Ficlet: Attends the Seeking (GH, Jax, Brenda, Robin)
Title: Attends the Seeking
Author: empressearwig
Prompt: 65 - The Hardest Part
Pairing/Character(s): Jax, Brenda, Robin
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Word Count: 882
Spoilers/Warnings: Part of the extended Lana!AU.
Summary: "We’re pretty sure that something awful happened, something that you should know about.”
Author's Notes: Written for theechochorus.
“It is not the possession of truth, but the success which attends the seeking after it, that enriches the seeker and brings happiness to him.” - Max Planck
Robin opened the front door to find Jasper Jacks standing on the other side. “Jax, thank you for coming.”
“Anything for you, you know that,” Jax said, a wide smile on his face. “Clearly motherhood agrees with you Robin, you’ve never looked lovelier.”
“You’re a liar, but thank you for the effort,” Robin laughed. She stepped back to let him into the house. “Please, come in.”
“I was a little surprised to get your call,” Jax said cautiously. “We haven’t seen much of each other lately.”
Robin winced. “I’m sorry about that. I’ve just been so caught up in the baby, and Brenda’s visit, and planning a wedding…” she trailed off. “It’s not an excuse. I heard about the divorce, Jax. I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re not,” Jax corrected. “I appreciate the thought, but you were among those who warned me about Carly. You’re entitled to an I told you so.”
“No, I’m not,” Robin said sadly. “I wanted to be wrong for your sake, you know that, right?”
“I do,” Jax acknowledged. “So why am I here Robin?”
She bit her lip, and gestured towards the couch. “Please, sit down.” As he did so, Robin settled herself on the arm of a nearby chair. “You know Brenda’s in town, right?”
Jax nodded. “Yes, how is she? I saw her at Alanna’s baptism, but we didn’t get a chance to speak. I assume that was by her design.”
“Yes, well, Brenda’s been going through some things since she came back,” Robin hedged. “Before she even got here, really.”
Jax frowned. “Is she alright? I know we ended badly, Robin, but you have to know I’ve always loved her. I’ve never wanted her to be anything other than alright.”
Robin shook her head, “No, no. Physically she’s fine. But she’s been in therapy for about two months now, mostly at my insistence.”
“Therapy? How did you get Brenda to agree to that? And are you sure she’d want you telling me this?”
“It was Brenda’s idea for me to tell you, actually,” Robin said ruefully. “And it involved a lot of arm twisting and guilt.”
Jax laughed a little. “Who better to twist her arm than the person she loves the most? But Robin, what does this have to do with me?”
“The therapy she’s been undergoing is helping her to recover some of the memories of what happened to her after she went over the cliff. And we’re pretty sure that something awful happened, something that you should know about.”
Panic lit in Jax’s eyes. “She doesn’t actually have Veronica’s disease, right? We made sure of that.”
“No, no,” Robin assured. “I’m doing this all wrong, I don’t know how to actually say this…”
“Say what, Robin? Just spit it out.”
“That I was pregnant when I went off the cliff.”
Jax’s head spun towards the stairs. “Brenda.”
She started walking towards them. “Did you not hear what I said? I’m pretty sure I was pregnant when I went over the cliff.”
“I’m just going to leave,” Robin excused herself, slipping unnoticed up the stairs.
Brenda seated herself in the chair Robin had vacated.
Jax stared at her unseeingly. “Brenda, I don’t understand. You were pregnant?”
She nodded. “Jax, you have to believe I wouldn’t have ever knowingly kept something like this from you. I didn’t remember it. My doctor, Lainey, she thinks I didn’t want to remember because it was too painful.”
“So you’re saying you actually had the baby?” Jax asked incredulously.
Brenda bit her lip. “We think so. I mean, I’ve been examined by doctors and they’re fairly certain that I went through a pregnancy, and everything I’ve remembered has led Lainey and I to the conclusion that I had a baby.”
“Forgive me for asking the obvious question, but what happened to it? Where is our child now?”
She shook her head sadly. “I can’t remember. I can only assume that Luis had her placed somewhere, with a family, in a convent, somewhere safe. He wouldn’t have harmed her, it wasn’t his style. He’d have wanted the leverage over me if nothing else.”
“Her?” Jax’s voice cracked. “Are you saying that we had a daughter?”
Brenda smiled wistfully, tears welling up in her eyes. “I don’t know. But I would have wanted to have a little girl with you back then. A beautiful little girl with your eyes.”
“She’d be almost ten by now,” Jax realized. “She’d have practically grown up without us.”
Tears fell down Brenda’s face. “I know. I should have tried to remember that year sooner, I should have realized that something happened. How does a mother just forget that she had a baby?” She sobbed openly.
Jax slid off the couch and knelt in front of her, running his thumbs across her cheeks wiping the tears away. “It’ll be alright, Brenda. We’ll find her. Somehow we’ll make this right, I promise you.”
He gathered her into his arms, and the two of them clung to each other.
Whatever had passed between them before, whatever pain they’d caused each other, the only thing that mattered now was finding out what had happened to their child.
