My new life
it is interesting to now to come back to this, to read this and to see who it is i was. not a pretty picture folks not at all. i've changed so much. for the better i hope, but i really don't know. anyways i guess i owe the lot of you some kind of update so that the very few who cares anymore what goes on with me can know what exactly is going on with me. i am eighteen now. i'm killing myself with calsses and trying to find what litlle time i can to be with those i care for. i managed to avoid relationship poblems (kinda) for most of the year untill this october. i met someone. her name was brittney. she was beautifull she was relatively smart, she was funny and she was a sophomore. we went out for two, almost three months before she completley blind sided me with the break up. it was bitter and vicious. i won't burn you with the details becasue they aren't important. what is important is that for the first time i have learned. brittney has taught me what 4 years of dating and failed relationships has been unable to teach me. i am a human being outside what others think and feel about me. i don't need others to be someone. i deserve to be loved, to be happy, to not be miserable, i learned that i am. this was the beginning of a turn around for me. the break up continued for a long time. i fought to hold onto my unrequited feelings for her. i hoped stupidly and imaturly that she would comeback to me. that somehow i could make her love me. i couldn't, she wouldn't. she went out with someone else and i learned. it was not long after that, that someone came into my life who has changed it for the better. michele, an old girlfreind from last year. we'd really only gone on two dates but way back then i felt that we were dating. returning to the recent past, manoja a freind of ours mentioned her again. all thoughts of brittney faded they disapeared to be replaced by a hope for something better. i called he that day. called to remember old times and perhaps lay the groundwork for some new times. it was set in concrete. i asked her if she wanted to give us another go and go we did. we dated for nearly a week or so before she asked me to read the book of mormon. you see she is a member of the church of jesus christ of latter day saints, a.k.a. (derogatorily) as mormons. i read and for the first time i believed. i saw truth in every word, felt the love that the god felt for me and i rejoiced. it would be another two and a half weeks before i got up the courage to tell her that i wanted to join the church. she laughed she gigled and i think she might have cried. i went to church with her on that sunday to learn what i could. what i found only strengthened my resolve that this was the right thing to do. i met with missionarieds for utah who taught me of the chuch. taught me the truth of salvation and the love of my heavenly father. i met and i studied for nearly four weeks this went on. finally the time came. on friday febraury ninth i was baptised into the church. i was speechless in my joy. i was apart of gods true church upon the earth and could know that i would, by living according to the precepts of the church, go to the celestial kingdom. after this i was confirmed in the holy spiriti. it is now a constant companion guiding me through my life and the confusion that exists there. that was last week. life has continued to be amazing. my faitha and love for god my heavenly father has only grown and i thank him for all the blessings i have been given. i am still with michele and she continues to teach me and bring joy into my life. so um thats the gist. i have been born again upon this earth, a child of god and a brother of jesus christ. i care for michele and have no intention of ending anything any time soon.
Live long, prosper and may god be with you
josh