So. He and I run the department like duel emperors. He's my superior, certainly, and he's better at gathering information silently without letting on how much he doesn't know. I am, as usual, not the elegant presence I might hope to be, but young and fumbling, often angry and biting, but willing, perhaps too willing, to ask when I don't know. And ( Read more... )

I woke this morning to snow swirling down. I stayed curled up in the dark, watching it fall. I wanted to stay, but there are fish left alive in the sea ( Read more... )

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The other night I saw the Big Mess Cabaret at the Trocodaro, the former burlesque house and the only nineteenth century theatre still in operation in the country. Drag queens! Dancing girls! Strip teases! Adaptations of biblical texts! A drunken orchestra! The auctioning off of articles of clothing! There were vaudevillian performers who snuck into ( Read more... )

I've been scrubbing, rearranging, stripping, and purging. I want to be rid of everything that is unnecessary, plastic, ugly, cheap, and in the way. Is one meant to hoard in the winter? Ought I to be getting fat? I refuse. I want clean surfaces, severed ties, everything put in its place. I want to be able to get down to the business of this season ( Read more... )

I've not been eating much. When I do I force myself, because it seems that I ought. I do get hungry, I suppose, but nothing is quite what I want. I do want to drink, however. Coffee, or black or detoxifying or calming tea, my father's brand of whiskey, good Scotch, strangely floral gin and tonics. Fuelling the machine is tedious. I want to push ( Read more... )

It is Monday, and, at last! the Winter Moon.

I found my favourite book, Myths and Legends of Flowers, Trees, Fruits, and Plants, by Charles M. Skinner, in the used book shop in the Italian Market. I know it to be my favourite book, despite the fact that I'm not yet past the ash tree in a mostly alphabetical volume. Proof:

We who eat and wear and ( Read more... )

The city has been covered in snowflakes since mid fall. They are sprayed on the windows of every coffee chain. Big electric ones poke out from behind the leaves that still cover the trees around City Hall. The leaves aren't even the brown, defeated ones that simply lack the energy to loosen their grip. They're the golden and red sort, glorious and ( Read more... )

To whom it may concern ( Read more... )

so. now that that is out of the way. my family is amazing. i've been so excited about spending time with them. they are funny, and generous, and kind. ally has a new rocking horse, and, as far as i've seen, nothing new that uses batteries, which is magnificent. they all liked what i gave them, and they gave me beautiful things that i needed: sheets ( Read more... )