And to do that, they’d have to be together, no matter how hard it was.
It would be the only way.
Author: empressearwig
Prompt: 65 - The Hardest Part
Pairing/Character(s): Jax, Brenda, Robin
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Word Count: 882
Spoilers/Warnings: Part of the extended Lana!AU.
Summary: "We’re pretty sure that something awful happened, something that you should know about.”
Author's Notes: Written for theechochorus.
“It is not the possession of truth, but the success which attends the seeking after it, that enriches the seeker and brings happiness to him.” - Max Planck
Robin opened the front door to find Jasper Jacks standing on the other side. “Jax, thank you for coming.”
“Anything for you, you know that,” Jax said, a wide smile on his face. “Clearly motherhood agrees with you Robin, you’ve never looked lovelier.”
“You’re a liar, but thank you for the effort,” Robin laughed. She stepped back to let him into the house. “Please, come in.”
“I was a little surprised to get your call,” Jax said cautiously. “We haven’t seen much of each other lately.”
Robin winced. “I’m sorry about that. I’ve just been so caught up in the baby, and Brenda’s visit, and planning a wedding…” she trailed off. “It’s not an excuse. I heard about the divorce, Jax. I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re not,” Jax corrected. “I appreciate the thought, but you were among those who warned me about Carly. You’re entitled to an I told you so.”
“No, I’m not,” Robin said sadly. “I wanted to be wrong for your sake, you know that, right?”
“I do,” Jax acknowledged. “So why am I here Robin?”
She bit her lip, and gestured towards the couch. “Please, sit down.” As he did so, Robin settled herself on the arm of a nearby chair. “You know Brenda’s in town, right?”
Jax nodded. “Yes, how is she? I saw her at Alanna’s baptism, but we didn’t get a chance to speak. I assume that was by her design.”
“Yes, well, Brenda’s been going through some things since she came back,” Robin hedged. “Before she even got here, really.”
Jax frowned. “Is she alright? I know we ended badly, Robin, but you have to know I’ve always loved her. I’ve never wanted her to be anything other than alright.”
Robin shook her head, “No, no. Physically she’s fine. But she’s been in therapy for about two months now, mostly at my insistence.”
“Therapy? How did you get Brenda to agree to that? And are you sure she’d want you telling me this?”
“It was Brenda’s idea for me to tell you, actually,” Robin said ruefully. “And it involved a lot of arm twisting and guilt.”
Jax laughed a little. “Who better to twist her arm than the person she loves the most? But Robin, what does this have to do with me?”
“The therapy she’s been undergoing is helping her to recover some of the memories of what happened to her after she went over the cliff. And we’re pretty sure that something awful happened, something that you should know about.”
Panic lit in Jax’s eyes. “She doesn’t actually have Veronica’s disease, right? We made sure of that.”
“No, no,” Robin assured. “I’m doing this all wrong, I don’t know how to actually say this…”
“Say what, Robin? Just spit it out.”
“That I was pregnant when I went off the cliff.”
Jax’s head spun towards the stairs. “Brenda.”
She started walking towards them. “Did you not hear what I said? I’m pretty sure I was pregnant when I went over the cliff.”
“I’m just going to leave,” Robin excused herself, slipping unnoticed up the stairs.
Brenda seated herself in the chair Robin had vacated.
Jax stared at her unseeingly. “Brenda, I don’t understand. You were pregnant?”
She nodded. “Jax, you have to believe I wouldn’t have ever knowingly kept something like this from you. I didn’t remember it. My doctor, Lainey, she thinks I didn’t want to remember because it was too painful.”
“So you’re saying you actually had the baby?” Jax asked incredulously.
Brenda bit her lip. “We think so. I mean, I’ve been examined by doctors and they’re fairly certain that I went through a pregnancy, and everything I’ve remembered has led Lainey and I to the conclusion that I had a baby.”
“Forgive me for asking the obvious question, but what happened to it? Where is our child now?”
She shook her head sadly. “I can’t remember. I can only assume that Luis had her placed somewhere, with a family, in a convent, somewhere safe. He wouldn’t have harmed her, it wasn’t his style. He’d have wanted the leverage over me if nothing else.”
“Her?” Jax’s voice cracked. “Are you saying that we had a daughter?”
Brenda smiled wistfully, tears welling up in her eyes. “I don’t know. But I would have wanted to have a little girl with you back then. A beautiful little girl with your eyes.”
“She’d be almost ten by now,” Jax realized. “She’d have practically grown up without us.”
Tears fell down Brenda’s face. “I know. I should have tried to remember that year sooner, I should have realized that something happened. How does a mother just forget that she had a baby?” She sobbed openly.
Jax slid off the couch and knelt in front of her, running his thumbs across her cheeks wiping the tears away. “It’ll be alright, Brenda. We’ll find her. Somehow we’ll make this right, I promise you.”
He gathered her into his arms, and the two of them clung to each other.
Whatever had passed between them before, whatever pain they’d caused each other, the only thing that mattered now was finding out what had happened to their child.
And to do that, they’d have to be together, no matter how hard it was.
It would be the only way.