When I woke up, I found myself in a dark alley without my socks and loafers. Thankfully I still had my phone, but I can't seem to find my wallet.

Now all I gotta do is get a scan to see if all of my organs are still in my body.

DAFUCK, AMERICA? Take advantage of an Irish man who went to the pub on a Wednesday? Shit these days.

Knock knock--who's there? I am!

NOW WHERE THE FUCK IS EVERYONE ELSE.

Four words.

WHAT A DEPRESSING CITY.

( WHO WANTS A FLOPPIN' IRISH DUDE )

 Brilliant! America is brilliant! The letter of the day is 'B'.

Right so, from my sweet Belfest, I flew all of the way here to America, land of the free but expensive. Services were lovely and I noted that everything was really big and that, folks, is one of the words I shall highlight.

Big airport, big food, big country, big folks in terms of length ( Read more... )