i'm liquid cold. she's murder grey.
Apparently, it's not that I'm bored because I have nothing to do, it's that I'm just avoiding everything so thoroughly it's leading me straight into a blinding path of boredom.
Yay?
I did some work and cleared some piles and made new piles and fought some Post-Its, so today is slightly better on the boredom scale, but eh.
I'm about go to pick up lunch and take it out to Mama and Mema. I haven't seen them in over a week and they were grumbling at me. I don't particularly want to leave, but I do require food. And it will be free. Yesterday, I ate the weirdest lunch thingie. It was a Healthy Choice steamer and had pumpkin squash and asparagus, but it also had chunks of some orange vegetable and pears. None of it fit well together, but I ate it.
Today I'm having something with cheese.
I have booked myself doctor's appointments for the next week. I'm not really looking forward to it. But eh. I need new glasses (which I've already bought. woo.) and to go to the dentist (which I haven't done since I was in a wheelchair. and that was a horrible experience, let me tell you.) and to talk to my doctor about how I feel like I never actually sleep. (Sure, I go to bed, I must at some point actually sleep because I wake up to my alarm, but I never feel like I've rested or achieved actual sleep.) I'm starting to get a little loopy and a lot grumpy.
The other day, Jamie and I went to the store. Shocking! And we bought meals that we have to cook! Even moreso! Well, for values of cook where we make sandwiches on the panini grill or we make a layer dip or heat Stouffer's enchiladas, but hey! We left the house! We came back with food that wasn't mostly already premade!
That was a lot of exclamation points. I will not apologize.
Yesterday on the way home, I listened to Commit This To Memory straight through for the first time in a while. I had stopped listening to it because it reminded me of Michael or places I had gone with Angela or it was just getting really fucking annoying, but listening to it again... I have to say, that if I could, upon meeting someone, just hand them over a copy of that album and be like, "Okay, here are most of my problems. They are sung to a ridiculous tune and have a moog synth. Enjoy and let me know if you have any questions. kthanx."
Because any time I am outside and not by myself with my half-circle of ridiculous charms that keep me going, I'm thinking that I'd rather be home feeling violent and lonely.
And now, I get to go have lunch with my mother and my grandmother. This is not my real smile.
Also posted at Dreamwidth. Comment wherever.
Yay?
I did some work and cleared some piles and made new piles and fought some Post-Its, so today is slightly better on the boredom scale, but eh.
I'm about go to pick up lunch and take it out to Mama and Mema. I haven't seen them in over a week and they were grumbling at me. I don't particularly want to leave, but I do require food. And it will be free. Yesterday, I ate the weirdest lunch thingie. It was a Healthy Choice steamer and had pumpkin squash and asparagus, but it also had chunks of some orange vegetable and pears. None of it fit well together, but I ate it.
Today I'm having something with cheese.
I have booked myself doctor's appointments for the next week. I'm not really looking forward to it. But eh. I need new glasses (which I've already bought. woo.) and to go to the dentist (which I haven't done since I was in a wheelchair. and that was a horrible experience, let me tell you.) and to talk to my doctor about how I feel like I never actually sleep. (Sure, I go to bed, I must at some point actually sleep because I wake up to my alarm, but I never feel like I've rested or achieved actual sleep.) I'm starting to get a little loopy and a lot grumpy.
The other day, Jamie and I went to the store. Shocking! And we bought meals that we have to cook! Even moreso! Well, for values of cook where we make sandwiches on the panini grill or we make a layer dip or heat Stouffer's enchiladas, but hey! We left the house! We came back with food that wasn't mostly already premade!
That was a lot of exclamation points. I will not apologize.
Yesterday on the way home, I listened to Commit This To Memory straight through for the first time in a while. I had stopped listening to it because it reminded me of Michael or places I had gone with Angela or it was just getting really fucking annoying, but listening to it again... I have to say, that if I could, upon meeting someone, just hand them over a copy of that album and be like, "Okay, here are most of my problems. They are sung to a ridiculous tune and have a moog synth. Enjoy and let me know if you have any questions. kthanx."
Because any time I am outside and not by myself with my half-circle of ridiculous charms that keep me going, I'm thinking that I'd rather be home feeling violent and lonely.
And now, I get to go have lunch with my mother and my grandmother. This is not my real smile.
Also posted at Dreamwidth. Comment wherever.