So I guess I will keep this thing going
There are so many different ways online that we all use to express ourselves and to watch others...while no one is looking. Myspace, facebook, Xanga-these are all sites where we express ourselves passively without actually having to adress anyone and conversly people read these sites passively without the person ever knowing that their info is being read by anyone in particular. I am just as guilty of it as the next guy. I just lost my best friend for stupid reasons and I find myself checking any electronic means to gain information about his life. I guess it is the modern version of 'driving by someones house' which everyone has done at some point in their life-Don't deny it! Which brings me to the question of where we will be as a global society in the future when we can know so much about a person without even meeting them. This can lead to those akward moments when you know something about someone that they haven't told you and then you have a discussion on that topic...it can be comical. Oh well no one reads this old thing anyway. I guess my basic point is that I miss him and all the times we have shared, but no amount of internet snooping is going to give me a piece of mind. This is the point where I should just grow a pair and tell him how I feel. TRIED THAT, a couple of times and it worked for about a week. The problem is bigger than us I guess and I just need to get over it. Well that is that ladies and gentlemen. so why does it still hurt so much...
And while I am on the venting subject, is it that f*#king rare to have a real friend!? I have discovered that in my 22 years of life I have only one true friend. Maybe that is an exaggeration, but I am upset at the moment. Pretty much every guy I have ever met is just trying to get into your pants and every girl just wants to have someone to compare herself to. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends. But everyone has been so damn ambivilant and shifty lately. Everyone only wants to do superficial things and have superficial conversations. I guess what hurts the most is that *he* was different, we had a real, genuine concern for one another and a connection beyond anything else. And it is always fun to lose a friend..., someone who you have poured yourself into for so long and something you have put your heart and soul into building up only to have it crumble all of a sudden. A good friend once told me, "It takes years to grow a tree-water, fertilizer, pruning, protection..., but only minutes to cut it down" People are a lot like that, it takes years to build ourselves up, to achieve things and create relationships, but when it all ends so abruptly it leaves the whole thing disproportionate, with a big build up and a quick fall.
And while I am on the venting subject, is it that f*#king rare to have a real friend!? I have discovered that in my 22 years of life I have only one true friend. Maybe that is an exaggeration, but I am upset at the moment. Pretty much every guy I have ever met is just trying to get into your pants and every girl just wants to have someone to compare herself to. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends. But everyone has been so damn ambivilant and shifty lately. Everyone only wants to do superficial things and have superficial conversations. I guess what hurts the most is that *he* was different, we had a real, genuine concern for one another and a connection beyond anything else. And it is always fun to lose a friend..., someone who you have poured yourself into for so long and something you have put your heart and soul into building up only to have it crumble all of a sudden. A good friend once told me, "It takes years to grow a tree-water, fertilizer, pruning, protection..., but only minutes to cut it down" People are a lot like that, it takes years to build ourselves up, to achieve things and create relationships, but when it all ends so abruptly it leaves the whole thing disproportionate, with a big build up and a quick fall.