Relationship struggles...
-------------How can one support their partner when their actions are difficult to continuously deal with? ----------------
Yesterday was supposed to be a cosy evening for NT and I. We rented a movie and we were planning to relax and enjoy some time together but we ended up fighting instead. He is having a hard time with me developing deeper friendships with other people. He says he is trying to be okay with it and I believe him....but his actions say otherwise. Yesterday I was chatting with belenen when NT came home from practice. Since we planned to spend time together, I ended the conversation with her and started to hang out with him. It was very apparent from the moment he knew I was chatting online that he was not happy. We have discussed this and part of the reason he feels weird is because he doesn't 'know' bel or others that I meet through LJ. I feel connecting with LJ has revitalized me. I understand he is somewhat exluded, yet he isn't really because I am open with him. However, he can't always be a part of everything. That is the reality of a relationship.
He said yesterday I was obsessed with bel. She and I have gotten to be so close and that is just amazing. We have a tremendous connection. He knows this and he also knows how great this is for me, how much I need this in my life. I pondered whether I am obsessed and I think the answer is yes and no. Yes, because our friendship fills my mind but then no because I am not preoccupied fully with it. I am still connected to him, and can be even though she and I are close. The action that irritates me he continuously does is he shuts himself off. He just goes flat so to speak and he stifles his thoughts and words. He is unable to share with me what he is feeling. Often he doesn't know how to identify what he is feeling himself. He also tells himself he shouldn't feel this way. I am supportive but that doesn't work completely. I try to give him space but that doesn't work completely either. I have given so much of myself to try to help him to find a way to be more expressive and experience his thoughts/feelings so he can let go. Nothing is working. I just want to run away from this. I can't figure out where to go from here.
This morning he expressed may be it wasn't that I was obsessed with her...perhaps he was obsessed with me.