(no subject)

[earthly_being]

you ever get that feeling like everyone you love and care about are falling into an endless hole of depression and oblivion and you can't do anything to stop it? to be truthfull that's where i'm at right now. for example... rachael. every day she posts in her lj about how everything is getting her down, how life is so horrible. when we talk on the phone she tells me i'm one of the few sources of happiness she has anymore. i fear for her. god help me but i'm afraid. i will never be able tell her how much i really love her, and how i would die if anything ever happened to her. (and yet i type this knowing full well that she'll read it. ain't reverse psycology great?) i seriously don't think i could handle not having her to come back to each day. to tell the truth i really think she is the only source of happiness i have anymore. i mean when i can't call her untill later i get depressed cause i have to wait. i try to get home as fast as i can so i can talk to her. my school work has long ago fallen to the wasteside. i'm falling apart and i love it. it has been so long since i've been as happy with a person as i am every day with rachael. she has litterally brightened my days. i wish i had a magic wand i could wave over her and make all her problems go away. but i can't so i console myself by being there for her wenever she needs me.
live long,prosper,and may the force be with you
josh
P.S. rachael if you're reading this (of course you are)i love you. whether we're dating or not i love you so much!