Breaking through...
The struggles NT and I have been having within our relationship are stemming somewhat from the fact he has no contact with his mother. He shared with me today how he feels he needs to have contact with her. He misses having a mother. It makes sense to me now. I have been everything to NT. Since we met he has clung to me and has been somewhat unable to live his life. He puts everything into me which just isn't healthy for him (or me). NT hasn't had regular contact with his mother for several years because she was manipulative and abusive towards him growing up. He was being destroyed by this and he needed to get away from her meanness . He has seen her a couple of times over the past few years but only at rare family events. His feelings around how she treated him are tearing him apart. Last night before I discovered this we talked about how I feel he is constantly stressed. He admitted he feels that way most of the time. He attributed it to moving and living in a new city. I think we both realized today it was more about him always carrying the stress of this situation around. He noted he has been holding in everything he feels about her and wanting to see her. He really is unable to process what he feels but he is trying. He is also carrying around so much and he isn't able to sort through it all. I am trying to be more patient, understanding, and supportive because I know how hard this is for him. I