(no subject)
chris, if youre still reading my journal, which i highly doubt you are because you dont care what im doing behind your back anymore or how im feeling or notice im acting strange, i just want you to know im beginning to resent ever giving you a second try. i resent letting you talk me into this situation and letting you treat me however the hell you want knowing that i wont talk back in fear of you leaving me. only im not afraid anymore. i resent that youre still in my life. i resent that YOU didnt put YOUR foot down when you originally found out what i was doing and didnt tell my parents. i resent that i let you talk me into believing that everything was my fault. you had an equal share in everything that happened. i resent not just kicking you out of my life 5 months ago or 4 months ago or even last month when i realized that you didnt love me the way you once did. now you just lead me on and i hate you for it. i regret every minute i spend with you, or thinking about beng with you, or think about you. i dont associate happy warm fuzzy feelings with you anymore. its all resentment, cruelty, disconnectedness, misunderstanding, melancholy, and lately theres been the start of almost a hatred towards you and your actions.
screw you. i cant wait to get you out my life.
screw you. i cant wait to get you out my life.