that will last. That's ok. And also dealing with the worrying about my grandfather.. I can't lose him. I don't ever want to lose my grandparents. Especially not on my mom's side. I love them to pieces. But.. not to the moon and back twice.. like. Oh damnit.
Grr!! So there. Any way.. so I've been thinking and I've decided I really don't like being at home unless my mom is here. I love my mom. She's wonderful. Other than that I've been trying to go out as much as possible to put my thinking aside. Only hits me harder in the end. What a bitch.. huh?
For Christmas I got Nathan a bear.. which I snuggled every night.. I can't even look at it now.. It tears me up inside.. and I got him Wolverine and The Punisher action figure things because.. he likes Marvel and all that.. and.. I thought it might be nice but.. now my life is all out of order.. I can't find his address and I can't get my act together long enough to wrap them and get a box to put them in.
Infact.. I can't get my act together long enough to do anything. I have a list of things to do and I haven't done any of them... I've had the same list for a while and only one thing has been done on the entire list.. Got a new phone. Mine wasn't charging anymore. Got it for free.. So.. it works. Whatever ( Usually water ) floats your boat. I should go lay on the couch and see what's on TV. My eyes are starting to burn from staring at the screen. Goodnight everyone. Take care.
And more Hmm... Caitlin and I and people from work were all going to go out to the movies saturday night after work before she goes back to college but she can't go and she was the ride for the other people so they can't go so it looks like saturday night I'm sitting at home unless the girls make my phone ring and we hang out but I think Sarah is going to Boston with people. Don't know if she'll be back that night. Doesn't matter. Too much on my mind really to be out. If I keep putting all this off it's just going to eat at me. Always does happen that way.
My grandfather was rushed to the hospital. That's where he is now. I won't be able to see him this sunday. He got sick and then he couldn't breathe so he went to the hospital and they gave him antibiotics and hooked him up to things to help him breathe. My parents went to see him at the hospital but I couldn't go. I was working. And I had to go to work early because they needed me. But that's ok because then....
Sarah and Jenny and I met up at Kohl's. I dropped off my car.. oh wait Jess was there too. And then we went and followed a car full of girls and a guy from our old highschool that Tracy knows and they flicked us off but then we started having fun and then we met up with Kyle, Tracy and Amanda and drove around to no where then picked up my car and I went home and now .. back to thinking. Doesn't that suck?
Another night on the couch.. The only time I come in my room is to get on this computer. Otherwise I avoid it at all costs. Just feels too lonely. Can't even sit on my bed without thinking about all those nights and early mornings talking to him. But.. taking things one at a time.. and that's kind of helping. Right now I'm fighting my OCD.. and it's kind of working but I don't know how long that will last. That's ok. And also dealing with the worrying about my grandfather.. I can't lose him. I don't ever want to lose my grandparents. Especially not on my mom's side. I love them to pieces. But.. not to the moon and back twice.. like. Oh damnit.
Grr!! So there. Any way.. so I've been thinking and I've decided I really don't like being at home unless my mom is here. I love my mom. She's wonderful. Other than that I've been trying to go out as much as possible to put my thinking aside. Only hits me harder in the end. What a bitch.. huh?
For Christmas I got Nathan a bear.. which I snuggled every night.. I can't even look at it now.. It tears me up inside.. and I got him Wolverine and The Punisher action figure things because.. he likes Marvel and all that.. and.. I thought it might be nice but.. now my life is all out of order.. I can't find his address and I can't get my act together long enough to wrap them and get a box to put them in.
Infact.. I can't get my act together long enough to do anything. I have a list of things to do and I haven't done any of them... I've had the same list for a while and only one thing has been done on the entire list.. Got a new phone. Mine wasn't charging anymore. Got it for free.. So.. it works. Whatever ( Usually water ) floats your boat. I should go lay on the couch and see what's on TV. My eyes are starting to burn from staring at the screen. Goodnight everyone. Take care.