(no subject)
Matt and I have taken a break.
Not a break in the sense of a break from our relationship. But a break from eachother. We're going to spend less time together for the next few days. Because for the past 2 or 3 weeks we've been fighting like crazy. And I hate it. And I think we just need time apart.
...Just... a few days.
I just... feel another Tom coming on. I would never forgive myself if our relationship ended up the same way as Tom's and mine did. Twice. This time I've actually stood up and said I needed a break. Not let things get so bad that I'm taking the easy way out.
It's really important to me that this works out between Matt and I. I don't think I would survive it if I got my heart broken again. I really don't. Especially if I was the one who broke it because I was too afraid to fight for us by fixing our problems.
This is so much harder than I thought it would be, though. I thought it would feel like... a breath a fresh air. A chance to get my bearings and really focus on making this work. But... I miss him so much that it's hard to catch that breath.
It's hard to stick to my own rules. I know that this is for us. This will help. But... it's so hard to follow through when it sucks so bad.
I don't know. I do...
But I don't.
Ugh. :0(
Not a break in the sense of a break from our relationship. But a break from eachother. We're going to spend less time together for the next few days. Because for the past 2 or 3 weeks we've been fighting like crazy. And I hate it. And I think we just need time apart.
...Just... a few days.
I just... feel another Tom coming on. I would never forgive myself if our relationship ended up the same way as Tom's and mine did. Twice. This time I've actually stood up and said I needed a break. Not let things get so bad that I'm taking the easy way out.
It's really important to me that this works out between Matt and I. I don't think I would survive it if I got my heart broken again. I really don't. Especially if I was the one who broke it because I was too afraid to fight for us by fixing our problems.
This is so much harder than I thought it would be, though. I thought it would feel like... a breath a fresh air. A chance to get my bearings and really focus on making this work. But... I miss him so much that it's hard to catch that breath.
It's hard to stick to my own rules. I know that this is for us. This will help. But... it's so hard to follow through when it sucks so bad.
I don't know. I do...
But I don't.
Ugh. :0(